The Leap
What is her fate?16 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yes, the mind of a poet. Poets open themselves up much more than prose writers do. Poets need the emotion in just a short space. I enjoyed reading this entry. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Yes, the mind of a poet. Poets open themselves up much more than prose writers do. Poets need the emotion in just a short space. I enjoyed reading this entry. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much for your review! Thanks for taking the time to read it!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
How clever, Jodi! I was actually waiting to read your line as she penetrated the water's surface. But no, you smoothly transitioned to your imagery of the pen piercing the paper and the sensual description of the emotions 'splashing' and blossoming into stanzas. This is a very impressive and imaginative free verse, complemented by that amazing visual and creating an excellent work of art. Well done and good luck! My only suggestion would be to reduce the font size a little so that each line is contained without running over and possibly break it, after virgin slate, into another stanza. That would allow a less crowded look and more space to breathe for your lovely words. But well done! And good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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How clever, Jodi! I was actually waiting to read your line as she penetrated the water's surface. But no, you smoothly transitioned to your imagery of the pen piercing the paper and the sensual description of the emotions 'splashing' and blossoming into stanzas. This is a very impressive and imaginative free verse, complemented by that amazing visual and creating an excellent work of art. Well done and good luck! My only suggestion would be to reduce the font size a little so that each line is contained without running over and possibly break it, after virgin slate, into another stanza. That would allow a less crowded look and more space to breathe for your lovely words. But well done! And good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much! I really appreciate your helpfulness, and I?m so glad you enjoyed my poem! It?s funny how you say that you pictured this girl jumping into the water, because initially I was going that direction. Thanks again!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation.
-You do a good job with the poem and topic.
-The imagery paints a vivid word picture.
-Very good, strong word choices like
glowing "in her ivory suit."
-A good job with the first part about
the leap and the jagged rocks.
-This is my favorite image:
"piercing the pale, empty paper."
-I also like how you build up her confidence
as she keeps writing and the rocks are smoother.
-A very good ending about exploring
"unknown depths of thoughts...inside the mind of the poet."
-I enjoyed reading your poem and think it is a very good entry.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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-Very nice artwork and presentation.
-You do a good job with the poem and topic.
-The imagery paints a vivid word picture.
-Very good, strong word choices like
glowing "in her ivory suit."
-A good job with the first part about
the leap and the jagged rocks.
-This is my favorite image:
"piercing the pale, empty paper."
-I also like how you build up her confidence
as she keeps writing and the rocks are smoother.
-A very good ending about exploring
"unknown depths of thoughts...inside the mind of the poet."
-I enjoyed reading your poem and think it is a very good entry.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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I really appreciate your review and comments! Thanks for the luck too!
Much appreciated!
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Begin Again
Fine job! Your thoughts on paper led the reader to the edge of tragedy and despair. With the speed of light, you took hold of our fears and turned them into something entirely different, so much more exciting and uplifting. The imagination is a wonderful thing, and it is even greater when we share it.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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Fine job! Your thoughts on paper led the reader to the edge of tragedy and despair. With the speed of light, you took hold of our fears and turned them into something entirely different, so much more exciting and uplifting. The imagination is a wonderful thing, and it is even greater when we share it.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my poem, and the great review!
Comment from karenina
You have a unique voice that endears itself to the reader...
How easily you created an anticipation and turned it on its head!
Original and startling enough that I couldn't wait to climb back to the beginning and take the plunge again!
Best of luck!
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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You have a unique voice that endears itself to the reader...
How easily you created an anticipation and turned it on its head!
Original and startling enough that I couldn't wait to climb back to the beginning and take the plunge again!
Best of luck!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2024
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Thanks for the excellent review! Yes, it was fun to add the twist!
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Don't ever lose your sense of individuality. It is a gift that will bode well for you in all of your writing!
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Oh wow! You have me chills with your reply! I?ve only recently delved into the world of poetry and am obsessed! One day I would love to publish some. Thanks again!
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We are in an exciting time. You can self-publish on Kindle trough KDP quite easily these days!
Comment from jessizero
You did a great job starting out one way and ending with a surprise twist. I really enjoyed this piece. The picture was a nice touch. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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You did a great job starting out one way and ending with a surprise twist. I really enjoyed this piece. The picture was a nice touch. Thank you so much for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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Thanks for the nice review and best wishes! I?m glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from gansach
I enjoyed your free verse poem very much--a great entry for the contest. I have written poems about writing poems also and I really liked the comparison with climbing rocks to a cliff top and diving into the unknown, that nice little surprise landing is fantastic. Great job!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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I enjoyed your free verse poem very much--a great entry for the contest. I have written poems about writing poems also and I really liked the comparison with climbing rocks to a cliff top and diving into the unknown, that nice little surprise landing is fantastic. Great job!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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Thank you so much for the great review! I really appreciate it!
Comment from Steve Foreman
You wanted to make it sound one way in the beginning and have an unexpected twist at the end... you definitely achieved that (helped by the image, no doubt). An excellent piece of writing that I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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You wanted to make it sound one way in the beginning and have an unexpected twist at the end... you definitely achieved that (helped by the image, no doubt). An excellent piece of writing that I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem! I really appreciate it!
Comment from June Sargent
This is an amazing poem with a surprising twist at the end. I took the leap and landed somewhere totally unexpected! You have the heart of a poet who hooks us in and takes us on a ride with skillfully chosen words. Well done!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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This is an amazing poem with a surprising twist at the end. I took the leap and landed somewhere totally unexpected! You have the heart of a poet who hooks us in and takes us on a ride with skillfully chosen words. Well done!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2024
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Oh my gosh! You made my day with your six stars. I have chills now! Thanks so much!
Comment from QC Poet
You really had your success in the twist you wanted. I did get lost between where the sentence began and ended after the Caps faded away the thankfully returned.
Thanks for submitting your Free Verse poem and Sharing it with us on FS
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024
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You really had your success in the twist you wanted. I did get lost between where the sentence began and ended after the Caps faded away the thankfully returned.
Thanks for submitting your Free Verse poem and Sharing it with us on FS
Comment Written 02-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2024
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Thanks for your kind review, also for reading and enjoying it!