Rest in Peace
mankind has lost its way8 total reviews
Comment from Richard Frohm
A wonderful tribute to hero!! You seem to have a gift for poetry. I believe anyone can write a story. Writing poetry takes someone special.
My mother and her father were both incredible poets. Sadly, I did not get their talents.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
  |
A wonderful tribute to hero!! You seem to have a gift for poetry. I believe anyone can write a story. Writing poetry takes someone special.
My mother and her father were both incredible poets. Sadly, I did not get their talents.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
-
His death shocked me.
I wrote " Rest in Peace" after reading a nasty comment that said Cory deserved what happened to him caused he shouldn't have been at a Trump rally.
These elections have turned hearts into stones. And worse is to come.
Comment from mrsmajor
Congratulations, tempeste,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, in this powerful poem.
How very sad that a man should lose his life, because of the ugliness of another...Are people losing their minds, over politics...I say Yes, Indeed some are!!
I appreciate this tribute to one who used his own body to shield his family...May he rest in peace!
Warmly,
Victoria
 |
Congratulations, tempeste,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us, in this powerful poem.
How very sad that a man should lose his life, because of the ugliness of another...Are people losing their minds, over politics...I say Yes, Indeed some are!!
I appreciate this tribute to one who used his own body to shield his family...May he rest in peace!
Warmly,
Victoria
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
Comment from Pangalactic
Hi tempeste!
What a great piece of poetic grace this is, and very powerful, moving. It tells this important heinous story of attempted assassination turned murder of innocent bystander. It's a miracle more people weren't killed! What is this world coming to??!
You seamlessly weaved the alphabetic component in to form a beautiful piece of writing.
TB
|
Hi tempeste!
What a great piece of poetic grace this is, and very powerful, moving. It tells this important heinous story of attempted assassination turned murder of innocent bystander. It's a miracle more people weren't killed! What is this world coming to??!
You seamlessly weaved the alphabetic component in to form a beautiful piece of writing.
TB
Comment Written 29-Jul-2024
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, gun violence is horrible, and this was so unnecessary. The secret service had warnings. The emotion in this poem was felt. Good luck with the contest.
|
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. Yes, gun violence is horrible, and this was so unnecessary. The secret service had warnings. The emotion in this poem was felt. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2024
Comment from judiverse
This was such a disgraceful act. Yes, I read the one who died was protecting his family. I wish we knew more about the killer's motivation, but it'll be hard since he was shot. He must have spent hours practicing to be such an excellent marksman. It must have taken a lot of planning beforehand. You put a lot of emotion into your ABC Poem, and best of luck. Very vivid wording. judi
|
This was such a disgraceful act. Yes, I read the one who died was protecting his family. I wish we knew more about the killer's motivation, but it'll be hard since he was shot. He must have spent hours practicing to be such an excellent marksman. It must have taken a lot of planning beforehand. You put a lot of emotion into your ABC Poem, and best of luck. Very vivid wording. judi
Comment Written 23-Jul-2024
Comment from Kaiku
Thank you for the tribute to this firefighter. Peace is misspelled. The graphic used is very nice, solemn and thoughtful. Interesting use of the word 'quarry'. 'one that is sought or pursued' Nice.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
|
Thank you for the tribute to this firefighter. Peace is misspelled. The graphic used is very nice, solemn and thoughtful. Interesting use of the word 'quarry'. 'one that is sought or pursued' Nice.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
-
I wrote it because I read some comments saying he got what he deserved for being at a Trump rally.
I chose quarry because it rhymes with Corey and glory
Quarry is also another word for prey.
I will edit the typo
Thank you for reading and posting a review.
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
This poem addresses a tragic event with a poignant and respectful tone. Your work is effective in the following ways:
1. Emotional Impact: The poem conveys the gravity of the situation with a powerful and somber tone. The juxtaposition of the armed youth's action and the tragic loss of Corey evokes a deep sense of sorrow and respect.
2. Clear Narrative: The poem succinctly describes the incident, capturing the critical details of the event and the heroism of Corey. The narrative is direct and impactful, highlighting Corey's sacrifice and bravery.
3. Respectful Tribute: The final lines offer a respectful and dignified tribute to Corey, acknowledging his heroism and wishing him peace and glory. This resolution provides a sense of closure and honor to the memory of the fallen.
Suggestion: To enhance the flow and clarity, consider refining the structure or phrasing slightly. For example:
Armed Youth Fired
Armed youth fired and missed his quarry,
The bullet grazed Trump's ear but struck
Corey, a former firefighter,
Who died a hero shielding loved ones.
May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
Your poem powerfully captures the tragic and heroic elements of the event. It effectively honors Corey's sacrifice while conveying a deep sense of respect and solemnity.
*peace
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
|
This poem addresses a tragic event with a poignant and respectful tone. Your work is effective in the following ways:
1. Emotional Impact: The poem conveys the gravity of the situation with a powerful and somber tone. The juxtaposition of the armed youth's action and the tragic loss of Corey evokes a deep sense of sorrow and respect.
2. Clear Narrative: The poem succinctly describes the incident, capturing the critical details of the event and the heroism of Corey. The narrative is direct and impactful, highlighting Corey's sacrifice and bravery.
3. Respectful Tribute: The final lines offer a respectful and dignified tribute to Corey, acknowledging his heroism and wishing him peace and glory. This resolution provides a sense of closure and honor to the memory of the fallen.
Suggestion: To enhance the flow and clarity, consider refining the structure or phrasing slightly. For example:
Armed Youth Fired
Armed youth fired and missed his quarry,
The bullet grazed Trump's ear but struck
Corey, a former firefighter,
Who died a hero shielding loved ones.
May he rest in peace and rise in glory.
Your poem powerfully captures the tragic and heroic elements of the event. It effectively honors Corey's sacrifice while conveying a deep sense of respect and solemnity.
*peace
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
-
I appreciate the detailed review and your suggestions I like your edited version but remember that this is an ABC contest.
I will put struck and
edit his in the 4th line.
Keep safe!
Comment from Debbie Pope
Thank you for writing this one. Hats off to all those, public servants or not, who are willing to risk their life for others.
As a reviewer, I should point out the typo in the last line. Otherwise, a perfect poem.
|
Thank you for writing this one. Hats off to all those, public servants or not, who are willing to risk their life for others.
As a reviewer, I should point out the typo in the last line. Otherwise, a perfect poem.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2024
