The Tainted
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Explanation"A fantasy story following hunter Taya
2 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
So, we are in for even further revelations! A great way to end this chapter, keeping us in suspense. Now we know even more about Demi. I admire the way you are "layering in" these situations and slowly unraveling them for us.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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So, we are in for even further revelations! A great way to end this chapter, keeping us in suspense. Now we know even more about Demi. I admire the way you are "layering in" these situations and slowly unraveling them for us.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you :)
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I once read or heard (David Morrell, maybe, - English teacher and author) that a person should limit exclamation points to three per novel. That, of course, is a gross exaggeration, but his point is that overuse both distracts the reader, and dilutes the desired affect.
"...it looked like you were role playing with the little girl. Should I address you formally?" - (role-playing)
"...leave it." - There doesn't seem to be a reason for the ellipses. Was there a deliberate pause in speech? If so, maybe a narrative explanation.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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I once read or heard (David Morrell, maybe, - English teacher and author) that a person should limit exclamation points to three per novel. That, of course, is a gross exaggeration, but his point is that overuse both distracts the reader, and dilutes the desired affect.
"...it looked like you were role playing with the little girl. Should I address you formally?" - (role-playing)
"...leave it." - There doesn't seem to be a reason for the ellipses. Was there a deliberate pause in speech? If so, maybe a narrative explanation.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Lol then I'm guessing
Demi?s character would be more your preference. Taya's meant to be a spit fire but I sew what you're saying. After re-reading I did use quite a bit of explanation points. I'll try replacing it with words.
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I gave it an edit. Obviously her character is still the same but I wonder if this is a little better from a literary stand point. I'd appreciate it if you could take a look.