Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

Pain control is usually what get on hook on prescription drugs. I think it wouldn't work well on me because I rather suffer pretty badly before taking even an apron for pain. People who are okay with letting their mind get a little out of control become drug addicts. This is a great story and I can see it will before it gets better.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

You must have a high tolerance for pain. My mother-in-law is the same way. She broke her femur once, and the most she ever took was an occasional Tylenol.

Yes, it's going to get worse before it gets better. This is a road best to not get started on by some people, especially those who begin to feel the pleasurable effects of the drug. Following my back surgery, I took Vicodin for three months which did a good job of pain relief, but I never once felt high from it. It was also easy for me to taper off it. But that isn't the case with many.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

This is kind of the "you reap what you sow" from the Bible. I hope he can work past the pain eventually. Taking Oxy lowers one's ability to make smart decisions. Hope he's not around Sandi when he slips.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024

Exactly that. Oxy is a temporary measure at best and carries with it risks that outweigh its benefits. He has to find a non-addictive substitute for it or learn to live with the pain.

I think we can conclude it's pretty much over with Sandi.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I heard that drug is dangerously addictive. This is how life can change in an instant when we lose our concentration and ignore our instincts for safety as our emotional state rules our life. How very sad this story is and we pay heavily for our mistakes in life. Another fine chapter in your tale here Jim, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Dolly. Yep, all it takes is an instant to ruin your future sometimes. He will have to live with the consequences of his bad decisions for a long time now.

Comment from Thesis

Excellent

Brian is a perplexed young man who is making some bad decisions. The way you describe Fran's reaction is surprising. Based on her position, I would have imagined she would be showing some tough love for her baby brother. Showing his dependence on OxyContin suggests more trouble ahead.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2024

I guess Fran doesn't want to kick him when he's down, beat a dead horse, or some other cliche of choice. She realizes he is in for a great deal of pain for the foreseeable future, and she doesn't feel it's necessary to pile on any further. If he doesn't get the message from this that what he did was awfully dumb, then chances are he wouldn't respect what she had to say either.

Absolutely, more trouble is to come, but this will serve a purpose long-term in the story.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Hmmm... a creepy start to the chapter, which took a moment to figure out what may have been happening.
But it worked!

He's not charged for a DUI?
Wouldn't the police have asked questions at the scene? Home visited him at the hospital? I thought Sandi may have?

Maybe I'm reading too much into this and it's insignificant to the story.

Overall, well done,
John

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

Thanks, John. He was still in the kid's driveway (it's a long one), so doubtful the cops would have charged him with DUI. He was unconscious, so no questions at the scene.

It's always a decision an author has to make about how much detail and what kind to provide in a story. Some authors just go on and on about everything, but I like to consider whether the details are either important to the story or give a good feel for the characters. I don't like to give too much detail about the physical attributes of a scene, but just enough for the reader to get the general idea. Everything is a judgment call.

reply by jmdg1954 on 28-Jun-2024

Agreed. Your style of writing and presenting a story is to keep the flow of the story moving along.
No problems here with that. Just doing my job as a reviewer.

Enjoy the day?
John

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Oh yes, I can see where this is going now with the pain relief! Goodness, Jim, you've conveyed the pain of these injuries in graphic as well as photographic detail. I broke my back in a car accident so some of this is very relatable indeed. I like the dream sequence in the beginning and the gradual return to reality. And your medical knowledge is very impressive (you're always so conversant with factual detail). I also like the humour with the gift that keeps on giving! This is a superb chapter once again. The story is opening out nicely and it's a very satisfying read. Well done, Jim. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Debbie for your perceptive, as always, review. At this point in his life, the pain will have an overriding influence on his actions, but we'll also see how it becomes intermingled with pleasure such that it's difficult to tell which becomes the stronger motivator. This will be explored a great deal throughout the story.

reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 28-Jun-2024

You speak as one of great experience! But, after all, you're the one with the pills, pills, pills:))

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

I felt you got the hospital scenes both before Brian woke from his coma and after, just right, Jim. This was a good write, and Brian has a lot to think about. Well done,
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

Thanks very much, Valda. I appreciate those 6 stars too. Brian indeed will have a lot to think about, and his thinking will become clouded by the presence of Oxycontin in his life now. The dichotomy of pleasure vs pain will figure very large in his decision-making.

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

I now understand how Brian became interested in opioids. Reducing pain is a great motivator. I love the way Brian's sister handled his hospital stay after his stupid mistake landed him there. He's still a teenager, so he has a lot of growing and learning to do.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

Yes, this was the genesis of something that becomes a major influence in his behavior for quite a while. The reducing pain part is great; it's the other aspects of narcotics that often leads people astray.

It's interesting to me how Fran's treatment of him following the accident is perceived so differently by people. Some thought she was too easy on him, but I side with you in that there's no need to kick someone while they are down. She knows he will suffer plenty for his foolishness.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I see how Brian gets into the drug addiction now. It's typical for those hooked on oxycontin to get into other drugs. It's too bad that this adds to the trauma of losing his parents to a car accident. I liked how you recall the title in Brian's dream sequence "Enough what". Hope he gets enough soon to quit!

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2024

Yes, this was just the beginning of the problems that motivate him for much of the story. The dream sequence was metaphorical, and it will become clear what was following him in the dark.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

You're turning this into a great story Gretchen, plus the bonus of writing as the main character and narrator as a male, you are perceptive, which gives it a lift, and no difference if it were a male writing it, silly old Brian perhaps the boy's attitude and philosophy may change, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2024

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2024

Well, it's Jim, but I'll bet Gretchen could write it just as well from the male perspective. She's a talented writer.

Thanks for the compliment, though, Roy.

reply by royowen on 26-Jun-2024

I did read yours Jim, about Brian waking up in hospital with three nasty injuries to his back, his sister by his side, it was a great episode my friend, I wonder if your review is on hers, oh well, sorry my friend,