The House on the Hill - Play
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Love Letters "Mystery
2 total reviews
Comment from iDri.Luv.Jesus
Whoa, it's a lot of heavy confrontations between Connie and Paul's dirty sinned secrets that he committed. While I was reading it, I was hoping that Connie has the inner strength to coldly get even back with that monster, bastard Paul. A 5 stars because I feel the same repeated pattern like the ending seeing Connie cried her gut out instead of using her brain from her inner strength to take laws into her own hand. After all, what Connie got worst to lose? She hit the bottom pit already!!! She's just as well... to never let that evil monster Paul get away so easily for what he created the nightmares to Connie. So, let the nightmares haunted him back so horribly just like what he did to Connie! Best of lucks to your writing, and looking forward to read more of your works.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Whoa, it's a lot of heavy confrontations between Connie and Paul's dirty sinned secrets that he committed. While I was reading it, I was hoping that Connie has the inner strength to coldly get even back with that monster, bastard Paul. A 5 stars because I feel the same repeated pattern like the ending seeing Connie cried her gut out instead of using her brain from her inner strength to take laws into her own hand. After all, what Connie got worst to lose? She hit the bottom pit already!!! She's just as well... to never let that evil monster Paul get away so easily for what he created the nightmares to Connie. So, let the nightmares haunted him back so horribly just like what he did to Connie! Best of lucks to your writing, and looking forward to read more of your works.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Thank you for your feedback! I really appreciate to know how the story is working.
-Tirzah
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Hi, you are very welcome! The story is great, it's just that I'm a just person, and I love to see Karma result to those who did bad, horrible things...! ;)
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
The script captures a high-stakes, emotionally charged confrontation between Connie and Paul. The tension is palpable, and the stakes are clearly defined, which makes for a gripping scene.
Strengths:
1. Emotional Intensity: The script effectively conveys the intense emotions of Connie, which adds depth and urgency to the conflict.
2. Dramatic Tension: The scene is filled with suspense and dramatic tension, keeping the audience engaged.
Areas for Improvement:
1. Clarity of Motivations: It might benefit from a bit more context regarding Connie's motivations and her past experiences to make her actions and emotions more comprehensible.
2. Dialogue Realism: Some lines could be refined to sound more natural and less melodramatic. For instance, the transitions between Connie's accusations and Paul's defensive responses could be smoother.
3. Pacing and Transitions: The scene could be tightened to ensure smoother transitions between actions and dialogues, maintaining a steady rhythm throughout.
4. Character Consistency: Ensure that each character's reactions and dialogue remain consistent with their established traits and backstory.
Overall, the script is compelling and effectively builds tension, but refining the dialogue and adding a bit more context could enhance its impact and clarity.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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The script captures a high-stakes, emotionally charged confrontation between Connie and Paul. The tension is palpable, and the stakes are clearly defined, which makes for a gripping scene.
Strengths:
1. Emotional Intensity: The script effectively conveys the intense emotions of Connie, which adds depth and urgency to the conflict.
2. Dramatic Tension: The scene is filled with suspense and dramatic tension, keeping the audience engaged.
Areas for Improvement:
1. Clarity of Motivations: It might benefit from a bit more context regarding Connie's motivations and her past experiences to make her actions and emotions more comprehensible.
2. Dialogue Realism: Some lines could be refined to sound more natural and less melodramatic. For instance, the transitions between Connie's accusations and Paul's defensive responses could be smoother.
3. Pacing and Transitions: The scene could be tightened to ensure smoother transitions between actions and dialogues, maintaining a steady rhythm throughout.
4. Character Consistency: Ensure that each character's reactions and dialogue remain consistent with their established traits and backstory.
Overall, the script is compelling and effectively builds tension, but refining the dialogue and adding a bit more context could enhance its impact and clarity.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
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Thank you for taking the time to read my scene and providing feedback. This is a first rough draft and so I am looking for any feedback I can come across.
-Tirzah