Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Battle of Nyx Valley"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
19 total reviews
Comment from BOO ghost
Thanks for the footnotes! Enjoy this particular paragraph. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched his cousin brandishing his sword like an avenging angel. In and out, in and out, he alternately dodged and attacked the second bird. Reads smoothly thus far, reading on... A favorite sentence. Gone was his playful guise and whimsical nature. Like the words. Reading... Nice cliche! He stared at the bird as it lifted upward, and watched it swoop around like a tarantula stalking a lizard. This is not heard of everyday. paralyzing pain, an alliteration, I noticed. The story has grip and I'm learning the characters. Takes time, when you jump in out of the blue. Lot of good stuff! Interesting story. I wish you good luck publishing this! Keep up the hard work! It will eventually pay off! BOO!
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
  |
Thanks for the footnotes! Enjoy this particular paragraph. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched his cousin brandishing his sword like an avenging angel. In and out, in and out, he alternately dodged and attacked the second bird. Reads smoothly thus far, reading on... A favorite sentence. Gone was his playful guise and whimsical nature. Like the words. Reading... Nice cliche! He stared at the bird as it lifted upward, and watched it swoop around like a tarantula stalking a lizard. This is not heard of everyday. paralyzing pain, an alliteration, I noticed. The story has grip and I'm learning the characters. Takes time, when you jump in out of the blue. Lot of good stuff! Interesting story. I wish you good luck publishing this! Keep up the hard work! It will eventually pay off! BOO!
Comment Written 15-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
-
Hi Boo!! Thank you for the detailed review, my friend!!
I appreciate you highlighting different parts for comments.
I agree on the tarantula and lizard. I don't know what I was thinking except I wanted to not be cliche with cat and mouse. If you can think of a better one, please share and I'll change it.
I'm glad the footnotes were helpful. I probably need to update them.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Catcha later!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter in the story. Hermes appears to be someone you want on your side in a battle or elsewhere. He is, after all, one of the Twelve.
I was surprised Theo would let his concentration slip and wind up wounded,
but he is still young. Hopefully there is a healer somewhere close. Maybe the Nyx or someone else.
It appear Adam is about to prove himself again.
A smooth chapter with excellent action scenes.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
 |
Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter in the story. Hermes appears to be someone you want on your side in a battle or elsewhere. He is, after all, one of the Twelve.
I was surprised Theo would let his concentration slip and wind up wounded,
but he is still young. Hopefully there is a healer somewhere close. Maybe the Nyx or someone else.
It appear Adam is about to prove himself again.
A smooth chapter with excellent action scenes.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 06-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
-
Hi Robert, thank you so much for the six star review. Hermes is definitely a great warrior and friend. He is, however, a little too available for a young god who needs to prove his mettle.
Thanks for the review, my friend,
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from GoWiSt
Wow, what a battle scene. Adam shouldn't feel he failed them all, as he was doing his best. Yes, Hades kissed Echo and Hermes and Theo got hurt, but it wasn't his fault. Well, now we're gonna see how tough he really is as he gallops right into the thick of things. Can't wait to see what happens next...
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
|
Wow, what a battle scene. Adam shouldn't feel he failed them all, as he was doing his best. Yes, Hades kissed Echo and Hermes and Theo got hurt, but it wasn't his fault. Well, now we're gonna see how tough he really is as he gallops right into the thick of things. Can't wait to see what happens next...
Comment Written 05-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
-
Hi, thank you so much for the review. Adam is trying to work under the shadow of a powerful older brother, who he happens, also, to love. It's an odd combination that happens often in families, I think.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from nomi338
This story remains exciting and full of intrigue. I anticipate Hades getting his due. He is as despicable as his legend suggests. I fear for the brothers who are under attack by powerful forces filled with evil intent. I am convinced that the brothers will prevail. I will patiently await the outcome even while anxiously urging the story forward.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
|
This story remains exciting and full of intrigue. I anticipate Hades getting his due. He is as despicable as his legend suggests. I fear for the brothers who are under attack by powerful forces filled with evil intent. I am convinced that the brothers will prevail. I will patiently await the outcome even while anxiously urging the story forward.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2024
-
Hi Nolan,
Thank you so much for dropping in to read. I always look forward to reading your reviews! You're a great support, and the lovely 6 stars are a huge bonus!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good addition to the story. Theo fought bravely and blinded the bird. Despite his wound he saved his brother Adam. Now Adam returns to the battle. There is nothing pretty about war, only the need to win.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
|
This is a good addition to the story. Theo fought bravely and blinded the bird. Despite his wound he saved his brother Adam. Now Adam returns to the battle. There is nothing pretty about war, only the need to win.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
-
That?s a very good statement about war, Carol!
