Queen of River Denial
Vulnerability revealing pain in the past30 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
This is a woman with a sordid past that want so get past it. This doesn't seem to be a strong enough man to help her do that. The poem has good use of metaphor and emotion.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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Hi
This is a woman with a sordid past that want so get past it. This doesn't seem to be a strong enough man to help her do that. The poem has good use of metaphor and emotion.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day.
Joan
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 27-May-2024
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You too. Esther
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You too. Esther
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
The most difficult thing is sharing your truth with others, your good and your bad times, your highs and your lows. I have found I keep far away from people once I realize they could never understand nor value me and my journey.
Some people are just cold and ignorant. Excellent writing. Very authentic and emotional.
Best wishes
Alex
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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The most difficult thing is sharing your truth with others, your good and your bad times, your highs and your lows. I have found I keep far away from people once I realize they could never understand nor value me and my journey.
Some people are just cold and ignorant. Excellent writing. Very authentic and emotional.
Best wishes
Alex
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thanks so much for reading. I can tell by your writing you feel passionate about life. I so admire people who are not afraid of truth and standing up for what they believe.
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Thanks so much for reading. I can tell by your writing you feel passionate about life. I so admire people who are not afraid of truth and standing up for what they believe.
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Thanks so much for reading. I can tell by your writing you feel passionate about life. I so admire people who are not afraid of truth and standing up for what they believe.
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
I can feel a lot of emotion behind this. This is strong in chatacter. I can feel what you are trying to say and I enjoyed it fully. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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I can feel a lot of emotion behind this. This is strong in chatacter. I can feel what you are trying to say and I enjoyed it fully. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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It hurt when my pastor gave this illustration of selling your soul for acceptance. You got it. I wish I could go back and tell him how much his shepherding meant. Esther
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It hurt when my pastor gave this illustration of selling your soul for acceptance. You got it. I wish I could go back and tell him how much his shepherding meant. Esther
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It hurt when my pastor gave this illustration of selling your soul for acceptance. You got it. I wish I could go back and tell him how much his shepherding meant. Esther
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What a beautiful expression of feelings and sharing of self here. You are not the first to regret speaking out, becoming naked and vulnerable in the eyes of those around you who would prefer not to believe the bad - only the good.
I love how you compared your narrator to Eve, who felt the ultimate shame for what she had done. We want to be covered and safe again, but never can go back.
Love the title too. I hope you do well in this contest, as this poem is very emotional.
I assume the narrator is you, but that's not important - your theme here fits many.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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What a beautiful expression of feelings and sharing of self here. You are not the first to regret speaking out, becoming naked and vulnerable in the eyes of those around you who would prefer not to believe the bad - only the good.
I love how you compared your narrator to Eve, who felt the ultimate shame for what she had done. We want to be covered and safe again, but never can go back.
Love the title too. I hope you do well in this contest, as this poem is very emotional.
I assume the narrator is you, but that's not important - your theme here fits many.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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Thanks Pam. I much appreciate your acceptance of my raw feelings. Thank God my shame is covered in His love and buried as far as East is from the West. Esther
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! Fabulous poem! And I see you're new here. Welcome!
I do hope that in sharing your writing that you won't feel that "Telling my story shames me, maims me, leaves me alone." (love your use of internal rhymes!) It's here that we do feel safe to share our stories and most reviewers are kind and supportive. Great use of Biblical allusion (Eve) and I like the pun of " Queen of the River of Denial."
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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Wow! Fabulous poem! And I see you're new here. Welcome!
I do hope that in sharing your writing that you won't feel that "Telling my story shames me, maims me, leaves me alone." (love your use of internal rhymes!) It's here that we do feel safe to share our stories and most reviewers are kind and supportive. Great use of Biblical allusion (Eve) and I like the pun of " Queen of the River of Denial."
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 24-May-2024
reply by the author on 24-May-2024
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I still feel like a newbie, joined in March. Thanks for reading my poem. And yes, sharing part of my story with my son (First Half African) did overwhelm me. I have had many years to process the chaos of my early years of marriage. Denial was my cloak. Esther
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Your poem expresses the use of a person's face without one's approval (shocked. looking away in silence) and the dressing of a fig leaf is necessary to feel fully clothed. The story about Adam and Eve is a reminder of how a serpent changed their life, and not for the good.
reply by the author on 22-May-2024
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Your poem expresses the use of a person's face without one's approval (shocked. looking away in silence) and the dressing of a fig leaf is necessary to feel fully clothed. The story about Adam and Eve is a reminder of how a serpent changed their life, and not for the good.
