The Spider
Spiders are a huge fear of mine!5 total reviews
Comment from CornishChick
I decided to take 2 courage pills and read your entry on "Spider". How apropos! Delivers all the angst most of us feel when we encounter one, or two, or 20! I especially loved the moonlight "Enhancing your shadow! Fears make things appear larger and you captured that nicely!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2024
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I decided to take 2 courage pills and read your entry on "Spider". How apropos! Delivers all the angst most of us feel when we encounter one, or two, or 20! I especially loved the moonlight "Enhancing your shadow! Fears make things appear larger and you captured that nicely!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2024
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Thank you for the great review! I really hate spiders, especially when they are dangling above my head!
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This morning, as I went out front to inspect my flowerbeds, I almost walked into the web of a 3" spider! I grunted, apologized, then applied my broom. I wonder if the neighbors shook their heads a crazy lady swinging a boom midair!
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Oh how funny! A three inch spider sounds pretty horrifying. Yikes!
Comment from karenina
I have arachnophobia! You couldn't have picked a more fitting subject for this writer!
Nothing worse than spying one and then (gasp) losing it and knowing it is lingering somewhere ready to pounce!
You shifted perpesctivces from the first four lines to the rest of the poem.
"Your looming form suddenly shifts as the bright moonlight enlarges your shadow,
I stare, and fear pulsates as my vision warps your presence."
From there you move to a third-person observation...
One suggestion might be to change "your" to "the" looming form... "the" presence...
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I have arachnophobia! You couldn't have picked a more fitting subject for this writer!
Nothing worse than spying one and then (gasp) losing it and knowing it is lingering somewhere ready to pounce!
You shifted perpesctivces from the first four lines to the rest of the poem.
"Your looming form suddenly shifts as the bright moonlight enlarges your shadow,
I stare, and fear pulsates as my vision warps your presence."
From there you move to a third-person observation...
One suggestion might be to change "your" to "the" looming form... "the" presence...
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Thanks for noticing my change in perspectives. I will definitely learn from you! Thanks for sharing your helpful comments!
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My pleasure... I enjoy your work!
Comment from tempeste
Ciao mystery poet, you now have 6 votes.
In general I don't fear spiders. If I find one in the house I catch it in a glass and return it outside.
Maybe, if I lived in a country where spiders can grow as big as a hand, I would think differently.
So I guess you are wondering why I gave you my votes.... simply because I enjoyed reading your poem... I love the word choice.
The artwork is cool too.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Ciao mystery poet, you now have 6 votes.
In general I don't fear spiders. If I find one in the house I catch it in a glass and return it outside.
Maybe, if I lived in a country where spiders can grow as big as a hand, I would think differently.
So I guess you are wondering why I gave you my votes.... simply because I enjoyed reading your poem... I love the word choice.
The artwork is cool too.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
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Thanks so much for the nice review! Glad you enjoyed reading it!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought you did a wonderful job of showing us a moment of intense fear! You did such a good job of painting a picture of the encounter with the spider. Loved your word choices especially "throne of webs" and "tightly grabbing octopus". Perfect! The suspenseful buildup and unexpected twist at the end will leave a lasting impact.
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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I thought you did a wonderful job of showing us a moment of intense fear! You did such a good job of painting a picture of the encounter with the spider. Loved your word choices especially "throne of webs" and "tightly grabbing octopus". Perfect! The suspenseful buildup and unexpected twist at the end will leave a lasting impact.
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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I really love and appreciate your review! Thanks so much!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I feel you, mystery poet!! I feel you. Even living on a farm, and knowing the good they do, I still can't make that connection!! You did a wonderful job with your well written poem of aptly conveying your feeling and fears and of reminding us of ours.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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I feel you, mystery poet!! I feel you. Even living on a farm, and knowing the good they do, I still can't make that connection!! You did a wonderful job with your well written poem of aptly conveying your feeling and fears and of reminding us of ours.
Best of luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my poem! I really appreciate it!