Jersey's World
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "JW - Part 1"A stripper and a murder.
2 total reviews
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, teols
How exciting! A new novella.
I think this is well written. I saw one question and one fanstory gremlin. The are listed at the bottom of my review.
Paige is an interesting (and well developed) character. The other characters are superfluous so far. Just wanted to let you know what I thought. I look forward to more!!
" Jersey had lightly-tanned skin and her tattoos contrasted well against this canvas, further enticing people who looked at her."
Should it be enticing people to look at her?
Well done. Thank you for sharing.
I think the fanstory got you here
" . Want to keep this good thing going. You'll have to use your imagination. ð???"
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2024
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Hi, teols
How exciting! A new novella.
I think this is well written. I saw one question and one fanstory gremlin. The are listed at the bottom of my review.
Paige is an interesting (and well developed) character. The other characters are superfluous so far. Just wanted to let you know what I thought. I look forward to more!!
" Jersey had lightly-tanned skin and her tattoos contrasted well against this canvas, further enticing people who looked at her."
Should it be enticing people to look at her?
Well done. Thank you for sharing.
I think the fanstory got you here
" . Want to keep this good thing going. You'll have to use your imagination. ð???"
Comment Written 03-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2024
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Thank you kindly.
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
The Topaz Gentlemen's Lounge was a decent place to work. In fact, it was one of the most respectable and elegant nude clubs in Las Vegas, sacrificing some dancing space for a steakhouse customers could patronize when not taking in the female form.
Well isn't that a unique idea?
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2024
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The Topaz Gentlemen's Lounge was a decent place to work. In fact, it was one of the most respectable and elegant nude clubs in Las Vegas, sacrificing some dancing space for a steakhouse customers could patronize when not taking in the female form.
Well isn't that a unique idea?
Comment Written 03-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2024
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It might have kind-of been done already. Haven't been able to fund a trip to check. ;)
