In the Night
What happens when we sleep6 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This contest entry had me smiling because my muse had a horrible habit of waking up around 2:30 to share ideas for a story with me. I am not at all happy about this. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
  |
This contest entry had me smiling because my muse had a horrible habit of waking up around 2:30 to share ideas for a story with me. I am not at all happy about this. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem, and for the luck too!
Comment from karenina
Love the poem and the imagery you create. I'd suggest that your fifth line begin with the "S" in "Sometimes"
You may have to reduce your font size to keep this at five lines... (then again I've managed to fit it in below)
I believe "an realized" should be "a realized" ??
A very good entry for the ABC Poetry Contest!
Before I woke, my thoughts were dreams,
Carelessly orchestrated in my mind,
Deep inside the chaos danced,
Every night into a story.
Sometimes remembered, other times had an (a) realized existence.
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
|
Love the poem and the imagery you create. I'd suggest that your fifth line begin with the "S" in "Sometimes"
You may have to reduce your font size to keep this at five lines... (then again I've managed to fit it in below)
I believe "an realized" should be "a realized" ??
A very good entry for the ABC Poetry Contest!
Before I woke, my thoughts were dreams,
Carelessly orchestrated in my mind,
Deep inside the chaos danced,
Every night into a story.
Sometimes remembered, other times had an (a) realized existence.
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
-
Thanks for notice my mistake! It was supposed to be an unrealized existence. 😎
-
Ah...see? I never even thought of that!
:)
Comment from Daylily
I always enjoy ABC poetry and your message here is a good one about dreams. However, the font is really difficult to read and your entry is probably getting skipped over by a lot of members. (I know that one of your reviewers is a very lovely lady who is nearly blind and has to have her computer system recite the words of a posting to her.)
The word chaos is a good example of difficult reading because initially it looks like it says choos, and the word has looks more like it says had. This is not doing your entry the justice it deserves.
I really love the soothing painting you chose to accent your message; and I could look at it all day. Best wishes in the contest, Jodi!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
I always enjoy ABC poetry and your message here is a good one about dreams. However, the font is really difficult to read and your entry is probably getting skipped over by a lot of members. (I know that one of your reviewers is a very lovely lady who is nearly blind and has to have her computer system recite the words of a posting to her.)
The word chaos is a good example of difficult reading because initially it looks like it says choos, and the word has looks more like it says had. This is not doing your entry the justice it deserves.
I really love the soothing painting you chose to accent your message; and I could look at it all day. Best wishes in the contest, Jodi!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Thanks so much for the feedback. I changed the font to make it better. Thanks for your nice review too!
-
It looks great! :-)
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Jody
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I had a lot of trouble reading your font and could not tell what some words said. But I discovered that if I copied and pasted the text to this window, then I can see what it says. In case you're curious, the word I could not read was chaos. It looked like it was choos like a train would make.
Be careful of your fonts. Some members besides me, they find a font like that they just skip reviewing the item. I don't want that happening to you.
The o and the a are almost identical
This imagery is quite powerful. I think it sums up the rest of the poem completely.
"Deep inside the chaos danced,
Every night into a Story, "
The imagery there is stunning.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
Hi, Jody
This looks like a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!!
I had a lot of trouble reading your font and could not tell what some words said. But I discovered that if I copied and pasted the text to this window, then I can see what it says. In case you're curious, the word I could not read was chaos. It looked like it was choos like a train would make.
Be careful of your fonts. Some members besides me, they find a font like that they just skip reviewing the item. I don't want that happening to you.
The o and the a are almost identical
This imagery is quite powerful. I think it sums up the rest of the poem completely.
"Deep inside the chaos danced,
Every night into a Story, "
The imagery there is stunning.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Thanks for your great review and I have since changed the font. Thanks for the helpfulness!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very nice life presented ABC poem for the contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Happy July. Patricia.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
This is a very nice life presented ABC poem for the contest and I wish you the very best in the contest. May you have a wonderful week and may God bless you. Happy July. Patricia.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Thanks for the kind words and great review!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem beautifully captures nature of dreams and their fleeting hold on memory. Your poem shares a sense mystery about the nature of our inner lives and the stories that unfold within us during sleep.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
Your poem beautifully captures nature of dreams and their fleeting hold on memory. Your poem shares a sense mystery about the nature of our inner lives and the stories that unfold within us during sleep.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Thanks so much for reading and enjoying my poem!