Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Spirited Justice Chap 4"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
14 total reviews
Comment from Esther Brown
Missing three chapters? What? Just after I started from the beginning? There was one little question of grammar. Copied: Sophia laughed. "I think you are right. I'll meet with him, but only if you are here."
Should it be "but only if you are there."? I will be back looking for Chapter 5 tomorrow. Esther
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
  |
Missing three chapters? What? Just after I started from the beginning? There was one little question of grammar. Copied: Sophia laughed. "I think you are right. I'll meet with him, but only if you are here."
Should it be "but only if you are there."? I will be back looking for Chapter 5 tomorrow. Esther
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
-
I had to rewrite the story but I don't think anyone noticed...I was holding the chapters because some thought i posted too fast...well, I won't do that again. It really gave me a jolt! Thanks again as always... I'll get that here to there fixed.
Smiles, Carol
-
Too funny
Comment from Carol Clark2
It's a bit creepy with ghosts wandering in and out of this story, but the chill that follows them is an interesting way of identifying their presence. There are lots of characters in this story, and you've given us good information about each one so far. Sorry about your lost chapters. I hope you're able to reconstruct them. Carol
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
|
It's a bit creepy with ghosts wandering in and out of this story, but the chill that follows them is an interesting way of identifying their presence. There are lots of characters in this story, and you've given us good information about each one so far. Sorry about your lost chapters. I hope you're able to reconstruct them. Carol
Comment Written 08-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2024
-
My ghosts are lovely though so no fear of them going Boo in the night. LOL I've brought bck several characters from the last novel so it's just a continuation of their fun with a new plot. Thanks for enjoying!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
When you introduced Hilda, hiding behind stacks of crates and boxes, crying, I thought she was a young child. When I read the list of characters, I was surprised to find out Hilda was a medical researcher as well as pageant contestant, acting like a frightened child. I understand Bennet threatened her.
I'm enjoying Sophia's character, along with Max. We'll probably see more of him as the story progresses. I'm glad Eleanor will help Sophia, and Sophia will help Hilda. I love how all your characters connect.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
|
When you introduced Hilda, hiding behind stacks of crates and boxes, crying, I thought she was a young child. When I read the list of characters, I was surprised to find out Hilda was a medical researcher as well as pageant contestant, acting like a frightened child. I understand Bennet threatened her.
I'm enjoying Sophia's character, along with Max. We'll probably see more of him as the story progresses. I'm glad Eleanor will help Sophia, and Sophia will help Hilda. I love how all your characters connect.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2024
-
Hilda has lived in Germany and her life has been her research...She's got brain smarts, but street smarts is an entirely different thing. She's not use to dealing with people in general, especially high powered me who threaten her. The truth is she'd rather be back in her lab in Germany.
Yes, I liked Sophia and Max too. And of course, Eleanor will be there.
smiles, Carol
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I loved the way Sophia managed to compensate for her blindness by using her other senses. I was a bit confused that Hilda was crying out for help, but when it was offered she refused it. Happily Sophia persisted - hopefully this will be explored further in future chapters. kay
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
|
I loved the way Sophia managed to compensate for her blindness by using her other senses. I was a bit confused that Hilda was crying out for help, but when it was offered she refused it. Happily Sophia persisted - hopefully this will be explored further in future chapters. kay
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
-
Klaus, her brother, is Hilda's safety net and without him she doesn't think clearly, letting her emotions as the moment direct her.... which gets erratic. Sophia on the other hand has learned from experience and is steadier. Thanks so much for reading and enjoying. The two girls and Max will definitely play important roles in the future.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
A great next chapter! And yes, it has to be Eleanor who can rein in Donatelli and help Hilda. I like how you focused on the other senses so that we were put into Sophia's shoes.
Did you look at the file with your Share Your Story entry? Could some of the drafts end up in there?
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
|
A great next chapter! And yes, it has to be Eleanor who can rein in Donatelli and help Hilda. I like how you focused on the other senses so that we were put into Sophia's shoes.
Did you look at the file with your Share Your Story entry? Could some of the drafts end up in there?
