My Holiday
Frozen in Time (A short story)12 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, you made me smile with your humour here and winter is something I try and escape as I hate the cold and it encourages me to hibernate! A fun read, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Ha ha ha, you made me smile with your humour here and winter is something I try and escape as I hate the cold and it encourages me to hibernate! A fun read, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 06-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2024
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Thank you, glad you got a chuckle, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Wendy G
Yep, it is starting to get quite cold here too. Night temperatures in particular. I don't mind the cold if the sun is shining, but on cold grey windy days it's hard to get warm. But we don't have to worry about ice or snow over here. Add a full stop after "FREEZE" to finish the sentence.
Thanks for sharing.
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Yep, it is starting to get quite cold here too. Night temperatures in particular. I don't mind the cold if the sun is shining, but on cold grey windy days it's hard to get warm. But we don't have to worry about ice or snow over here. Add a full stop after "FREEZE" to finish the sentence.
Thanks for sharing.
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much, Wendy, me and my mom are here on Kangaroo Island, a wee bit nippy for me, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Ah yes, no wonder you are cold! The wind is blowing straight up from Antarctica!!
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You got it
Comment from jmdg1954
and the walking dead don't leave their graves...
This is a great line which makes one think of just how cold it actually is.
Very humorous. It gave me a smile as I read it.?
Thank you Kahpot for writing this and sharing.
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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and the walking dead don't leave their graves...
This is a great line which makes one think of just how cold it actually is.
Very humorous. It gave me a smile as I read it.?
Thank you Kahpot for writing this and sharing.
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2024
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Thank you, John, for your wonderful and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from royowen
I had to have a giggle at your sense of humour dear friend, Elaine and I once holidayed in Russia, by in the summer, we were sipping coffee at 11:pm at night in broad daylight, within the arctic circle, I wonder what it's like in winter? Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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I had to have a giggle at your sense of humour dear friend, Elaine and I once holidayed in Russia, by in the summer, we were sipping coffee at 11:pm at night in broad daylight, within the arctic circle, I wonder what it's like in winter? Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Roy, that would have been quite strange I think, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Well done
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
"the walking dead don't leave their graves" hahaha i love it. So when your weather is cold my weather is hot, it seems like we are in opposing seasons. You write prose well. But I can relate, prose is not my forte but it's good to practice, that is how we get better. (*=*)
Well done,
gypsy
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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"the walking dead don't leave their graves" hahaha i love it. So when your weather is cold my weather is hot, it seems like we are in opposing seasons. You write prose well. But I can relate, prose is not my forte but it's good to practice, that is how we get better. (*=*)
Well done,
gypsy
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much, yes, the "neverseen" certainly travels a lot, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, kahpot
I got a little lost here
"But the weather, let me tell you, it's that bloody cold the cat's can't ". Maybe a different preposition. So vs that. Maybe you're a Brit. I would say it should be like this
But the weather, let me tell you, it's so bloody cold the cat's can't
I must say I'm glad for any night that the walking dead can't roam. Hahaha
I think you need some punctuation. It is hard to figure out the sentences (.) would help. Sometimes you need (,) because it makes the reader pause which causes the next word to begin a phrase.
Here, I'll give an example
Your version
"There is no-one around (even if there was you could'nt see them) leaving the house at midday you need a flashlight."
For one thing it should be him not them. No one is singular
Is leaving the house at midday a new sentence? I think it is. A new sentence would capitalize the first letter.
I don't want to be too hard on you since you are new to prose. You can take a lot more liberties in a poem than you should in a story. Run-on sentences dropped, participles, etc. are all OK in a poem but not in a story.
Good effort. I hope I helped. I can see that you were channeling this.
Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Hi, kahpot
I got a little lost here
"But the weather, let me tell you, it's that bloody cold the cat's can't ". Maybe a different preposition. So vs that. Maybe you're a Brit. I would say it should be like this
But the weather, let me tell you, it's so bloody cold the cat's can't
I must say I'm glad for any night that the walking dead can't roam. Hahaha
I think you need some punctuation. It is hard to figure out the sentences (.) would help. Sometimes you need (,) because it makes the reader pause which causes the next word to begin a phrase.
Here, I'll give an example
Your version
"There is no-one around (even if there was you could'nt see them) leaving the house at midday you need a flashlight."
For one thing it should be him not them. No one is singular
Is leaving the house at midday a new sentence? I think it is. A new sentence would capitalize the first letter.
I don't want to be too hard on you since you are new to prose. You can take a lot more liberties in a poem than you should in a story. Run-on sentences dropped, participles, etc. are all OK in a poem but not in a story.
Good effort. I hope I helped. I can see that you were channeling this.
Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much, yes, I am keeping all your suggestions for reference, the more I read them the better understanding I get, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for this most interesting weather report. I hope you got some warm tea and and reaffixed your lips! I did not know it got that cold there! We have seasons when we find that golden sky globe is "neverseen". Enjoyed your humor!
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you for this most interesting weather report. I hope you got some warm tea and and reaffixed your lips! I did not know it got that cold there! We have seasons when we find that golden sky globe is "neverseen". Enjoyed your humor!
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful comments and support, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from patcelaw
Here where I live in Arizona, the weather is going to be about 110° today but it's a very dry heat so it's probably not gonna feel more than 100. I enjoyed your bit of humor and I hope you will continue to write these lovely things. Patric.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Here where I live in Arizona, the weather is going to be about 110° today but it's a very dry heat so it's probably not gonna feel more than 100. I enjoyed your bit of humor and I hope you will continue to write these lovely things. Patric.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
This is so entertaining! I like the pace of the story that slowly paints a picture of a frozen tundra. I expected to see a mammoth amidst the icy terrain. The never seen obviously never shines in your neck of the woods...a fun read!
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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This is so entertaining! I like the pace of the story that slowly paints a picture of a frozen tundra. I expected to see a mammoth amidst the icy terrain. The never seen obviously never shines in your neck of the woods...a fun read!
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much, (a mammoth) what a great idea, it would be at home here, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, My Holiday, is rich with humorous observations about the "neverseen" that I will definitely never see. This would fit well into a tourist brochure for another country. : )
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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This story, My Holiday, is rich with humorous observations about the "neverseen" that I will definitely never see. This would fit well into a tourist brochure for another country. : )
Comment Written 04-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2024
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Thank you, Bill, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
