Reviews from

Lions and Tigers and Bears

What would I do if I owned a wild animal

13 total reviews 
Comment from Deniz22
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Roxy,
It's been a while since I last read a post from you, but I see you still have it! Cute little poem I'm sure the little ones will enjoy.
God bless you, Dennis

 Comment Written 12-May-2024


reply by the author on 21-May-2024
    Yes, I've been off for almost 2 yrs. Time really flies. Thank you so much for the great review.
reply by Deniz22 on 01-Jun-2024
    God Bless you!
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Roxy,

I knew you could do it!!! This was a fun piece to read and the rhyming added a little extra. But, that should settle things, right? Never doubt yourself. I believe in you!

One small note:
1.) if I'm still on this earthy plaine,
--> though I'm not sure whether 'plain' or 'plane' is appropriate here - I do know it would not be 'plaine' with the 'e'. *smile*

Thanks a bunch!

 Comment Written 11-May-2024


reply by the author on 21-May-2024
    Work has been very slow, so I worked on the poem to kill some time. I was surprised I could do it and very happy. I made the correction. Thanks so much dear.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Excellent
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I agree that visiting the zoo
is for sure the correct thing to do
and of all the creatures under the moon
I definitely would not take care of a baboon!

Fun story. Well-written. Creative. The rhyme was a nice addition. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 21-May-2024
    Thanks so much. I like your rhyme too and yes baboons are a real no no. =}
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
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This is absolutely adorable!!! I love the entire premise, and how it so logically leads to your final line, "I think I'll just visit the zoo."

The situations you set up are both logical ("I'd build a high fence so jumping it would be so very hard") and humorous ("I'd call him Goldilocks, just for the fun of it. If he knew the whole story, I'm sure he'd have a fit"). My one suggestion, just because you set it up so perfectly to fit this, is to change that second example to, "I'd call him Goldilocks, just for the fun of it. If he knew the whole story, I'm sure he'd have none of it."

It's always nice to have you back, Roxanna!

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 21-May-2024
    Thanks so much Michele. It's nice to be back. I made the change you suggested and like it better. Thank you.
reply by Michele Harber on 21-May-2024
    You're very welcome, Roxanna, and I'm so glad my suggestion was helpful.
Comment from Pamusart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Roxanna. How the heck are you? I'm back from a long hiatus. I hope you are well.

What a delightful story/ poem. So imaginative. I did find one thing, I think, In this line

"was exercised well, bath him "

Should it be bathe rather than bath?

I truly enjoyed this. Thus, the six star rating

 Comment Written 10-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Thanks so much for the 6 stars. It was very fun to write. I've been away too. First time back in over a year. So welcome back too.
reply by Pamusart on 10-May-2024
    I?ve been away since 12/16/19!! Four and a half years
Comment from Thesis
Excellent
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I was initially confused with the rhyming in a short story, but it was cute when you read through it. It made sense and showed love and caring for animals, which is always a plus in my book.

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Yes written this way it can be hard to read, but still glad you were able to enjoy it. Thanks so much.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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This is very well written, and I enjoyed listening to it very much. Your rhyming does add something to the presentation. I wish you the very best with all of your writing and I wish you a wonderful weekend. Patricia .

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Thank you so much Patricia
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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Hiya Rox...
Yea, although a bear would be a cool pet, fully grown he or she would tower over me and far outweigh me, both very daunting attributes,

All said dnd done, I loved your rhyming prose post!

Cheers, John

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    No a real bear would not be a good animal to own. I'll just watch them on TV. Thank you.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Oh yes Roxanne, visiting the zoo might be a much better idea, although bears are really quite nice, I don't know how I would react to a real one. We have owned many cats and dogs, but I think they are a good size, beautifully written blessings Roy

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    No it would not be a good idea to own a real bear. I just watch them on the nature channel. =} Thanks so much
reply by royowen on 10-May-2024
    Heh heh well done Rox
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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I very much enjoyed reading this story. A bear named Goldilocks is funny. I think it would also appeal to younger children. I think you put a lot of thought into this, especially to get it to rhyme.
Little fixes:
bath him often so he wouldn't smell,
This might be regional, but I would use bathe instead of bath

Not a drivers license
I would say: Not a driver's license

In the winter he'd wear a jacket with fuzzy, furry hood.
I would just add the article 'a' in front of fuzzy, furry hood.

 Comment Written 09-May-2024


reply by the author on 10-May-2024
    Thanks for the helps, glad you enjoyed it.