Shall I Give In?
It would be great, but what about the consequences?3 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
I like the smooth meter of the poem and the unforced rhyme. With the last line about guilt, it sounds like this is a temptation to and affair or to have sex with someone much to young. If it is I hope the speaker doesn't give in.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Joan
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Hi
I like the smooth meter of the poem and the unforced rhyme. With the last line about guilt, it sounds like this is a temptation to and affair or to have sex with someone much to young. If it is I hope the speaker doesn't give in.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Joan
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Thanks for the read and feedback. Just fantasy, so don't worry.
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You are most kindly welcome.
Joan
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
You've nailed the theme of temptation with such finesse. The imagery of the "flowered breeze" and "tempting sight" sets a captivating scene, and the internal struggle you describe really pulls the reader into the conflict. Your use of rhythmic questioning in the final stanza highlights the dilemma perfectly, making the struggle between yielding to desire and dealing with potential guilt both vivid and relatable.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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You've nailed the theme of temptation with such finesse. The imagery of the "flowered breeze" and "tempting sight" sets a captivating scene, and the internal struggle you describe really pulls the reader into the conflict. Your use of rhythmic questioning in the final stanza highlights the dilemma perfectly, making the struggle between yielding to desire and dealing with potential guilt both vivid and relatable.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much for your careful read and encouraging review. Appreciated.
Comment from RodG
This poem is amusing, but I am sure there are many men who have been tempted by such women. Lust is hard to resist when the Tempter makes herself so available. I will never be a fan of AABB rhyming, but I enjoyed this poem. Rod
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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This poem is amusing, but I am sure there are many men who have been tempted by such women. Lust is hard to resist when the Tempter makes herself so available. I will never be a fan of AABB rhyming, but I enjoyed this poem. Rod
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2024
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Thanks for your read and input. I will try a different rhyme scheme next time. Pleased that you were amused.
