Dodie Rae
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Bay Lynn"A young woman unwilling to submit to abuse.
18 total reviews
Comment from Tim Margetts
A good chapter and an intriguing continuation.
What is in the bottle, I can but ask myself.
Guess I need to read on and find out.
I can't remember what chapter i read earlier today, but i shall get to it soon enough :)
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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A good chapter and an intriguing continuation.
What is in the bottle, I can but ask myself.
Guess I need to read on and find out.
I can't remember what chapter i read earlier today, but i shall get to it soon enough :)
Comment Written 13-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
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The last chapter you read was 23.
Thank you for another uplifting review, my friend. I am going to see what you have posted. I have to leave for work soon, but will check out your work.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Now I am curious, what's in the bottle? You have me hooked. I am worn out from unpacking and what not, with many days more of it. I owe you two more after this.Karen
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
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Now I am curious, what's in the bottle? You have me hooked. I am worn out from unpacking and what not, with many days more of it. I owe you two more after this.Karen
Comment Written 27-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
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What's in the bottle? This phrase was in almost every review, lol. You'll find out in the next chapter. Thank you for this excellent review. Get some rest.
God bless,
Steve
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These answers come in dd order sometimes. You got a critter in there.!
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Lol.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is good. I'm glas Dodie went to see her Bay Lynn, she has the answer to Dodie's problem. I will carry on and see what happens when she sees Richard again. Another intriguing chapter. :)) Sandra x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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This is good. I'm glas Dodie went to see her Bay Lynn, she has the answer to Dodie's problem. I will carry on and see what happens when she sees Richard again. Another intriguing chapter. :)) Sandra x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Sandra, I work a lot of hours and will put a new chapter up each Sunday. I enjoy your reviews, my friend.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
I am so enjoying this story. I feel like I can see all of them. I love that you are using the dialect set the pace. Southern stories happen slower. They are born on front porches while swatting mosquitos and sipping tea or moonshine. You're a master story teller. Gretvhen
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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I am so enjoying this story. I feel like I can see all of them. I love that you are using the dialect set the pace. Southern stories happen slower. They are born on front porches while swatting mosquitos and sipping tea or moonshine. You're a master story teller. Gretvhen
Comment Written 29-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2024
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Nothing wrong with moonshine, lol. Thank you for joining this novel, I'm hoping to add chapter four by morning.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from F. William Lester
Interesting story. I haven't read the first chapters, so I'm at a disadvantage in fully understanding the plot. I like the potential and think you have a good start. I have several comments. First, minor points but indicative of your need to edit before submitting. The following two sentences are missing quotation marks: Her eyes beg for answers. You always seemed so happy." (opening quotation marks before "You"). "That husband of yours will change and be the best part of your life from here on out, that I promise. (closing quotation marks after "promise"). The next example is not wrong, but it is something to be aware of: Bay Lynn says, then hugs Dodie Rae and kisses her goodbye. "It's going to be alright, child." The use of "alright" vs. "all right" is a matter of debate. The former is more colloquial and the two are often used interchangeably. However, in published writing the latter is preferred. Lastly, I think a good hook at the end of the chapter is necessary to increase the tension and draw the reader into the next chapter. Maybe a hint of what's in the bottle or an offhand comment by Bay Linn as Dodie Rae is driving away, something that teases the curiosity of the reader and makes them want to read the next chapter. I enjoyed reading this chapter. It's a great start to a good story. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck.
