Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "plato's retreat"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
2 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Eileen
I don't really think I've read any chapters in this book. I think a synopsis would've helped me a lot, but I think that you did such a good job of drawing out the characters and Mark's apprehensions about his parents that part probably did not need a synopsis
However, I believe that some of the past chapters have explained events that have made Mark suspicious about his parents. So, a synopsis would be good for that reason
Here. I think you want parents plural.
"when and how his parent engaged the driver."
Here. I think you're missing an it. It worth the wait
"for me in the back guest room. I promise to make worth the wait"
Here. Made his way?
"nside, he made his was carefully towards the servant stairs. "
Here it should be it was he
The way I always remember how to do this is I switch the sentence around. You would not say him was it. You would say he was it So that's how you know that it should be it was he. I know a lot of people people get it wrong, but you're writing a book so you want it to be accurate
"They had no idea it was him "
I enjoyed reading your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Hi, Eileen
I don't really think I've read any chapters in this book. I think a synopsis would've helped me a lot, but I think that you did such a good job of drawing out the characters and Mark's apprehensions about his parents that part probably did not need a synopsis
However, I believe that some of the past chapters have explained events that have made Mark suspicious about his parents. So, a synopsis would be good for that reason
Here. I think you want parents plural.
"when and how his parent engaged the driver."
Here. I think you're missing an it. It worth the wait
"for me in the back guest room. I promise to make worth the wait"
Here. Made his way?
"nside, he made his was carefully towards the servant stairs. "
Here it should be it was he
The way I always remember how to do this is I switch the sentence around. You would not say him was it. You would say he was it So that's how you know that it should be it was he. I know a lot of people people get it wrong, but you're writing a book so you want it to be accurate
"They had no idea it was him "
I enjoyed reading your book chapter
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your review and for helping me correct grammatical errors. I will be uploading more chapters as I am actually at chapter 45. Please continue to read and enjoy.
Comment from patcelaw
Compose story that flows very well when it is read aloud I enjoyed very much listening to it and I wish you the very best with all of your writing and you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Patricia.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Compose story that flows very well when it is read aloud I enjoyed very much listening to it and I wish you the very best with all of your writing and you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Patricia.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2024
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Hi Patricia - I am adding more and more chapters and look forward to your replies and comments.