Stagnicky, You Fool
About that one culinary imbecile21 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
Bruce, LOL. So much for the best-laid plans of mice, men, and Chefs! I must say the title of your story caught my attention. My first thought was to blame it on Ricky Stanicky! A most underrated film. Well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
  |
Bruce, LOL. So much for the best-laid plans of mice, men, and Chefs! I must say the title of your story caught my attention. My first thought was to blame it on Ricky Stanicky! A most underrated film. Well done. Terry.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
-
Hehe, thanks a lot Terry!
Comment from tfawcus
Well, even if your culinary creation doesn't get tasted, you've certainly given your readers a gourmet feast with your description of it. A mouth-watering masterpiece!
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
 |
Well, even if your culinary creation doesn't get tasted, you've certainly given your readers a gourmet feast with your description of it. A mouth-watering masterpiece!
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
-
Thank you kindly
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I am not a master chef, but it sounds like all the details are here to create that world and the characters in it.
Only the tiniest of suggestions:
The audience will love me, I thought.
I would put: The audience will love me,
in italics.
"Alex, what say you, how do you feel about what Jack just said?"
I think I would either put a question mark after what say you and then start a new question with a capital H on how, or else put a long dash after what say you.
"The langoustines and truffle tower looks exquisite, keep it up!"
I think I would put a semi-colon in place of the colon after exquisite.
Everything else falls into place with a concise, well-crafted sense of pacing and description, combined with dialogue.
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
|
I am not a master chef, but it sounds like all the details are here to create that world and the characters in it.
Only the tiniest of suggestions:
The audience will love me, I thought.
I would put: The audience will love me,
in italics.
"Alex, what say you, how do you feel about what Jack just said?"
I think I would either put a question mark after what say you and then start a new question with a capital H on how, or else put a long dash after what say you.
"The langoustines and truffle tower looks exquisite, keep it up!"
I think I would put a semi-colon in place of the colon after exquisite.
Everything else falls into place with a concise, well-crafted sense of pacing and description, combined with dialogue.
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
-
Thank you very much for the notes, Crystie. Much appreciate the feedback on how to improve.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Death really does make a mess of a cooking contest. Who feels like tasting food when there is blood and death right beside it? This is an interesting story, a bit like a mystery, but with a mystery you need to solve the crime.
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
|
Death really does make a mess of a cooking contest. Who feels like tasting food when there is blood and death right beside it? This is an interesting story, a bit like a mystery, but with a mystery you need to solve the crime.
Comment Written 09-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
-
Thank you, Carol.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Don't you just hate when you work so hard in the kitchen to prepare a masterpiece only to have some idiot lose his head and create a scene that ruins it? It's a common problem. Lol. Great story. Well-written and entertaining.
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
Don't you just hate when you work so hard in the kitchen to prepare a masterpiece only to have some idiot lose his head and create a scene that ruins it? It's a common problem. Lol. Great story. Well-written and entertaining.
Comment Written 09-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
Hate when it happens. Thanks, Marilyn!
Comment from Wendy G
Well, he was certainly very sure of himself and his exquisite cooking - and yes the poetry of his words was wonderful. I thought the final sentence was excellent, showing who he was within - very self-focused! Imaginative story - well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
Well, he was certainly very sure of himself and his exquisite cooking - and yes the poetry of his words was wonderful. I thought the final sentence was excellent, showing who he was within - very self-focused! Imaginative story - well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 09-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
Thank you, Wendy.
Comment from Julie Helms
I am no foodie, with no clue what some of this food was, BUT it didn't matter because your language, the words you chose, were so precisely and beautifully rendered.
This is the second story of yours I've read, and both were told from the POV of a narcissist, a delicious personality trait for mining irony and very dark humor.
Nicely done!
Julie
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
I am no foodie, with no clue what some of this food was, BUT it didn't matter because your language, the words you chose, were so precisely and beautifully rendered.
This is the second story of yours I've read, and both were told from the POV of a narcissist, a delicious personality trait for mining irony and very dark humor.
Nicely done!
Julie
Comment Written 09-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
I'm catching up on some of Bukowski's work and felt inspired to see how writing about such characters feels like. I love it. Highly recommend it, Julie. Having a total blast. Thank you very much for the six stars and another fantastic review.
Comment from Esther Brown
Wow. What an unusual ending and topic. Interested in how you got the idea...are you a follower of food competitions? Are you a chef? I wasn't sure what exactly you made but sounded yummy and beautiful. Good story. Esther
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
Wow. What an unusual ending and topic. Interested in how you got the idea...are you a follower of food competitions? Are you a chef? I wasn't sure what exactly you made but sounded yummy and beautiful. Good story. Esther
Comment Written 08-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
Thanks, Esther.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This will be interesting to see where this leads cuz you are really building us up you are really building us up:"It was a masterpiece. It was a romance between the ocean and the forest." i like how you describe drizzling almost as if it were dripping blood. They were going to miss something wonderful. This is such a bummer.
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
This will be interesting to see where this leads cuz you are really building us up you are really building us up:"It was a masterpiece. It was a romance between the ocean and the forest." i like how you describe drizzling almost as if it were dripping blood. They were going to miss something wonderful. This is such a bummer.
Comment Written 08-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
Absolutely love the blood reference. Thanks a lot, Liz.
-
Great job
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You have presented us with a delightful construction of egocentricity, and concentration. My favourite part was the description of the building of the tower. I was so convinced that the twist was going to be that it fell over, so outstanding alternative. kay
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
|
You have presented us with a delightful construction of egocentricity, and concentration. My favourite part was the description of the building of the tower. I was so convinced that the twist was going to be that it fell over, so outstanding alternative. kay
Comment Written 08-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
-
Never crossed my mind and I feel like I should be happy it didn't? Haha! Thanks a lot, Kay!