Valse de poèmes
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Betrayal"inspiring poems for the souls and hearts
4 total reviews
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Oh wow, what a beautiful free verse betrayal poem. Your words glided across the page and were lovely to read. To me, this came across as fantasy mixed with reality and I thought you did a remarkable job.
My favorite line was "The demon behind the mask you wore"
Well, we have all met a few of them. LOL.
Thank you for this great piece of poetry. Being a self admitted rhymaholic, (smile) it takes a special piece for me to get into free verse, but this was really good.
Thank you for the awesome read. Love, Debi
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
  |
Oh wow, what a beautiful free verse betrayal poem. Your words glided across the page and were lovely to read. To me, this came across as fantasy mixed with reality and I thought you did a remarkable job.
My favorite line was "The demon behind the mask you wore"
Well, we have all met a few of them. LOL.
Thank you for this great piece of poetry. Being a self admitted rhymaholic, (smile) it takes a special piece for me to get into free verse, but this was really good.
Thank you for the awesome read. Love, Debi
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
-
thank you for your flattering words of appreciation of my poem, i am really glad you enjoy reading my work, your review are always priceless and encouraging to me, i cannot thank you enough :)
Take care !
Sarah
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A very strong and passionate response to betrayal. You've expressed the pain and intrusion in your life clearly and with excellent imagery (But the envious started casting a curse/They unleashed demons upon us). Ideally I would have preferred your free verse to be divided into 2 or 3 stanzas just to give the reader pause for breath. But your style and moving portrayal of this prompt are a pleasure to read. Well done, Sarah, and good luck! Debbie
|
A very strong and passionate response to betrayal. You've expressed the pain and intrusion in your life clearly and with excellent imagery (But the envious started casting a curse/They unleashed demons upon us). Ideally I would have preferred your free verse to be divided into 2 or 3 stanzas just to give the reader pause for breath. But your style and moving portrayal of this prompt are a pleasure to read. Well done, Sarah, and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
Comment from Erika Whittle
But you opened the doors to my secret garden
This is so sad. There's no worse betrayal than by someone you love. I like the imagery you use in this.
This is just my personal opinion so just ignore it if you don't like it. Personally I would reword the 3rd stanza to 'and the world around us to vanish.' And in the 2nd perhaps 'I' instead of 'And'. But it's your writing so do what feels right. Overall it's a great poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
|
But you opened the doors to my secret garden
This is so sad. There's no worse betrayal than by someone you love. I like the imagery you use in this.
This is just my personal opinion so just ignore it if you don't like it. Personally I would reword the 3rd stanza to 'and the world around us to vanish.' And in the 2nd perhaps 'I' instead of 'And'. But it's your writing so do what feels right. Overall it's a great poem.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
-
yes thanks Erika, very good advice
Comment from HarryT
An interesting way to view the destruction of exclusivity. At least that is my take on what you have written. Not matter what the poem makes the reader think. Always a good thing, in my opinion.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
|
An interesting way to view the destruction of exclusivity. At least that is my take on what you have written. Not matter what the poem makes the reader think. Always a good thing, in my opinion.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
-
It?s true Harry, thanks for your opinion and for your lovely review )
-
You are welcome. As I said, a very interesting read.