Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Right in the Eye, ch 22"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
9 total reviews
Comment from Jim Wile
The tension is mounting now as the mob is getting serious about their threat, though why they have such a strong desire to get these old folks I'm not sure of.
And what exactly was Albion's expression when he turned away that Ben and Sylvia were worried about? He seemed to lead them in the direction he wanted, so what could he have been thinking?
This should be an interesting final couple of chapters.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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The tension is mounting now as the mob is getting serious about their threat, though why they have such a strong desire to get these old folks I'm not sure of.
And what exactly was Albion's expression when he turned away that Ben and Sylvia were worried about? He seemed to lead them in the direction he wanted, so what could he have been thinking?
This should be an interesting final couple of chapters.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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smiley face here
Thanks. I'll be anxious to hear your take on the plot development.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ben and Sylvia have made some really bad enemies for simply being good people. There isn't any reason to hope the bad guys will just go away. Sadly, Ben lost his mother's house to arsonists.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Ben and Sylvia have made some really bad enemies for simply being good people. There isn't any reason to hope the bad guys will just go away. Sadly, Ben lost his mother's house to arsonists.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Ben Paul has his father's faith and courage, although a different (but equally valid) ministry, and Sylvia's faith is growing in leaps and bounds. I am sure they will be protected, and once more, glory will be to God's name. Another fine chapter.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Ben Paul has his father's faith and courage, although a different (but equally valid) ministry, and Sylvia's faith is growing in leaps and bounds. I am sure they will be protected, and once more, glory will be to God's name. Another fine chapter.
Wendy
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you. Ben Paul would hug your neck.
smiley face here
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
At least they're onto Albion. This chapter shows us how far the reach of the mob is, and how serious they are about taking these two old coots out, lol! And THAT is just MEAN.
At least Sylvia didn't shoot anyone in this chapter:-)
Have a great weekend,
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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At least they're onto Albion. This chapter shows us how far the reach of the mob is, and how serious they are about taking these two old coots out, lol! And THAT is just MEAN.
At least Sylvia didn't shoot anyone in this chapter:-)
Have a great weekend,
xo
Pam
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Thank you.
And you as well! (great weekend)
Comment from lyenochka
Well, things are getting worse. I'm sorry that Ben had to lose his mother's home. He probably has to let go of his past as he develops his new future with his new wife. I liked the humor you put in with the state trooper. I'm pretty sure Sylvia won't shoot him.
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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Well, things are getting worse. I'm sorry that Ben had to lose his mother's home. He probably has to let go of his past as he develops his new future with his new wife. I liked the humor you put in with the state trooper. I'm pretty sure Sylvia won't shoot him.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 12-May-2024
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smiley face here (not shooting the trooper)
Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a dangerous situation Ben now finds himself in but he is not going to run and hide from God's work (no matter how unfavourably he compares himself to his father). The deal is done for the undercover work to be carried out. A tense scenario follows but instead of them returning they now know that arson has been committed on Ben's mother's house. Ben obviously wonders if he's done the right thing. There's a small edit:(14 lines from the bottom) ...few of Mom (I ) would have kept.
As ever, Wayne, excellent narrative, dialogue and pace and a pleasure to read (even if I'm catching up again). The character of Ben is good: he's not super brave or even devoutly committed but is trying to learn from his father's influence.
Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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This is a dangerous situation Ben now finds himself in but he is not going to run and hide from God's work (no matter how unfavourably he compares himself to his father). The deal is done for the undercover work to be carried out. A tense scenario follows but instead of them returning they now know that arson has been committed on Ben's mother's house. Ben obviously wonders if he's done the right thing. There's a small edit:(14 lines from the bottom) ...few of Mom (I ) would have kept.
As ever, Wayne, excellent narrative, dialogue and pace and a pleasure to read (even if I'm catching up again). The character of Ben is good: he's not super brave or even devoutly committed but is trying to learn from his father's influence.
Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Thank you.
And thank you for allowing me to 'humanize' Ben.
And thank you for the catch - that no one else caught!
smiley face here
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A pleasure!
Comment from royowen
Detective Albion advises Ben and Silvia to distance themselves from their possible assailants, but Ben says how can the watch what God is going to do, from a thousand miles away. They are staying big V8s are cruising, well done, blessings Roy
Typos: Allow Ben and Sylvia (to) understand he was (well) versed.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Detective Albion advises Ben and Silvia to distance themselves from their possible assailants, but Ben says how can the watch what God is going to do, from a thousand miles away. They are staying big V8s are cruising, well done, blessings Roy
Typos: Allow Ben and Sylvia (to) understand he was (well) versed.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Thank you very much for your great review.
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Welcome
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, lets try this again. My review disappeared then I hit save. LOL. Anyway, your bad guys almost sound like the Aryan nation of the 1980s and 1990s. One quick call and members could be reached most anywhere. Thankfully, their numbers are way down, but penitentiaries are still loaded with them. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Well, lets try this again. My review disappeared then I hit save. LOL. Anyway, your bad guys almost sound like the Aryan nation of the 1980s and 1990s. One quick call and members could be reached most anywhere. Thankfully, their numbers are way down, but penitentiaries are still loaded with them. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Thank you.
How can you 'ever' let life-long bad people out?
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They don?t get out, but new sun bags are recruited every day.
Comment from jim vecchio
I admire so much your work on this novel and how quickly you seem to come up with the installment. It takes forever for me to add another chapter. I chase down too many rabbits and wind up writing all sorts of things before I can get back to it. I need more of your discipline.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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I admire so much your work on this novel and how quickly you seem to come up with the installment. It takes forever for me to add another chapter. I chase down too many rabbits and wind up writing all sorts of things before I can get back to it. I need more of your discipline.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Thank you.
But actually.... I cheated.
I had the very first part of 'One Man's Calling' but only up to Ben's 1st death as he killed Salinger (about 40K wds) Then I wrote the start of a heavy outline of 'Right in the Eye', stopping with Ol' Timer in a rest home. (about 10K wds) Those sat for about a year. Then, on inspiration, I wrote the middle 150K words in about 2 weeks, followed by this ending). I'm editing (a bit) as I post, but it was finished before I began posting.
Hope that doesn't take off any shine. (smiley face here)
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Not at all. I admire your discipline. I can't work with an outline and it shows in my writing.
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I've used a straight-up Roman Numeral/Cap ltrs/numbers outline as well as index cards. By heavy outline, I mean writing out the plot in prose without descriptions, details, color, or even much dialogue.
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I've used a straight-up Roman Numeral/Cap ltrs/numbers outline as well as index cards. By heavy outline, I mean writing out the plot in prose without descriptions, details, color, or even much dialogue.
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I really need more discipline. My words just seem to flow out, but I'm sure I could do much better.
