Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

This was a very sad chapter, but with amazing imagery. Their mother was desperately wishing she could go back home to be with all her friends, and the parties, and then the car accident. The poor family have gone through so much, and it looks as if things will not be getting any better.

I'm really enjoying your story, Joan, I'm glad I have another chapter or two to read. I just noticed those two nits below, otherwise it was perfect. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

...clothes and other good (food?) we needed,

Since the farmhouse wasn't big enough to throw the lavish (parties/balls) my mom

 Comment Written 21-May-2024

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reply by the author on 21-May-2024

Thanks for the constructive criticism. I am happy you are enjoying the story.
Joan

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

I would not have commented on CHap 2 if I had read Chap 1 first but it was the order in which I received them, and Chapter one explained where and how the ferfuffle began. Good luck in your journey.

 Comment Written 19-May-2024

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reply by the author on 19-May-2024

Thanks for reading both chapters, Tom. I wrote the chapter in the order the ideas came. Sometimes not in correct order. I am now trying to get them into a book format with all the chapters in the correct order. I am not used to writing prose.
Joan.

Comment from LeeAnna

Excellent

This chapter is great! Your writing shows the challenges the family faced when leaving the city life. I like how you share the the unexpected tragedies that can occur along life's journey. The detailed descriptions of the farmhouse, the farm activities, and the relationships within the family make this feel so real. The way she bravely tried to help her mother in the midst of the chaos was touching! That was so sad!

 Comment Written 19-May-2024

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reply by the author on 19-May-2024

Thanks for reading and reviewing this part of my story. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Joan

Comment from Michael Ludwinder

Excellent

I enjoyed your story. You show the challenges faced by this family so well. The initial move due to the father's health sets the stage for the story. Your descriptions are excellent. I could see the farmhouse and its surroundings. I think you've shared what it is like to live a rural life and the tasks required to maintain a farm. It's unfortunate that this family had so much hardship. But it was an enjoyable story.

 Comment Written 19-May-2024

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reply by the author on 19-May-2024

Thanks, Michael for reading. This actually isn't the first chapter. There are three chapters before this called The Early Years.
Joan