Stirring up visions
A Potlatch Club entry20 total reviews
Comment from E.P. Mackey
Clever use of the French language :) I really liked the image of a stormy sea your poem evoked. Liked the image you chose as well, reminds me of an old fairytale.
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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Clever use of the French language :) I really liked the image of a stormy sea your poem evoked. Liked the image you chose as well, reminds me of an old fairytale.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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E.P. Thank you!
Comment from Idawiesenfeld
Beautiful. You wrote it in a fun rhyme that almost links to the twirling thoughts. Putting an audio of the sea is a great idea and the picture is fabulous. Great work! Keep writing!
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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Beautiful. You wrote it in a fun rhyme that almost links to the twirling thoughts. Putting an audio of the sea is a great idea and the picture is fabulous. Great work! Keep writing!
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 16-May-2024
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Ida, thank you and may you be well throughout each day!
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jim
This poem follows this new form well. Sometimes thrills come when we don't want them.
Nice artwork accompanying the poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your werk.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Hi Jim
This poem follows this new form well. Sometimes thrills come when we don't want them.
Nice artwork accompanying the poem.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Enjoy the rest of your werk.
Joan
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thank you Joan.
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My pleasure, Jim.
Joan
Comment from GoWiSt
Interesting complementary picture art choice.
Good imagery, as I was virtually transported into the scene at the sea.
"fille" I just looked up this word, which means girl, daighter or young lady (originally translated from French). Thanks for the education. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Interesting complementary picture art choice.
Good imagery, as I was virtually transported into the scene at the sea.
"fille" I just looked up this word, which means girl, daighter or young lady (originally translated from French). Thanks for the education. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thank you.
Comment from Julie Helms
What a beautiful effect this poem has. I was considering giving the Zeno a shot, so wanted to see some examples. Your poem has an ethereal and timeless quality to it.
Beautifully done!
Julie
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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What a beautiful effect this poem has. I was considering giving the Zeno a shot, so wanted to see some examples. Your poem has an ethereal and timeless quality to it.
Beautifully done!
Julie
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Julie, I am grateful for your nice comments. Thank you!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork, presentation, and
the addition of the sounds of the sea.
-You wrote a good poem about it.
-A very good opening verse
showing how the wind was
provoking you so you chose to sit still.
-I like the use of "twirl" to describe your thoughts.
-A very good second verse showing
that the wait was worth it.
-Very well done.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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-Very nice artwork, presentation, and
the addition of the sounds of the sea.
-You wrote a good poem about it.
-A very good opening verse
showing how the wind was
provoking you so you chose to sit still.
-I like the use of "twirl" to describe your thoughts.
-A very good second verse showing
that the wait was worth it.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Pam, thank you!
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You are welcome, Jim.
Comment from Begin Again
I find so much peace when I sit by the water, whether it is the riverbank in my backyard or the beach by the sea. It's a place to relax, let your mind travel and find peace. Your poem does just that.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I find so much peace when I sit by the water, whether it is the riverbank in my backyard or the beach by the sea. It's a place to relax, let your mind travel and find peace. Your poem does just that.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Carol, thank you!
Comment from Wendy G
I like the contrast between the person sitting still, by the sea, when a young woman appears and her surprising appearance is also reflected by a tumultuous wind and his thoughts beginning to swirl and thrill. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I like the contrast between the person sitting still, by the sea, when a young woman appears and her surprising appearance is also reflected by a tumultuous wind and his thoughts beginning to swirl and thrill. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Wendy, thank you!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I do like the feel of this Zenopoem JLR with the blustery winds and twirling thoughts then the thrill of the mermaid. Your 421 lines are a bit out of wack but it doesn't deter from the read. Love cleo's artwork too.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I do like the feel of this Zenopoem JLR with the blustery winds and twirling thoughts then the thrill of the mermaid. Your 421 lines are a bit out of wack but it doesn't deter from the read. Love cleo's artwork too.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thanks Valda
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting choice of words to rhyme - like the French word for girl or daughter "fille" - you showed me the English meaning and rhymed it well with "still" and "thrill." I liked the contrast of the blustery wind and sitting still.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Interesting choice of words to rhyme - like the French word for girl or daughter "fille" - you showed me the English meaning and rhymed it well with "still" and "thrill." I liked the contrast of the blustery wind and sitting still.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Helen,thank you!