Transition
The Beloved of God2 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you give us both sides of eternity. From Earth people grieve the loved one's passing but in Heaven, there is much joy welcoming them Home.
I don't know the sedoka form but the notes say: " Each one has a syllable count of 5/5/7" Your stanzas are 5/7/7 - is that an option?
Grammar point: "With much tears they came, " (much grief or many tears)
tears are countable so you would use "many"
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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I like how you give us both sides of eternity. From Earth people grieve the loved one's passing but in Heaven, there is much joy welcoming them Home.
I don't know the sedoka form but the notes say: " Each one has a syllable count of 5/5/7" Your stanzas are 5/7/7 - is that an option?
Grammar point: "With much tears they came, " (much grief or many tears)
tears are countable so you would use "many"
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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The correct syllable count for a Sedoka poem is 5/7/7. The contest creator had made a mistake in her notes and tried to correct it on the contest page. See my author notes. Thanks for the grammar edit suggestion. I changed it to much grief. Thank you so much for your kind, constructive review--highly appreciated.
Comment from Bill Schott
This sedoka, Transitions, has the proper formatting and compares the sad crowd that gathers to send us on our way to glory, and the heavenly hosts who greet the new arrival.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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This sedoka, Transitions, has the proper formatting and compares the sad crowd that gathers to send us on our way to glory, and the heavenly hosts who greet the new arrival.
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Thank you for your kind review!