Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Chapter 13 B"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
33 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You keep up the momentum. Telling us day to day conversations without being dull and stunted is hard work. It will end soon, I can't wait to see if Sami and Noah survive the close of the case. Karen
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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You keep up the momentum. Telling us day to day conversations without being dull and stunted is hard work. It will end soon, I can't wait to see if Sami and Noah survive the close of the case. Karen
Comment Written 25-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2024
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I can't wait either. Thank you for the kind review.
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:-)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Hmm, I wonder what it is Noah doesn't want Sami to hear. Sounds like it might be dangerous. After what happened when she discovered it was Big T Noah spoke to, I'm sure she won't like what is going on now. It will be interesting to read. Well done again, Barbara. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Hmm, I wonder what it is Noah doesn't want Sami to hear. Sounds like it might be dangerous. After what happened when she discovered it was Big T Noah spoke to, I'm sure she won't like what is going on now. It will be interesting to read. Well done again, Barbara. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 19-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2024
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Well, you now know. Big T wants her. Thank you for going back and reading when no money was attached. I appreciate it.
Comment from Sanku
So they have made a plan to trap the very bad guy Hope it works well .Sami's heart is now fully with Noah. They caredeeply for each other. the story is moving well..
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2024
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So they have made a plan to trap the very bad guy Hope it works well .Sami's heart is now fully with Noah. They caredeeply for each other. the story is moving well..
Comment Written 14-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Appears Sami is quite worried about Noah's safety and, whether she wants to admit it or not, falling deeper for him.
"Nodding Sami's eyes" should be Nodding, Sami's eyes.
"Then leaned her head" would read more clearly as then she leaned her head.
So, what big secret does Noah have he wants to keep from Sami that will create "sparks between Noah and Sami"?
Dialogue seems authentic throughout the posting.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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Appears Sami is quite worried about Noah's safety and, whether she wants to admit it or not, falling deeper for him.
"Nodding Sami's eyes" should be Nodding, Sami's eyes.
"Then leaned her head" would read more clearly as then she leaned her head.
So, what big secret does Noah have he wants to keep from Sami that will create "sparks between Noah and Sami"?
Dialogue seems authentic throughout the posting.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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I've corrected the first one but still searching for the second error. I will find it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
This section is well-paced, and your characters are clearly established. It's easy to tell who is talking by the attitude and dialogue. There were only a couple of quibbles I had that could use editing: "Nodding Sami's eyes met Noah's"and "He glanced at Bob send that message..." No need to explain the problem in each case.
Looks like you've done your research on this type of operation. Good work!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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This section is well-paced, and your characters are clearly established. It's easy to tell who is talking by the attitude and dialogue. There were only a couple of quibbles I had that could use editing: "Nodding Sami's eyes met Noah's"and "He glanced at Bob send that message..." No need to explain the problem in each case.
Looks like you've done your research on this type of operation. Good work!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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Thank you for sharing this kind review. I will check that area.
Comment from Soledadpaz
My, an interesting situation here. I know I'm dropping in in the middle of things, but it certainly peaks your interest. A few thoughts.
Perhaps: Later, as they sat for lunch Noah asked, . . .
. . . when Boss makes up his mind, none of us (changes) it.
Perhaps a little more detail, maybe: She stopped at the kitchen sink and he stood behind her.
Perhaps for rhythm: But I can if you want me to.
Suggest: You flat (out) said it wasn't going to happen.
Perhaps: Again, I'll try but (no promises).
Inside (comma) Noah finished getting ready . . .
Or could delete: Inside
Suggest: Sami met him (at the door, then pushed) him back onto the porch.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Sol
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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My, an interesting situation here. I know I'm dropping in in the middle of things, but it certainly peaks your interest. A few thoughts.
Perhaps: Later, as they sat for lunch Noah asked, . . .
. . . when Boss makes up his mind, none of us (changes) it.
Perhaps a little more detail, maybe: She stopped at the kitchen sink and he stood behind her.
Perhaps for rhythm: But I can if you want me to.
Suggest: You flat (out) said it wasn't going to happen.
Perhaps: Again, I'll try but (no promises).
Inside (comma) Noah finished getting ready . . .
Or could delete: Inside
Suggest: Sami met him (at the door, then pushed) him back onto the porch.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Sol
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much for the help. I always appreciate your stopping by. I truly hope you also posted.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always a pleasure to read your story chapters and see how you will put things together and foreshadow upcoming events before they happen. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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It's always a pleasure to read your story chapters and see how you will put things together and foreshadow upcoming events before they happen. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Realist101
Excellent details! T sounds like the pimp on a great movie called True Romance. Wow....I tried to check for spags but am rusty. Looked good. And your dialog is spot on too. I sometimes feel someone might snipe me for complaining about loud flyovers. ð???
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Excellent details! T sounds like the pimp on a great movie called True Romance. Wow....I tried to check for spags but am rusty. Looked good. And your dialog is spot on too. I sometimes feel someone might snipe me for complaining about loud flyovers. ð???
Comment Written 12-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement. Welcome back. I don't remember you reviewing me for a while.
Comment from lyenochka
Sounds like Noah didn't tell everything in Sami's hearing. Maybe she had more cause for worry than he let on.
I liked how Sami and Noah ate becoming more comfortable about expressing their affection for one another!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Sounds like Noah didn't tell everything in Sami's hearing. Maybe she had more cause for worry than he let on.
I liked how Sami and Noah ate becoming more comfortable about expressing their affection for one another!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Noah and Sami still have a few difficult spells. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Barbara
Here maybe I'll try but can't promise
""Again, I'll try but not promise.""
These chapters are always interesting.You're developing the relationships quite well.
I haven't read all of the chapters. I just came back to fan story from being gone since 2019 but even though this is probably only the third chapter I've read, I'm getting an impression of each personality That is to your credit.
I enjoyed reading your story and I look forward to reading more
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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Hi, Barbara
Here maybe I'll try but can't promise
""Again, I'll try but not promise.""
These chapters are always interesting.You're developing the relationships quite well.
I haven't read all of the chapters. I just came back to fan story from being gone since 2019 but even though this is probably only the third chapter I've read, I'm getting an impression of each personality That is to your credit.
I enjoyed reading your story and I look forward to reading more
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2024
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WELCOME BACK!!! I enjoyed reading your review. I know that area is repetitive, but I need those thoughts to come across. I'll keep working on a better way to say it.