River
A ten word poem2 total reviews
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like how you chose words that bring the sounds of what is being written about on each line. The rhythm of the first line sounds like water dropping over rocks. The second line has words that are longer, stretching like the river. Good job.
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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I like how you chose words that bring the sounds of what is being written about on each line. The rhythm of the first line sounds like water dropping over rocks. The second line has words that are longer, stretching like the river. Good job.
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
With kind regards
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I would love to have seen a picture here to complement your fine verse which is vividly expressed in this very limited word count. The only thing I would say is that the prompt is 'under' 10 and perhaps you could omit 'its' from the second line which isn't really necessary and is repeated in the third line. This would give your poem a much more compact form, unfettered by that extra pronoun. I would also adjust the punctuation in the first line. This would all, I'm sure, perfect what could well be a strong entry. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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I would love to have seen a picture here to complement your fine verse which is vividly expressed in this very limited word count. The only thing I would say is that the prompt is 'under' 10 and perhaps you could omit 'its' from the second line which isn't really necessary and is repeated in the third line. This would give your poem a much more compact form, unfettered by that extra pronoun. I would also adjust the punctuation in the first line. This would all, I'm sure, perfect what could well be a strong entry. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 20-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work.
Thank you also for the helpful suggestions.
With kind regards