Comment from B.A. Ryder

Excellent

This is a well told story. It moves along nicely and gives us a clear picture of Fergus, and how alcohol ruined his life and affected those who love him. It looks like your punctuation is missing in the last bit there, unless that was intentional? Also, Mr. and Mrs. are missing periods. Really nice work. Good luck with the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024

Thank you for pointing out the grammar. In actual fact, the character was borrowed from a novelette in progress. I wanted something different from the norm or a reminder of grief. Thank you again for reading, nonetheless.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Well this is a tragic story in which Fergus' fate always seemed to be a foregone conclusion. Your story skilfully recounts events leading up to his momentous decision that he could take no more, such was the weight of his conscience. A poignant read with Fergus' last shocking admission fulfilling the prompt. Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024

Thanks Debby. No votes on it yet, but I think the story covered the prompt.