The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 24"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
14 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
I love this chapter. Things are finally proceeding in the right direction. You are doing amazing with this ghost story. Way to go, my friend. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
  |
I love this chapter. Things are finally proceeding in the right direction. You are doing amazing with this ghost story. Way to go, my friend. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Hello, April...It's got its ups and downs which I hope keeps you entertained. Now I hope we can get enough information from William so the treasure hunt can begin and our ghosts can be redeemed.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Holy emotional chapter, Carol! Lot's of action and a culmination of mom and son reunited and a whisper of recognition (and love) from William's lips. Victoria is as evil as the bad witch in OZ. (I considered grabbing a pail of water but, alas, would have shorted out my laptop)--
I've been away but I'm SO glad I got to catch up with this chapter!
Bravo!
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
Holy emotional chapter, Carol! Lot's of action and a culmination of mom and son reunited and a whisper of recognition (and love) from William's lips. Victoria is as evil as the bad witch in OZ. (I considered grabbing a pail of water but, alas, would have shorted out my laptop)--
I've been away but I'm SO glad I got to catch up with this chapter!
Bravo!
Karenina
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Here I was thinking I hadn't heard from you and was worried...but actually I am the one behind and you've not heard from me. Victoria crossed the line and realized it a bit too late. Glad to see you and know I still can entertain your imagination. I can picture Victoria disappearing in a puff of steam and smoke...oh wait! I think I actually did do that. LOL
Smiles, Carol
-
Oh, you know...I'm here for five hours then off for three days. (Life!)
I catch up...eventually!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Once Esther stands up for herself against Victoria, who hates her because William never stopped loving her, death becomes much more pleasant. Esther has her son back again and the two of them may succeed in bringing back William.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
Once Esther stands up for herself against Victoria, who hates her because William never stopped loving her, death becomes much more pleasant. Esther has her son back again and the two of them may succeed in bringing back William.
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
I think Esther and Will have a bright future, especially when Esther connects the dots about Billy as well. Now we must hope for William to help with those dots.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Esther Brown
Great job Carol. You are a master at suspense and keeping your reader guessing. I get the feeling all the good guys end up being redeemed. Just like people, most of them have dark secrets they hide, and we get a choice. Esther
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
 |
Great job Carol. You are a master at suspense and keeping your reader guessing. I get the feeling all the good guys end up being redeemed. Just like people, most of them have dark secrets they hide, and we get a choice. Esther
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
Don't we all? I doubt that anyone reveals all their most deepest and darkest secrets. Don't we have to reserve something that belongs just to us? Thanks for the awesome review and the stars. Appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Very dramatic and also very engrossing. This chapter clearly delineates the character of each of the women, and fills in the background as to their lives and aspirations. Hoping William will know again the love of Esther and that the three of them will be together again and redeemed. Well written. Eerie and haunting, but very moving as well.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
Very dramatic and also very engrossing. This chapter clearly delineates the character of each of the women, and fills in the background as to their lives and aspirations. Hoping William will know again the love of Esther and that the three of them will be together again and redeemed. Well written. Eerie and haunting, but very moving as well.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
Thanks, Wendy. I think Victoria's heart might have been in the right place at one time, but her desire to be rich and powerful took the lead at some point in time. What a shame...Thanks for the review and comments.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Well, I'm still not into ghost stories. But you sure made a touching scene here. Despite what these beings are, you have set the scene and background to me us care about the characters and really cheer for this family to be finally reunited despite the efforts of the evil Victoria.
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
Well, I'm still not into ghost stories. But you sure made a touching scene here. Despite what these beings are, you have set the scene and background to me us care about the characters and really cheer for this family to be finally reunited despite the efforts of the evil Victoria.
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
I'm not sure I like ghost stories either...LOL but I suppose that's why I make them seem like mortals with emotions and deep feelings at times. Glad you enjoyed this one.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have become extremely good at describing very imaginative and chilling ghostly scenes, like darkening rooms, and "eerie voices lining the walls and ceiling." I could almost hear them speaking in a hushed confusing mumble. Plus, there is lots of conflict and fights between the ghosts. But it was a tender moment when Will entered the room and called out to his mother. Hopefully, the three of them can come together and stop Victoria.
