The Attic
Kimo poem22 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
That was lovely and I adore the attic. I could spend hours up there. I like snooping in old attics, barns, and sheds. I appreciate you reviewing my work. Karen
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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That was lovely and I adore the attic. I could spend hours up there. I like snooping in old attics, barns, and sheds. I appreciate you reviewing my work. Karen
Comment Written 12-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much .My frozen shoulder was giving me a lot of pain ..even up to my finger tips .So I kept off from the lap top..
Comment from karenina
Nicely done! Love the "sepia" reference. This is an interesting form and your theme is well defined.
I love poking around old family attics!
Karenina
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Nicely done! Love the "sepia" reference. This is an interesting form and your theme is well defined.
I love poking around old family attics!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much, for stopping by .I am glad that you liked 'sepia reference.
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I love the look of "sepia" toned photos too...
Comment from gansach
This is an excellent presentation. I have learned another new form of poetry and this is a great example. The picture is perfectly matched, the descriptive words presenting a clear and nostalgic picture. Well done!
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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This is an excellent presentation. I have learned another new form of poetry and this is a great example. The picture is perfectly matched, the descriptive words presenting a clear and nostalgic picture. Well done!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you once again for these glittering stars. I am sorry my reply was delayed..
Comment from shelley kaye
this was an excellent kimo packed with imagery of dusty webbed memories and dreams packed away...
great connection between lines one and 2
one suggestion i have is to maybe add a dash (--) after the second line for the reader to pause before the third line... just a thought
thank you for participating in this week's event and sharing your poem!
shelley :)
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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this was an excellent kimo packed with imagery of dusty webbed memories and dreams packed away...
great connection between lines one and 2
one suggestion i have is to maybe add a dash (--) after the second line for the reader to pause before the third line... just a thought
thank you for participating in this week's event and sharing your poem!
shelley :)
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much .Yes Ithink I should add thatdash after the second line.I am sorry for the delay in my reply.
Comment from Shanbreen
"Vague Sepia memories" --- very appropriate. It's surprising how the things we cherished (dreams) at one time ends up in our collectables, most times, never to be touched again. So mush implied in your 3-line Kimo.
Love the imagery, too.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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"Vague Sepia memories" --- very appropriate. It's surprising how the things we cherished (dreams) at one time ends up in our collectables, most times, never to be touched again. So mush implied in your 3-line Kimo.
Love the imagery, too.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much for these lovely stars. I am sorry to be so late in replying. I know our attics cantell our stories..
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You are welcome
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You are welcome
Comment from jaded831
Very emotional, I think of all the time I spent thinking about tomorrow. Now I have reached the age there are few tomorrows. But at least with Fanstory, I feel like I've accomplished something. Your poem makes the reader think, I like that.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Very emotional, I think of all the time I spent thinking about tomorrow. Now I have reached the age there are few tomorrows. But at least with Fanstory, I feel like I've accomplished something. Your poem makes the reader think, I like that.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much .i am sorry my reply is delayed.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Sanku.
-You did a good job with the form.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-The vivid imagery in line one sets the scene.
-Memories from these "bygone days" have faded, like
"fragments of misplaced dreams."
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Sanku.
-You did a good job with the form.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-The vivid imagery in line one sets the scene.
-Memories from these "bygone days" have faded, like
"fragments of misplaced dreams."
-Very well done.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
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You are welcome.
Comment from June Sargent
Fragments of dreams - whether fulfilled or not - do accumulate in the attics of our hearts and minds through the years. Sepia tones that eventually filter into golden memories. A touching club entry.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Fragments of dreams - whether fulfilled or not - do accumulate in the attics of our hearts and minds through the years. Sepia tones that eventually filter into golden memories. A touching club entry.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by .
Comment from Begin Again
WE keep mementos of our past, some important and others simply things we can't let go for now. Unfortunately, I picture my children and maybe most young people, coming in and simply pitching it all, questioning why someone would hold on to these things. I've seen two family members empty their parents homes with dumpsters. There motto was "Pitch it" How sad ...it's like someone's life being tossed in the trash.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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WE keep mementos of our past, some important and others simply things we can't let go for now. Unfortunately, I picture my children and maybe most young people, coming in and simply pitching it all, questioning why someone would hold on to these things. I've seen two family members empty their parents homes with dumpsters. There motto was "Pitch it" How sad ...it's like someone's life being tossed in the trash.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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You are so right .I too have witnessed a close relative dumping her parents things after their time.I dont think the present generation is sentimental...
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is simply sublime! My only critique would be of your notes -- not enough for my limited understanding... But I will add what I looked up (to properly review a poetry format with which I am not familiar). *grin* (I will then bookcase this wonderful, highly evocative example of a kimo poem, and have my notes as a reference.)
"Kimo is a poetic variation of the haiku. It was created originally to better suit the syllabic counts of Hebrew, hence the Israeli Haiku moniker. It is a poem of three lines that follows a syllable structure of 10 - 7 - 6. They are typically written to capture a "snapshot" of life."
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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This is simply sublime! My only critique would be of your notes -- not enough for my limited understanding... But I will add what I looked up (to properly review a poetry format with which I am not familiar). *grin* (I will then bookcase this wonderful, highly evocative example of a kimo poem, and have my notes as a reference.)
"Kimo is a poetic variation of the haiku. It was created originally to better suit the syllabic counts of Hebrew, hence the Israeli Haiku moniker. It is a poem of three lines that follows a syllable structure of 10 - 7 - 6. They are typically written to capture a "snapshot" of life."
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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I didnt add more details because this is a club entry andthe club page gives details of the form.. Thank you very much for stopping by.