Thank you so much for the review! You are spot on with it!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do hope Adam is doing the smart thing. I really enjoyed reading and am enjoying this novel. I look for the new chapter each week. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
I do hope Adam is doing the smart thing. I really enjoyed reading and am enjoying this novel. I look for the new chapter each week. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Thank you so much for the six star review. Barbara! I?m glad you like it. Adam is being head strong. He wants to prove himself. I appreciate you following, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, Rhonda, this is action-packed and I'm exhausted simply reading it! I knew they had a tough challenge ahead but, right now, Theo and Hermes seem to be losing it. And Adam now has to prove his mettle. I love the analogy of the tarantula stalking a lizard as you inject all the might and evil into these monstrous birds. I don't know, however, whether you needed to say: "like wounded birds tend to do" as that instantly brings the reader out of the realm of fantasy and into the real world. Your wonderful detail is powerful enough and maybe the additional phrase should be left to the reader's imagination?* But this is a great story with so many magical mythical elements bringing us excitement, love, loyalty, bravery and an overriding message of good v evil. Well done, Rhonda. Take care Debbie
*sorry, Rhonda, I've just been reading about Hemingway's Iceberg theory in which he intensifies his story by explicit reference to the important detail (the bit above the water), leaving the rest to be inferred (underwater):))
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
Wow, Rhonda, this is action-packed and I'm exhausted simply reading it! I knew they had a tough challenge ahead but, right now, Theo and Hermes seem to be losing it. And Adam now has to prove his mettle. I love the analogy of the tarantula stalking a lizard as you inject all the might and evil into these monstrous birds. I don't know, however, whether you needed to say: "like wounded birds tend to do" as that instantly brings the reader out of the realm of fantasy and into the real world. Your wonderful detail is powerful enough and maybe the additional phrase should be left to the reader's imagination?* But this is a great story with so many magical mythical elements bringing us excitement, love, loyalty, bravery and an overriding message of good v evil. Well done, Rhonda. Take care Debbie
*sorry, Rhonda, I've just been reading about Hemingway's Iceberg theory in which he intensifies his story by explicit reference to the important detail (the bit above the water), leaving the rest to be inferred (underwater):))
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Oh, Debbie, thank you for the advice! To be honest, I didn?t like that line, either, but didn?t know what bothered me. I?m glad I left it in, though, because I needed what you said about the iceberg. That will help me a lot!
Thank you for the six stars as well, dear friend!
They, and the brilliantly detailed review were most welcomed!,
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
You're welcome Rhonda! I'm not usually that suggestible when I read about these authors but that theory made a lot of sense to me especially because I tend to lay everything out on a plate in my poems!! I should practise what I preach:))
-
I love your poems! But, I do like his point. It will help me, for sure. I always think I have to explain everything.
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda....seems to me that Theo and Adam partook of the magic elixir of acid dreams and are on the acid trip to end all acid trips, am I right.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
|
Another fine chapter, Rhonda....seems to me that Theo and Adam partook of the magic elixir of acid dreams and are on the acid trip to end all acid trips, am I right.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
-
Especially Theo, lol!
Thanks for the review, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
I just love it, Rhonda, and I'm so glad that was able to give you a six this late in the week. I absolutely adore the story. You wrote it so very well. But both brothers are in dire straits. I'm rooting for them. A big hug, Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
|
I just love it, Rhonda, and I'm so glad that was able to give you a six this late in the week. I absolutely adore the story. You wrote it so very well. But both brothers are in dire straits. I'm rooting for them. A big hug, Ulla xcx
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
-
Hi Ulla,
Thank you so much for the late week 6. I run out pretty quickly, too. The brothers appreciate your support!
Hugs,
Rhonda
-
Hugs back to you. Just to let you know. I have been very bold. I have actually entered write a book in a month contest. I hope I will.be able to do it. So Beyond Redemption will be out every other week this month. Ulla xcx
-
Hi Ulla,
I did notice you entered that contest. I?m doing good to get one out a week. I will try to keep up with yours. I don?t always have a lot of time, and I have even more things cropping up now.
Big hugs,
Rhonda
-
I totally understand. Whatever you can do will be a bonus. Xcx
Comment from Steve Foreman
Another great and gripping chapter in the ongoing saga of Echo and her companions. Well written, exciting and gripping. I love it. Sorry! No six stars available to me this week!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
|
Another great and gripping chapter in the ongoing saga of Echo and her companions. Well written, exciting and gripping. I love it. Sorry! No six stars available to me this week!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
-
Hi Steve, thank you for the review and comments! I understand about the sixes. I?ll gladly take the virtual one!
Have a great rest of your week,
Rhonda
-
Thanks Rhonda!
