The Right Suitcase
Grab opportunity when you can2 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
The only thing I don't understand is why Alex didn't recognize Mara at the airport when she grabbed the wrong suitcase and so did he. Did she get them both the same type of suitcase and then lure him on this trip so that she could grab his and he would grab hers?
Making him think that she was his mistress rather than his wife I'm guessing
This is a very interesting entry for the contest. I was guessing that maybe his suitcase contained some targets and he was a hitman or that she was a hit woman
I guess if he thought she was his mistress, they must not have talked at all on the way to the airport or at the airport. Because would've recognized his wife's voice
Here I think you should make it a separate paragraph when you start talking about Alex. Just my opinion.
"What she had stumbled upon could be her key to breaking free from her suffocating life.
Alex stepped into the hotel bathroom"
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
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Hi
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
The only thing I don't understand is why Alex didn't recognize Mara at the airport when she grabbed the wrong suitcase and so did he. Did she get them both the same type of suitcase and then lure him on this trip so that she could grab his and he would grab hers?
Making him think that she was his mistress rather than his wife I'm guessing
This is a very interesting entry for the contest. I was guessing that maybe his suitcase contained some targets and he was a hitman or that she was a hit woman
I guess if he thought she was his mistress, they must not have talked at all on the way to the airport or at the airport. Because would've recognized his wife's voice
Here I think you should make it a separate paragraph when you start talking about Alex. Just my opinion.
"What she had stumbled upon could be her key to breaking free from her suffocating life.
Alex stepped into the hotel bathroom"
I enjoyed reading your story
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing does a great job of sharing the emotions and struggles of the characters. I thought their journeys were very relatable! The way you intertwine Mara's quest for liberation with Alex's descent into chaos makes a powerful story. I liked your attention to detail. Especally the tense hotel room confrontation. It brings the story to life and did a great job of keeping me completely immersed! I enjoyed reading this piece!
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Your writing does a great job of sharing the emotions and struggles of the characters. I thought their journeys were very relatable! The way you intertwine Mara's quest for liberation with Alex's descent into chaos makes a powerful story. I liked your attention to detail. Especally the tense hotel room confrontation. It brings the story to life and did a great job of keeping me completely immersed! I enjoyed reading this piece!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024