I Choose Rainbows
Viewing comments for Chapter 214 "Perception "Thoughts from the dark side
2 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is an original and interesting free verse about being born. I like the way you write it from the baby's perspective and the shape of your verse seems to reflect the journey you're on. Ideally, I think this could have been a little shorter outlining the development so that the impact is sustained. The later introduction of the name is clever because we see a proper identity forming, albeit I didn't anticipate it to be that of the Messiah! So you know how to spring a surprise for your reader! Thanks for sharing Debbie
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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This is an original and interesting free verse about being born. I like the way you write it from the baby's perspective and the shape of your verse seems to reflect the journey you're on. Ideally, I think this could have been a little shorter outlining the development so that the impact is sustained. The later introduction of the name is clever because we see a proper identity forming, albeit I didn't anticipate it to be that of the Messiah! So you know how to spring a surprise for your reader! Thanks for sharing Debbie
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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I?m in the process of finalizing poems for a book. It?s over 350 pages.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, sholessjo. I was not expecting that ending!! It is powerful. Why the name Norman. Is there a Norman in the Bible?
I like the style of the poem, bringing a baby from the womb to the Earth. And yes, they do learn and grow very fast. My little brother was talking fluently by 18 months old. He could hum happy birthday when he was nine months old he used to hum while the rest of us sang.
Very sweet and cute.
Great job! Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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Hi, sholessjo. I was not expecting that ending!! It is powerful. Why the name Norman. Is there a Norman in the Bible?
I like the style of the poem, bringing a baby from the womb to the Earth. And yes, they do learn and grow very fast. My little brother was talking fluently by 18 months old. He could hum happy birthday when he was nine months old he used to hum while the rest of us sang.
Very sweet and cute.
Great job! Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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My name is Norman.
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Ahhh. So, you are the messiah. Every newborn could become one. Thank you