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
You have become extremely good at describing very imaginative and chilling ghostly scenes, like darkening rooms, and "eerie voices lining the walls and ceiling." I could almost hear them speaking in a hushed confusing mumble. Plus, there is lots of conflict and fights between the ghosts. But it was a tender moment when Will entered the room and called out to his mother. Hopefully, the three of them can come together and stop Victoria.
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
Hello, Lorraine
You know me...it's not a story unless I touch the reader's heart at least briefly...Can't have all eerie sounds and creepy stuff. Though you'll get your share of that in the next chapter. Thanks for the awesome review and the stars. Your comments are greatly appreciated as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Oh, the drama of ghosts! Really high excitement and anxiety and resolution. I like the scene where Victoria makes everything swirl around the room in her unhinged jealousy!
A few comments:
The flames flickered, almost distinguishing, as a cold draft swirled around the room.
(Do you mean 'extinguishing'?)
Ceasing the upper hand, Victoria's hand twisted violently in the air,
(I don't know what 'ceasing the upper hand' means here)
Bludgeon me if you must, but that won't get you, his love.
(No comma...get you his love.)
Lovely chapter!
Julie
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
Oh, the drama of ghosts! Really high excitement and anxiety and resolution. I like the scene where Victoria makes everything swirl around the room in her unhinged jealousy!
A few comments:
The flames flickered, almost distinguishing, as a cold draft swirled around the room.
(Do you mean 'extinguishing'?)
Ceasing the upper hand, Victoria's hand twisted violently in the air,
(I don't know what 'ceasing the upper hand' means here)
Bludgeon me if you must, but that won't get you, his love.
(No comma...get you his love.)
Lovely chapter!
Julie
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
My brain must have been fried....Thanks Julie for pointing these two words used in error out to me. I read and reread but never once realized what I had done. Fixed and I appreciate your help.
Thanks for the review and comments as well.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
A bit of a malevolent being is Victoria is she not? But Sebastian is making up the difference, it proves that love truly wants good good things for the object of affection. I like the way you have written this with all the objectivity of someone who knows the gambit of emotions, well done Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
A bit of a malevolent being is Victoria is she not? But Sebastian is making up the difference, it proves that love truly wants good good things for the object of affection. I like the way you have written this with all the objectivity of someone who knows the gambit of emotions, well done Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
Thank you so much, Roy. I would be lost if I couldn't put a lot of emotions in my characters, searching for the best of course. LOL Appreciate the review.
Smiles, Carol
-
Well done
-
Thank you!
-
Welcome
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am betting William makes at least a partial recovery. I do really like this story.
She paused, and her voice quivered when she spoke again. (again,)
unable to look at Sebastian, her words tinged with longing. (longing,)
She glanced toward Sebastian before she continued. "Not this time. (time,)
She bent down and whispered in his ear. "Fight, William. (ear,)
Victoria's icy voice cracked as she threatened Esther. "You'll not have him." (Esther,)
She struggled to speak. "You remember --" (speak,)
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
|
I am betting William makes at least a partial recovery. I do really like this story.
She paused, and her voice quivered when she spoke again. (again,)
unable to look at Sebastian, her words tinged with longing. (longing,)
She glanced toward Sebastian before she continued. "Not this time. (time,)
She bent down and whispered in his ear. "Fight, William. (ear,)
Victoria's icy voice cracked as she threatened Esther. "You'll not have him." (Esther,)
She struggled to speak. "You remember --" (speak,)
Comment Written 25-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
-
What can I say? Every time I think I have it right...I am wrong. Thank you as always...though I did nave a bit of difficulty finding them this time. But all is done and fixed.
Thanks as always for the help and the review.
Smiles, Carol
-
I wrote you a long comment and guess what...I didn't save it and now I find you here waiting patiently for me to respond. Sorry for the delay. Thank you as always.
Smiles, Carol