A haiku (barren desert sands)
An Ekphrastic Haiku15 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
nicely done! Artwork and color scheme work for me.
Furnished and home IMHO are good connectors, but I would substitute for furnished, which does not elevate your poetical style.
With many plurals, why not cacti instead of cactus?
Mark
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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nicely done! Artwork and color scheme work for me.
Furnished and home IMHO are good connectors, but I would substitute for furnished, which does not elevate your poetical style.
With many plurals, why not cacti instead of cactus?
Mark
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Mark, yes, I see what you mean, and I like cacti, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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groundshakiing ?
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It always amazed me how the cactus lives when other plants do not survive. These hardy plants grow tall and thrive in these conditions, a fine tribute here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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It always amazed me how the cactus lives when other plants do not survive. These hardy plants grow tall and thrive in these conditions, a fine tribute here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Yes, they a bit of a wonder, thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from zaraduck6
This was a wonderfully done haiku! I love the use of lowercase letters and word choice. If I may ask, are there supposed to be 8 syllables in the second line? Or perhaps this is a structure I am unaware of?
Either way, it was a wonderfully done poem, and I also really love the artwork!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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This was a wonderfully done haiku! I love the use of lowercase letters and word choice. If I may ask, are there supposed to be 8 syllables in the second line? Or perhaps this is a structure I am unaware of?
Either way, it was a wonderfully done poem, and I also really love the artwork!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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OOps, I keep changing the words, and forget about the syllables, thanks for the pickup, and many thanks for your wonderful review, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Of course!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation, kahpot.
-A good haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery with the barren sands and the cactus.
-A very good second line that speaks of the glory in this view.
-A very good satori line.
-Thanks for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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-Very nice artwork and presentation, kahpot.
-A good haiku with a good topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery with the barren sands and the cactus.
-A very good second line that speaks of the glory in this view.
-A very good satori line.
-Thanks for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are very welcome.
Comment from June Sargent
Even a desert can produce fruitage. Some cacti have beautiful blossoms. They do deserve a little respect and praise. Nice ekphrastic haiku to highlight their resilience.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Even a desert can produce fruitage. Some cacti have beautiful blossoms. They do deserve a little respect and praise. Nice ekphrastic haiku to highlight their resilience.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Lovely ekphrastic haiku about deserts and cactus
Excellent presentation and word imagery.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis  Â
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Lovely ekphrastic haiku about deserts and cactus
Excellent presentation and word imagery.
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis  Â
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Marival, I did edit the middle line "soaked" did not fit I don't think, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Sorry, Marival, I meant to say and inquire earlier, this one was not in a contest, I was humming and erring, whether it was suitable for the summer haiku challenge, and again forgot to ask
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Oh sorry, I thought it was a contest, my fault.
This could have been good for the club but it doesn't have to be, it's a good summer haiku no matter what.
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I do that to. I write intuitive without much thought
Comment from Begin Again
Even featured in black and white the photo is a stunning reminder that plant life has its struggles too as it works its way through the hard ground to stand tall and beautiful.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Even featured in black and white the photo is a stunning reminder that plant life has its struggles too as it works its way through the hard ground to stand tall and beautiful.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Carol, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
barren desert sands
soaked in groundbreaking glory ~
home of the cactus
These are so very frustrating to do. Awesome job. Best of luck going forward.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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barren desert sands
soaked in groundbreaking glory ~
home of the cactus
These are so very frustrating to do. Awesome job. Best of luck going forward.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, kahpot
Betttr correct your title. It has only one r. Baren is what you have
I'm not sure you have a good satori line. I can't think of anything better so I'll leave it alone. I just thought of something. It should be a surprise
Cacti drink their fill
Do you see the difference?
I used to live in the Sonoran desert. We had prickly pear cactus. We had saguaro cactus. Saguaros only grows in the Sonoran desert which spans US and Mexico
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Hi, kahpot
Betttr correct your title. It has only one r. Baren is what you have
I'm not sure you have a good satori line. I can't think of anything better so I'll leave it alone. I just thought of something. It should be a surprise
Cacti drink their fill
Do you see the difference?
I used to live in the Sonoran desert. We had prickly pear cactus. We had saguaro cactus. Saguaros only grows in the Sonoran desert which spans US and Mexico
Good job. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your encouraging comments and very helpful suggestions, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Barren Desert Sands, has the proper formatting and gives due praise to the will and strength of this pioneering plant which draws all power from around it and presents it to the challenging world above.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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This 5-7-5, Barren Desert Sands, has the proper formatting and gives due praise to the will and strength of this pioneering plant which draws all power from around it and presents it to the challenging world above.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
