Saturday afternoon
A busy London street9 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jenin,
Wow, you really get in a description of all the different kinds of people you can see on the street on a busy main street of New York or and big city.
Well done. Nice rhyme and alliteration throughout.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Hi Jenin,
Wow, you really get in a description of all the different kinds of people you can see on the street on a busy main street of New York or and big city.
Well done. Nice rhyme and alliteration throughout.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 20-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thanks Joan
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You're welcome, Jenin.
Joan
Comment from Aiona
What a cute poem. I love poems that rhyme, and this one does. It has a meter of sorts. Some lines are a little different than most, but they all seem to have four feet per line. It paints a vivid word picture as well!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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What a cute poem. I love poems that rhyme, and this one does. It has a meter of sorts. Some lines are a little different than most, but they all seem to have four feet per line. It paints a vivid word picture as well!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much. Jen.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You created quite a vivid scene full of chaos and vibrant life on the streets of London with diverse culture, and raw daily life alive with people from all walks of life. I enjoyed your descriptions and I heard the noise here. A fine entry for the contest, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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You created quite a vivid scene full of chaos and vibrant life on the streets of London with diverse culture, and raw daily life alive with people from all walks of life. I enjoyed your descriptions and I heard the noise here. A fine entry for the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 17-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much Dolly. X
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Thank you so much Dolly. X
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It may be a Saturday afternoon in London, but it read like things one would see in almost any city in the US, and probably the world. I guess all cities are alike. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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It may be a Saturday afternoon in London, but it read like things one would see in almost any city in the US, and probably the world. I guess all cities are alike. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much. Jen
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read your posts, and I apologize. I've just been traveling for over a month and couldn't possibly keep up. I love the way you look at things, oh, and of course the way you see things too. You make me smile! "Burly builders in baggy-assed jeans," is a scene we've all seen more times than we care to remember. Hugs, Ric
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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I'm sorry it's taken me so long to read your posts, and I apologize. I've just been traveling for over a month and couldn't possibly keep up. I love the way you look at things, oh, and of course the way you see things too. You make me smile! "Burly builders in baggy-assed jeans," is a scene we've all seen more times than we care to remember. Hugs, Ric
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Many thanks Ric. X
Comment from Dr. Nad
This is a lovely poem to remind us that we are part of a heterogeneous society and any given Sunday afternoon would produce this variety of walkers. Just about the time you think you've got things figured out and the suspense is all gone, you will find that there are new, interesting and wonderful people mingling all around you.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
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This is a lovely poem to remind us that we are part of a heterogeneous society and any given Sunday afternoon would produce this variety of walkers. Just about the time you think you've got things figured out and the suspense is all gone, you will find that there are new, interesting and wonderful people mingling all around you.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much. Jen
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You are most welcome Jen, have a blessed day.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem wonderfully shares a snapshot of a bustling and diverse urban scene. I love your descriptions! From business men with mobile phones to children in buggies, youths on roller blades, and weary shoppers laden with bags, you paint a clear picture of the variety of people and activities that fill the streets. It's so fun to read and I could see this all in my head. Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
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Your poem wonderfully shares a snapshot of a bustling and diverse urban scene. I love your descriptions! From business men with mobile phones to children in buggies, youths on roller blades, and weary shoppers laden with bags, you paint a clear picture of the variety of people and activities that fill the streets. It's so fun to read and I could see this all in my head. Great job!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
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Thanks for the great review. Jen.
Comment from lyenochka
What a hustling and bustling place! And we get the feeling from your mostly trochaic meter. Best wishes in the contest!
Typo:
Sikhs is turbans, swarthy looks. (in turbans)
If you want to keep it trochaic tetrameter throughout, there are some suggestions below. But it's all up to you!
Dog collared priest, pair of twins. (Collared priest, a pair of twins)
Burley builders, baggy arsed jeans. (Burley builders, bag-arsed jeans.)
Brass band strikes up familiar tune (Band of brass strikes up a tune)
On this Saturday afternoon. (On this weekend afternoon)
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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What a hustling and bustling place! And we get the feeling from your mostly trochaic meter. Best wishes in the contest!
Typo:
Sikhs is turbans, swarthy looks. (in turbans)
If you want to keep it trochaic tetrameter throughout, there are some suggestions below. But it's all up to you!
Dog collared priest, pair of twins. (Collared priest, a pair of twins)
Burley builders, baggy arsed jeans. (Burley builders, bag-arsed jeans.)
Brass band strikes up familiar tune (Band of brass strikes up a tune)
On this Saturday afternoon. (On this weekend afternoon)
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much Helen. Much appreciated. Jen
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Jen. I'm so excited to see you writing again
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Wow. This is great Jen you outdid yourself and I'm so glad to see your music back. Your muse is doing a very good job now.
I like this so much, I'm giving you six stars
Here did you mean in turbans
" Sikhs is turbans, swarthy looks"
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Hi, Jen. I'm so excited to see you writing again
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
Wow. This is great Jen you outdid yourself and I'm so glad to see your music back. Your muse is doing a very good job now.
I like this so much, I'm giving you six stars
Here did you mean in turbans
" Sikhs is turbans, swarthy looks"
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thanks a lot for the great review. Jen
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Did you notice the shiny stars?
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Sure did
