Redefining Bottom of the Barrel
She never won or placed in primaries, yet now she is THE...2 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
I am so glad that I finally got a poem that is written from a point of view that I can agree with. I see Kamala Harris as a phony who does not even know where she stands on issues. Patricia.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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I am so glad that I finally got a poem that is written from a point of view that I can agree with. I see Kamala Harris as a phony who does not even know where she stands on issues. Patricia.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Always great to get your review, my friend. We do agree on so much. However, I dare not show my wife your review which reads: "I finally got a porn..." I actually wrote it with my clothes on. At my age, I am not sure I would have actually scored a 5 stars without them... Thanks
Comment from SimianSavant
[updated review since the author fixed the display issue]
Hey, you might be still working on editing but I just wanted to let you know that your text is nearly impossible to read. Probably you did not intent to have black text on a black background. No one with weak eyes will be able to read it at all, and everyone else will have to zoom in and squint. This should be an easy fix for you.
There are some cadence issues with some of your lines as they pertain to limerick form. Every third beat is stressed. The first line you can fix rather easily:
Kamala's the Democrat's choice
(this assumes accenting the second syllable of her name, which while it's the incorrect way to say it, I am well aware that folks who detest her deliberately pronounce it that way, so for you, I think that works)
Line 3: They THINK she's a GOOD fit <= I think it would work better if you removed the word GOOD, which would place the accent on the word FIT instead, which sounds like more natural speech
Line 4 is good
Line 5: this is both out of meter and it doesn't rhyme with the first two lines. Consider some words that might end this line, such as: rejoice? Actually there are very few other words that rhyme with choice and voice, and I think that's the one you should use. Give it a shot! Please message me back after you clean this up so I can give you back a couple of stars.
Regards,
🦍
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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[updated review since the author fixed the display issue]
Hey, you might be still working on editing but I just wanted to let you know that your text is nearly impossible to read. Probably you did not intent to have black text on a black background. No one with weak eyes will be able to read it at all, and everyone else will have to zoom in and squint. This should be an easy fix for you.
There are some cadence issues with some of your lines as they pertain to limerick form. Every third beat is stressed. The first line you can fix rather easily:
Kamala's the Democrat's choice
(this assumes accenting the second syllable of her name, which while it's the incorrect way to say it, I am well aware that folks who detest her deliberately pronounce it that way, so for you, I think that works)
Line 3: They THINK she's a GOOD fit <= I think it would work better if you removed the word GOOD, which would place the accent on the word FIT instead, which sounds like more natural speech
Line 4 is good
Line 5: this is both out of meter and it doesn't rhyme with the first two lines. Consider some words that might end this line, such as: rejoice? Actually there are very few other words that rhyme with choice and voice, and I think that's the one you should use. Give it a shot! Please message me back after you clean this up so I can give you back a couple of stars.
Regards,
🦍
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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I have no idea what is going on. I have posted over 400 things, but never had a mess like this. I have complained
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I have no idea what is going on. I have posted over 400 things, but never had a mess like this. I have complained
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Ah ok, I can read it now. This happens to me sometimes when I am on a computer (not a smartphone) that when I select a color, and go back and edit it, it no longer has that color selected.