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
-
I lost internet and cellphone usage completely yesterday. It had been sporadic for days but I thought it was the weather. I was told that a construction crew had damaged the tower and it was possible I ost the stories when I was saving...(but not not really saving) the story. I can't find them so I shall begin writing once more.... Hoping that the story goes where it is suppose to go. Thanks Helen for the support.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
So Eleanor appears to Sophia and has sworn to help her, although poor Sophia is afraid of Donatelli, but Eleanor assures her he is quite nice if you overlook his temper and the job that causes that, beautifully written, the dynamic duo of Jenna and Eleanor is working well, with an extra ghost in Danni, well done Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
|
So Eleanor appears to Sophia and has sworn to help her, although poor Sophia is afraid of Donatelli, but Eleanor assures her he is quite nice if you overlook his temper and the job that causes that, beautifully written, the dynamic duo of Jenna and Eleanor is working well, with an extra ghost in Danni, well done Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
Thanks Roy for sticking with me and encouraging me to continue. I hope Eleanor, Jenna and Danni can keep Donatelli in line while they try to solve this case.
Smiles, Carol
-
Me tok
Comment from karenina
There ya go! Good for you getting this posted...
I am certain you will fall right back into your chapters and they will shine!
I love Eleanor... She brings a special kindness with her.
Very interesting description of Sophia, and how her other senses compensate for her blindness.
Poor Hilda! This powerful man taking advantage of a young woman rings so true!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
 |
There ya go! Good for you getting this posted...
I am certain you will fall right back into your chapters and they will shine!
I love Eleanor... She brings a special kindness with her.
Very interesting description of Sophia, and how her other senses compensate for her blindness.
Poor Hilda! This powerful man taking advantage of a young woman rings so true!
Karenina
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
There you go! Giving me another boost! Lucky for me, this one was sitting in the portfolio on FS and waiting to be posted. I'm glad I didn't lose it, though, because of Sophia. I started another chapter, but it's not coming easy...but it will, I am sure. I have to remember what direction it was intended to go. As for Sophia, I think her senses will come into play again later. And, of course, I love Max!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
-
I like how you're getting into the meat of the pageant story... I KNOW you and it's gonna get wild from here!
-
Lost my internet and cell phone tower today until a few minutes ago. Seems like everything is working against me. Will try to write again tomorrow.... I need to get back into the swing of things,
-
I got your email. You might want to consider an exorcism!
(Just kidding)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
The beginning was a pleasant way to introduce Sophia's blindness as she feels the costumes to enjoy their beauty. Hilda does need to tell what the dead body was up to before someone, possibly another of his victims, killed him. Fortunately, Max and Eleanor are there to protect Sophia.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
|
The beginning was a pleasant way to introduce Sophia's blindness as she feels the costumes to enjoy their beauty. Hilda does need to tell what the dead body was up to before someone, possibly another of his victims, killed him. Fortunately, Max and Eleanor are there to protect Sophia.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
-
thanks, Carol. I think Sophia's keen senses will also help her in the long run to recognize things that others might miss. Appreciate the review and comments as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this post with us. I am positive that the new chapters will be better than ever. I have confidence in you.
"Remember, you can always come back, even if I'm not here. It's a quiet place to rewind."
"Thank you. I will." Hilda ruffled Max's fur. "You're such a good dog. Now take care of her." (You need a space between the two different dialogues.)
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
|
Thank you for sharing this post with us. I am positive that the new chapters will be better than ever. I have confidence in you.
"Remember, you can always come back, even if I'm not here. It's a quiet place to rewind."
"Thank you. I will." Hilda ruffled Max's fur. "You're such a good dog. Now take care of her." (You need a space between the two different dialogues.)
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
-
Thanks, Barbara. I appreciate your support and encouragement. It rattled me but I'll get back into the swing of it soon.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I love the ghosts being a part of this story, and I'm not worried about your lost chapters, because you will either find them or write them again. You have a remarkable brain, with a remarkable imagination.
Of course Max would sense Eleanor and know if she was a good or bad ghost. I hope Eleanor can placate Donatelli. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and won't miss the any more. Love it, and you. :)) Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
|
I love the ghosts being a part of this story, and I'm not worried about your lost chapters, because you will either find them or write them again. You have a remarkable brain, with a remarkable imagination.
Of course Max would sense Eleanor and know if she was a good or bad ghost. I hope Eleanor can placate Donatelli. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and won't miss the any more. Love it, and you. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
-
You're awesome! Always there to push me back into writing... thank heavens. I have started a few times today, but my mind keeps telling me...no, that's not how it was but I cant remember exactly how it was. Got to get out that mode and just write a new chapter... Thanks so much for the glorious stars and especially for your support. Though my brain doesn't feel too remarkable right now. LOL
Love ya, C