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reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
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Interesting story. I haven't read the first chapters, so I'm at a disadvantage in fully understanding the plot. I like the potential and think you have a good start. I have several comments. First, minor points but indicative of your need to edit before submitting. The following two sentences are missing quotation marks: Her eyes beg for answers. You always seemed so happy." (opening quotation marks before "You"). "That husband of yours will change and be the best part of your life from here on out, that I promise. (closing quotation marks after "promise"). The next example is not wrong, but it is something to be aware of: Bay Lynn says, then hugs Dodie Rae and kisses her goodbye. "It's going to be alright, child." The use of "alright" vs. "all right" is a matter of debate. The former is more colloquial and the two are often used interchangeably. However, in published writing the latter is preferred. Lastly, I think a good hook at the end of the chapter is necessary to increase the tension and draw the reader into the next chapter. Maybe a hint of what's in the bottle or an offhand comment by Bay Linn as Dodie Rae is driving away, something that teases the curiosity of the reader and makes them want to read the next chapter. I enjoyed reading this chapter. It's a great start to a good story. Thanks for sharing it. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
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Thank you for this most helpful review . I went in and made the corrections. I see the issue with alright. To me this is said when someone asked you to do something. What a huge difference all right made.
God bless
Steve
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm anxious to see where your story goes from this second chapter and where and how your characters take it there. I've enjoyed every sentence up to now. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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I'm anxious to see where your story goes from this second chapter and where and how your characters take it there. I've enjoyed every sentence up to now. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Ric. I?m enjoying the characters as they develop. Awesome review my friend.
God bless
Syeve
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, now I am intrigue, 'cause I need some of that magic cure:) is for sale? Who knows, maybe there is a cure after all. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Wow, now I am intrigue, 'cause I need some of that magic cure:) is for sale? Who knows, maybe there is a cure after all. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Iza, for this excellent review. I will post the next chapter on Sunday or Monday.
Not for sale! That's all I can tell you, lol.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting encounter. I have to wonder what stinking miracle is inside that bottle. This is a great way to get your reader invested in reading on. The main thing is that Dodie Rae believes in its power.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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This is an interesting encounter. I have to wonder what stinking miracle is inside that bottle. This is a great way to get your reader invested in reading on. The main thing is that Dodie Rae believes in its power.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Carol for this excellent review. I am invested as well and I know what's going to happen, lol. I will try and post the next chapter Sunday or Monday.
God bless,
Steve
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have turned this into a compelling story. I most like the fact that you've included a bit of mystery and suspense, and that you're calling this a horror and thriller story. I look forward to seeing how Dodie Rae combats physical abuse and how the contents of the bottle helps.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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You have turned this into a compelling story. I most like the fact that you've included a bit of mystery and suspense, and that you're calling this a horror and thriller story. I look forward to seeing how Dodie Rae combats physical abuse and how the contents of the bottle helps.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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Thank you, LJ for this excellent review. I'm trying to stay one step ahead of each chapter so I can post one a week. Then eventually a couple of them a week. I am giving myself six months to write the novel and hope to publish.
Thank you,
God bless,
Steve
Comment from Rachelle Allen
How bad am I, Newonewman: I never read this chapter before I edited your third. Now it alllllll makes sense!! We got some that Loosiana voodoo a-comin' at us, Cher!!
Great set up, very well done, with just some tweaks needed, which I'll do and forward to your email. You're setting the stage with panache and aplomb, you talented writer, you!! Love it!
xoxox
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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How bad am I, Newonewman: I never read this chapter before I edited your third. Now it alllllll makes sense!! We got some that Loosiana voodoo a-comin' at us, Cher!!
Great set up, very well done, with just some tweaks needed, which I'll do and forward to your email. You're setting the stage with panache and aplomb, you talented writer, you!! Love it!
xoxox
Comment Written 18-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2024
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LOL! My fault, I put it up before you had the chance. The reviews are certainly motivational. I wish I could do this daily, unfortunately I have to pay bills. My job demands too much of my time. Oh well, There's always retirement in six and a half years, lol. I will do my best to put a chapter together weekly, I'm working on chapter 4 now. Will once a week keep the reviewers interested? I hope so.
Also, everyone wants to know "what's in the bottle?"
Thank you for everything you do and for believing in me.
God bless,
Steve
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One chapter a week is actually PERFECT!! That's the way most members on here do this. It keeps them intrigued and it gives you time to review and accrue $$$ in your FS account so that you can publish it high on the page.
I'm happy to help, and I just now sent you the edits for Chapter Two.
You're doing great. xoxox
