The Wish
A boy doesn't believe a local girl's story19 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Well I can certainly see why this earned the prestigious seal of quality. It's the best story I've read in a long time, either of FS offerings or published works. When I read I always hope for a gem or two, but this was peppered with them. Just to mention 3:
- The rotted barn and farmhouse sidings rattled in the wind like bones (beautiful imagery)
- "Sue-Marie, you couldn't tell the truth with a script." (wonderful touch of humour)
- Sue-Marie's mama died a week later. (how can you build a sting into the tail of such a dense story? brilliant)
kay
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Well I can certainly see why this earned the prestigious seal of quality. It's the best story I've read in a long time, either of FS offerings or published works. When I read I always hope for a gem or two, but this was peppered with them. Just to mention 3:
- The rotted barn and farmhouse sidings rattled in the wind like bones (beautiful imagery)
- "Sue-Marie, you couldn't tell the truth with a script." (wonderful touch of humour)
- Sue-Marie's mama died a week later. (how can you build a sting into the tail of such a dense story? brilliant)
kay
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi A Z
This is a well constructed story. It could be fantasy or horror, with the possible spirits on the Pritchard Farm. I guess your implying Sue-Marie's wish that her mother would die so her beatings would end.
My question is, will she ever bathe and brush her teeth so more people would want to be around her.
Congrats for getting the seal of quality
Keep writing stay healthy.
Good luck and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the week.
Joan
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Hi A Z
This is a well constructed story. It could be fantasy or horror, with the possible spirits on the Pritchard Farm. I guess your implying Sue-Marie's wish that her mother would die so her beatings would end.
My question is, will she ever bathe and brush her teeth so more people would want to be around her.
Congrats for getting the seal of quality
Keep writing stay healthy.
Good luck and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the week.
Joan
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
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My pleasure, A. Z..
Joan
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your story is a little longer than many FanStory post, but it is so well written with such a compelling tale, I couldn't read fast enough. Congratulations on earning A Seal of Quality. I've read, The Committee thoroughly scrutinizes a piece before granting a seal. You have been honored.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Your story is a little longer than many FanStory post, but it is so well written with such a compelling tale, I couldn't read fast enough. Congratulations on earning A Seal of Quality. I've read, The Committee thoroughly scrutinizes a piece before granting a seal. You have been honored.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from knowledge
As I was reading your story, I kept thinking, this is building up to a surprise ending. I was not disappointed. I loved your ability to keep up their accent. You kept your characters in the proper format of your story. You're a very good storyteller. A high compliment from another writer. I felt that you deserved my Six Stars! Your friend Knowledge.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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As I was reading your story, I kept thinking, this is building up to a surprise ending. I was not disappointed. I loved your ability to keep up their accent. You kept your characters in the proper format of your story. You're a very good storyteller. A high compliment from another writer. I felt that you deserved my Six Stars! Your friend Knowledge.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from Mufasa
Well done! I liked the character development and time/location setting, as well as the ambient sense of unease generated by Sue-Marie, as well as the crows (historical harbingers). This screams for another chapter. Good work.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Well done! I liked the character development and time/location setting, as well as the ambient sense of unease generated by Sue-Marie, as well as the crows (historical harbingers). This screams for another chapter. Good work.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Outstanding writing and a fine read. Oh, and congratulations on gaining your feather quill. I don't think I've read any post from you before, but I could be wrong. I can't remember what I bought from the grocery yesterday. But I certainly enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Outstanding writing and a fine read. Oh, and congratulations on gaining your feather quill. I don't think I've read any post from you before, but I could be wrong. I can't remember what I bought from the grocery yesterday. But I certainly enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much for your review!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. You had me on the edge of my seat. Sue-Marie is a great character. Your descriptions were excellent. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. You had me on the edge of my seat. Sue-Marie is a great character. Your descriptions were excellent. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your review!
Comment from Chi Phan
I love how the story drew me in from start to finish. The characters came alive through the narrative, particularly at the end. It was a beautiful and poignant surprise.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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I love how the story drew me in from start to finish. The characters came alive through the narrative, particularly at the end. It was a beautiful and poignant surprise.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Teri7
This is a really great and interesting story you have opened. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from your words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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This is a really great and interesting story you have opened. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from your words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 19-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Wendy G
I would give you six stars for this one if I had any left. It's extremely well written, filled with realism, drama and emotion - and the end comes with a surprise twist - very unpredictable, and shows excellence of thought and polished writing. Best wishes for the contest - I am sure it will do well.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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I would give you six stars for this one if I had any left. It's extremely well written, filled with realism, drama and emotion - and the end comes with a surprise twist - very unpredictable, and shows excellence of thought and polished writing. Best wishes for the contest - I am sure it will do well.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much!
