Dodie Rae
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "A plan"A young woman unwilling to submit to abuse.
15 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It has to be the policeman. With Dodie Rae's acute hearing, and instincts now, anyone who makes her angry is going to have a problem. It's good that her anger is directed to abusive men. I'll be reading the next chapters, tomorrow. It's past my bed time here in the UK. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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It has to be the policeman. With Dodie Rae's acute hearing, and instincts now, anyone who makes her angry is going to have a problem. It's good that her anger is directed to abusive men. I'll be reading the next chapters, tomorrow. It's past my bed time here in the UK. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Sandra for the excellent review, my friend. I am enjoying this book and see that you are caught up. That was fast, lol. I have to go to work and will be home around ten tonight. I will read all your reviews then. Thank your for following Dodie Rae's story.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Dodie Rae definitely has her guard up and is out to find out which cop is following them. No matter that Sam tries to reassure her that she shouldn't blame herself, Dodie Rae knows otherwise and shows off her strong character in this chapter. I wondered if she would have been that explicit when she referred to her "husband Richard's attack.." Maybe 'husband' or 'Richard' but I don't think both. A great build up in this chapter as we sense trouble ahead. Well done, Steve. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Dodie Rae definitely has her guard up and is out to find out which cop is following them. No matter that Sam tries to reassure her that she shouldn't blame herself, Dodie Rae knows otherwise and shows off her strong character in this chapter. I wondered if she would have been that explicit when she referred to her "husband Richard's attack.." Maybe 'husband' or 'Richard' but I don't think both. A great build up in this chapter as we sense trouble ahead. Well done, Steve. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Debbie, for this excellent review. I think you're right on the Husband thing. I'm used to my cousin always saying both, lol. I love the character Dodie Rae is becoming, and she will definitely rule in the sequel.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You are setting up a good plot: "We should call an emergency meeting tonight to support you and Sam." The tension increases: coming in cold to this edge of the seater, does the reader know if they really did kill their husbands? I am definitely going back to chapter 1 this is good.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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You are setting up a good plot: "We should call an emergency meeting tonight to support you and Sam." The tension increases: coming in cold to this edge of the seater, does the reader know if they really did kill their husbands? I am definitely going back to chapter 1 this is good.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Liz, for this excellent review. If you going to start at chapter one, I won't spoil it.
God bless,
Steve
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***GRIN***
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I worked as an advocate of rape victims and spousal abuse victims. It was a rewarding job but emotionally was very hard.
I'm enjoying reading your story .. it would make a great movie.
Dodie Rae and Sami seem to have things under control.
Well done!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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I worked as an advocate of rape victims and spousal abuse victims. It was a rewarding job but emotionally was very hard.
I'm enjoying reading your story .. it would make a great movie.
Dodie Rae and Sami seem to have things under control.
Well done!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Gypsy. I'll bet you were an inspiration to every one you worked with at that time. I can only imagine how emotional that would have been. I would love to have Dodie Rae on the big screen.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Jacob1395
I really like Dodie Rae, and I especially liked the way how she spoke to the Police officer when she was out with her friends. I hope they aren't trying to make Sam a scapegoat. Another exciting, well written chapter in your book. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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I really like Dodie Rae, and I especially liked the way how she spoke to the Police officer when she was out with her friends. I hope they aren't trying to make Sam a scapegoat. Another exciting, well written chapter in your book. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Jacob, for this incredible review. I am excited that this novel is crossing age barriers and receiving great reviews. My twin nephews, who are only thirteen, are enjoying it as well.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You need a bigger character list so everyone will not know without a doubt that one of the two cops is following them. Otherwise, if you pull out someone new now, that smacks of a red herring, and we tend to frown on that. Good writing , I can't wait for more.
I owe you four. Karen
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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You need a bigger character list so everyone will not know without a doubt that one of the two cops is following them. Otherwise, if you pull out someone new now, that smacks of a red herring, and we tend to frown on that. Good writing , I can't wait for more.
I owe you four. Karen
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Oh, do I need to have all the character's from the past in the list every time? I'm new at adding chapters, lol. If this is the case, there will be a butt load of them in the end.
Thank you, Karen, for this excellent review.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Jim Wile
Oh, I like what's happening here, Steve. The cops are onto her and as much as she'd like to help the other women, she has to proceed very carefully now. The tension is mounting.
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3 suggestions regarding representing personal thoughts with italics and avoiding speech tags when you do this:
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In this sentence: Yeah, but it is, she thought, the italics indicates this is a personal thought, so you don't need the speech tag at all--just simply Yeah, but it is.
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It would be better to display the following sentences:
It was an off-duty cop or maybe a private investigator, she thought. So they are watching us. She exited the car and went into the meeting.
like this:
It was an off-duty cop or maybe a private investigator. So they are watching us. She exited the car and went into the meeting. (This last part doesn't belong within the italicized thought.)
Notice also how the "are" is not italicized. That is to put stress on that word, which is how you stress a word in an italicized sentence. I like to stress individual words for emphasis in straight-text sentences by using italics for the word, but in an italicized sentence indicating a personal thought, you have to do the opposite and make it straight text.
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In the following passage:
She documented every woman's name, asking if they lived nearby. She found that three of the eight lived within five miles of her, and the rest lived on the outskirts of town. She thought I couldn't follow anyone home tonight as the meeting ended.
You can avoid the speech tag "She thought" as follows:
By the end of the meeting, she had documented every woman's name, asking if they lived nearby. She found that three of the eight lived within five miles of her, and the rest lived on the outskirts of town. I couldn't follow anyone home tonight.
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One last thing:
By the context, it seems like the following two lines of dialog are both said by Dodie Rae:
"Yeah, we could use the support." She paused.