Comment Written 22-May-2024
reply by the author on 22-May-2024
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Thanks for reviewing Rosemary. I am struggling right now with trying to write the most difficult memoirs deciding if it is worth the pain of remembering. God rescues us from sin and shame, and the ending is good because He makes us new.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem is so raw and the message so powerful. It's so honest and you have to respect that. It's not easy to do. Great job. I felt you showed vulnerability and the longing for acceptance after some regrets. The imagery of shedding a mask to reveal wounds is powerful. I like how you used biblical references, such as Eve and the fig leaves. It adds to the emotional depth of the poem. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 22-May-2024
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Your poem is so raw and the message so powerful. It's so honest and you have to respect that. It's not easy to do. Great job. I felt you showed vulnerability and the longing for acceptance after some regrets. The imagery of shedding a mask to reveal wounds is powerful. I like how you used biblical references, such as Eve and the fig leaves. It adds to the emotional depth of the poem. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 22-May-2024
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Thanks so much Michael. I had written the stories for my son of the first 5 years of his life. It was not something he was ready to hear. Perhaps mom should have kept her secrets.
Comment from Idawiesenfeld
This poem expresses emotions of loss, and sadness. You expressed that really well.The sense of rhyme really adds to it, the picture is awesome and loved how you wrote it in a poetic way. Overall beautifully written.
reply by the author on 18-May-2024
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This poem expresses emotions of loss, and sadness. You expressed that really well.The sense of rhyme really adds to it, the picture is awesome and loved how you wrote it in a poetic way. Overall beautifully written.
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 18-May-2024
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Thanks so much for reading it. It was written in a moment of weakness feeling ashamed of myself for hauling my small children through all that drama. Esther
Comment from bob cullen
Never be ashamed of your past. Many of our younger actions were enforced on us by expectations. And those expectation were generally way beyond our control. Honesty however is different. Honesty represents truth. And remember, we can't change the past, but we can rebuild our future. So, may I would suggest, you start the rebuilding. Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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Never be ashamed of your past. Many of our younger actions were enforced on us by expectations. And those expectation were generally way beyond our control. Honesty however is different. Honesty represents truth. And remember, we can't change the past, but we can rebuild our future. So, may I would suggest, you start the rebuilding. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-May-2024
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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Thanks Bob. I wrote my son's first 5 years for him as a gift because we haven't talked about it. I think it may have been a bit much for him to process all at once. The poem was a gut reaction to how I was feeling. I will get brave and write more but was on emotional overload. Thanks for your review and acceptance. Esther
Comment from JRaeVaughn
To bare one's soul should not be a day of judgement and can be the most incredible, freeing experience. There is nothing shameful about exposing innermost thoughts, honest emotions and sensitivity. More should have the courage to reveal what truly lies within. For that, I laud the genuine and telling commentary. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and prance past abstaining cold shoulders, head held high and naked as a post...
I particularly liked "Let me conceal myself in a shadow of my own."
Very nicely penned,
JR
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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To bare one's soul should not be a day of judgement and can be the most incredible, freeing experience. There is nothing shameful about exposing innermost thoughts, honest emotions and sensitivity. More should have the courage to reveal what truly lies within. For that, I laud the genuine and telling commentary. "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and prance past abstaining cold shoulders, head held high and naked as a post...
I particularly liked "Let me conceal myself in a shadow of my own."
Very nicely penned,
JR
Comment Written 17-May-2024
reply by the author on 17-May-2024
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Your review is appreciated. So many years I have shared so little with so few. My son is 46 this year and the first "Half African" I wrote about. I gifted him his story (unvarnished) for his birthday and was overwhelmed. Realized I have had years to process. In my family denial is an art. I love naked as a post. Head held high is still hard. Esther.
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My pleasure Esther. Per your review, my former response and your second comment here I'll need to back peddle. In retrospect, I submitted the first pages of an autobiography entitled "Relative Dysfunction" that has been (at an impasse and working through the pain) archived for ages. For a novice it did remarkably well. However, there are those that can't handle truth, the rawness and others may question motive. Be prepared, for some loss of audience.
Nevertheless, writing it down is essential to ridding yourself of it and marvelous therapy. Therefore, I say forge ahead. After all, viewers are distant and will not be waiting on your doorstep.
Write on,
JR
