Pause For A Moment
Pause and reflect on everything.4 total reviews
Comment from Barry Penfold
I like the thrust of this poem. Pause for a moment is very appropriate, especially with the world in such a state of dispute and uncertainty. A different formatting but I get the message loud and clear. Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a wonderful day despite the uncertainly that surrounds us all.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
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I like the thrust of this poem. Pause for a moment is very appropriate, especially with the world in such a state of dispute and uncertainty. A different formatting but I get the message loud and clear. Thanks for sharing. Take care and have a wonderful day despite the uncertainly that surrounds us all.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Your poem really hits home with its honest reflection on modern struggles. The raw emotions and vivid imagery you use are powerful and engaging. To make it even stronger, you might want to simplify some of the lines for clarity and ensure a consistent tone throughout. The flow could be smoother with a few adjustments to the transitions between stanzas. Overall, you've captured a deep and relatable sentiment, and with a bit of tweaking, it could shine even brighter. Keep up the great work--your voice comes through strongly, and that's what makes it impactful.
Ex: Instead of "Living with adrenaline because the trill comes natrually," you might try "Living on adrenaline, where the thrill feels natural." It's a bit clearer and keeps the same vibe.
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Your poem really hits home with its honest reflection on modern struggles. The raw emotions and vivid imagery you use are powerful and engaging. To make it even stronger, you might want to simplify some of the lines for clarity and ensure a consistent tone throughout. The flow could be smoother with a few adjustments to the transitions between stanzas. Overall, you've captured a deep and relatable sentiment, and with a bit of tweaking, it could shine even brighter. Keep up the great work--your voice comes through strongly, and that's what makes it impactful.
Ex: Instead of "Living with adrenaline because the trill comes natrually," you might try "Living on adrenaline, where the thrill feels natural." It's a bit clearer and keeps the same vibe.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2024
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Daniel
I agree completely. We are in bad shape. Corporate greed is the big issue. Plus polititions and regulators scratching the backs of both.
I enjoyed your essay
Thank you for sharing
Did you mean thrill
" Living with adrenaline because the trill comes natrually. "
What does spaving mean?
" Spaving the savings and going nuts. Speaking the truth so"
Ran out of luck?
" when dropping the clutch. Lost your grip so much that you can out of luck"
Did you mean bled here?
" used to believe. I've bleed for most of the things I achieved. "
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Hi, Daniel
I agree completely. We are in bad shape. Corporate greed is the big issue. Plus polititions and regulators scratching the backs of both.
I enjoyed your essay
Thank you for sharing
Did you mean thrill
" Living with adrenaline because the trill comes natrually. "
What does spaving mean?
" Spaving the savings and going nuts. Speaking the truth so"
Ran out of luck?
" when dropping the clutch. Lost your grip so much that you can out of luck"
Did you mean bled here?
" used to believe. I've bleed for most of the things I achieved. "
Comment Written 03-Jun-2024
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
This is pretty strong overall. I feel like a graphic would do a lot of good.
"Dopamine doesn't know what's good for us. Joy is temporary like a grudge. Chasing pleasure just because. "
That's the truth!
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This is pretty strong overall. I feel like a graphic would do a lot of good.
"Dopamine doesn't know what's good for us. Joy is temporary like a grudge. Chasing pleasure just because. "
That's the truth!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2024