"Would it be so bad if this animal turns out to be an avenger for battered women?"
It would be better to display it like this instead:
"Yeah, we could use the support." She paused. "Would it be so bad if this animal turns out to be an avenger for battered women?"
In your version, it looks like the second sentence is being said by Sadie, but doing it this way makes it clear that both lines are being said by Dodie Rae.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Oh, I like what's happening here, Steve. The cops are onto her and as much as she'd like to help the other women, she has to proceed very carefully now. The tension is mounting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3 suggestions regarding representing personal thoughts with italics and avoiding speech tags when you do this:
--------------------------------
In this sentence: Yeah, but it is, she thought, the italics indicates this is a personal thought, so you don't need the speech tag at all--just simply Yeah, but it is.
--------------------------------
It would be better to display the following sentences:
It was an off-duty cop or maybe a private investigator, she thought. So they are watching us. She exited the car and went into the meeting.
like this:
It was an off-duty cop or maybe a private investigator. So they are watching us. She exited the car and went into the meeting. (This last part doesn't belong within the italicized thought.)
Notice also how the "are" is not italicized. That is to put stress on that word, which is how you stress a word in an italicized sentence. I like to stress individual words for emphasis in straight-text sentences by using italics for the word, but in an italicized sentence indicating a personal thought, you have to do the opposite and make it straight text.
----------------------------------
In the following passage:
She documented every woman's name, asking if they lived nearby. She found that three of the eight lived within five miles of her, and the rest lived on the outskirts of town. She thought I couldn't follow anyone home tonight as the meeting ended.
You can avoid the speech tag "She thought" as follows:
By the end of the meeting, she had documented every woman's name, asking if they lived nearby. She found that three of the eight lived within five miles of her, and the rest lived on the outskirts of town. I couldn't follow anyone home tonight.
-------------------------------
One last thing:
By the context, it seems like the following two lines of dialog are both said by Dodie Rae:
"Yeah, we could use the support." She paused.
"Would it be so bad if this animal turns out to be an avenger for battered women?"
It would be better to display it like this instead:
"Yeah, we could use the support." She paused. "Would it be so bad if this animal turns out to be an avenger for battered women?"
In your version, it looks like the second sentence is being said by Sadie, but doing it this way makes it clear that both lines are being said by Dodie Rae.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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You're like a magician, my friend. Now you see it, and now you don't. It's refreshing to have people like yourself helping someone like me, Jim. There are a handful of folks like this, and I'm lucky to have them.
Okay, enough of the sap, lol.
I have made the revision. It will be a struggle to keep the "thoughts" out of my work, but I guarantee I've taken notes, and when editing, they will be reviewed. So, hopefully, this will help me avoid them. As far as the "are" not being italicized, I have no idea how I managed to do that one, lol.
Thank you, Jim, for all that you do, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
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Hey the revisions look great! So does the larger font.
Did you decide to do a straight copy and paste from Word into the advanced editor? The double-space looks fine, and no real need to use all that rigamarole to get it single-spaced.
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Yes! I copied and pasted it from Word, and it worked. Thank you, my friend.
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I've found the easiest way to display the character's thoughts is to write it in first person. I've written short stories in third person, but all of my novels are in first person. When it's narrated by your main character, everything is his/her thoughts. You never have to worry about italics.
If you think you might want to try writing one that way sometime and would like to discuss it first, I'd love to have that discussion with you.
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Yes, once I get a handle on this editing and all the ins and outs of Novel writing, I would love to pick your brain. I wouldn't even no where to begin,lol.
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My wife thinks I'm a pinhead at times, so it ain't that big!
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Lol!
Comment from royowen
I guess when one is Dodie Rae, you would be aware of your activities, one would naturally think the cops would be suspicious.particularly if you were around dead, violent guys that had died brutally, heh heh, I love this series Steve,, I have an intense hated of violent men...or women, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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I guess when one is Dodie Rae, you would be aware of your activities, one would naturally think the cops would be suspicious.particularly if you were around dead, violent guys that had died brutally, heh heh, I love this series Steve,, I have an intense hated of violent men...or women, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you, Roy. We share the same sentiment about abusers. I am enjoying, Dodie Rae, as she continues to write herself.
God bless,
Steve
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Good character
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=)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You've done a super fine job with this chapter, Neonewman! You should take a bow and pat yourself on the back for your diligence and tenacity. You are definitely a worker bee, and every week, your chapters are becoming tighter and more defined. Be proud. Be very proud. xoxxo
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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You've done a super fine job with this chapter, Neonewman! You should take a bow and pat yourself on the back for your diligence and tenacity. You are definitely a worker bee, and every week, your chapters are becoming tighter and more defined. Be proud. Be very proud. xoxxo
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Wow! Thank you, Rachelle, for this exceptional review, my friend. Thanks to people like you who take the time to help develop someone like me, I am proud.
God bless,
Steve
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I'm happy to do it. I appreciate the fact that you're such a quick learner and hard worker. It's fun to tutor someone who's eager to learn and improve. xoxo
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Thank you, I am eager to learn for sure.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am curious exactly who this person following them is. I'm pretty sure it's one of police officers. " Officer Riley had changed vehicles and was tucked in the east corner of the hotel parking lot." Thank you for sharing. I am enjoying reading this story.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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I am curious exactly who this person following them is. I'm pretty sure it's one of police officers. " Officer Riley had changed vehicles and was tucked in the east corner of the hotel parking lot." Thank you for sharing. I am enjoying reading this story.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you for this excellent review, Barbara. I don't want to spoil the story, so we'll have to see what happens in the next chapter. Dodie Rae already knows, lol.
God bless,
Steve
