Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Right in the Eye, ch 17"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
10 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
I don't know how you get these old men to be in such good shape at their age. I need a dose of whatever they're using to keep them physically young. I didn't realize the son of Ben born after his death had never married. Since he's been a successful pastor, I'm surprising that he feels he's never had the calling from God. Nicely written. I'm glad he was able to save the girl
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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I don't know how you get these old men to be in such good shape at their age. I need a dose of whatever they're using to keep them physically young. I didn't realize the son of Ben born after his death had never married. Since he's been a successful pastor, I'm surprising that he feels he's never had the calling from God. Nicely written. I'm glad he was able to save the girl
Comment Written 01-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
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Thank you. I wanted to demonstrate that being a pastor can be a 'calling'. And being Ben and Beth Person's son, he was special.
Of course Slim was a walking miracle. And anymore, 81 isn't so old. Look at Jimmie Carter, he was active in Habitat for Humanity well into his 90s.
Comment from lyenochka
How fun that you are relaying the previous part of Ben Persons' story and then showing how the good works and gospel sharing he did in his life has affected generations afterwards. Even Arville's grandson could recognize "Ben Persons!"
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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How fun that you are relaying the previous part of Ben Persons' story and then showing how the good works and gospel sharing he did in his life has affected generations afterwards. Even Arville's grandson could recognize "Ben Persons!"
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you! My hope is that reading this might inspire, and offer hope for people to pray, and to have faith that answers and results may be generations removed.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Ha Ha, that last line hit me like one of Henny Youngman's irreverent one-liners. Cute and entertaining, and meant almost opposite as to what it said. LOL. Thought-wise, anyway. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Ha Ha, that last line hit me like one of Henny Youngman's irreverent one-liners. Cute and entertaining, and meant almost opposite as to what it said. LOL. Thought-wise, anyway. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you!
Comment from Jim Wile
Quite an exciting turn of events in this chapter with the rescue of the young girl from the fire by 81-year-old Ben Paul, just as spry as someone half his age.
Also, a nice look back at the exploits of his father during his trip to Creede. Hard to know how that brief but detailed account will come across to readers not familiar with the original story. It's fun for us who know it to hear it again, but I'm not sure how first time readers will take it. I know when I'm in a conversation with a person, and they start going on about a person I don't know, I generally tune right out. Just something to think about.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Quite an exciting turn of events in this chapter with the rescue of the young girl from the fire by 81-year-old Ben Paul, just as spry as someone half his age.
Also, a nice look back at the exploits of his father during his trip to Creede. Hard to know how that brief but detailed account will come across to readers not familiar with the original story. It's fun for us who know it to hear it again, but I'm not sure how first time readers will take it. I know when I'm in a conversation with a person, and they start going on about a person I don't know, I generally tune right out. Just something to think about.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Yes. A couple have asked for a brief synopsis (which I did).
But I have tried to bring Ben Persons back into the story by one means or another.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
First Ben wants to pause to pray, then he's in a big hurry to run to the car and will Sylvia to hurry. How did he know the girl was in the attic? God told him? "You have the x-rays to prove it," sounds like she's talking to Slim.
I feel confused by this one a bit. I should have read other's comments before I typed this, now my comments will disappear if I do that:-(
Could be just me, Wayne, lol! I also felt like the diary lacked emotion - the story was just told. Is that how a diary would be written?
Are you rushing to get two chapters a week posted? I wonder if you cut that to one if you could take more care to "show" us more and give us some emotion instead of just telling us there's emotion. Also, if you posted once a week, you'd have more member dollars to put toward getting a wider audience by promoting higher.
Random thoughts here. Forgive me, I started a new pain med yesterday for my back and it makes me a little loopy.
Take care,
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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First Ben wants to pause to pray, then he's in a big hurry to run to the car and will Sylvia to hurry. How did he know the girl was in the attic? God told him? "You have the x-rays to prove it," sounds like she's talking to Slim.
I feel confused by this one a bit. I should have read other's comments before I typed this, now my comments will disappear if I do that:-(
Could be just me, Wayne, lol! I also felt like the diary lacked emotion - the story was just told. Is that how a diary would be written?
Are you rushing to get two chapters a week posted? I wonder if you cut that to one if you could take more care to "show" us more and give us some emotion instead of just telling us there's emotion. Also, if you posted once a week, you'd have more member dollars to put toward getting a wider audience by promoting higher.
Random thoughts here. Forgive me, I started a new pain med yesterday for my back and it makes me a little loopy.
Take care,
xo
Pam
Comment Written 29-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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smiley face here!
2/week because it's taking a long time to get the 200K word piece done with.
The diary was written by the daughter (Livvy's account as told to her daughter, Martha. Sylvia is the grand-daughter sharing them with Ben Paul. So I thought highlight form would work. Do you think they should have emotions despite that?
Ben was shown the girl's presence in his prayer.
(You don't sound loopy!) smiley face here
Comment from Wendy G
How amazing. He too was in tune with God who honoured him for praying first - and that young woman's life was saved, I did chuckle at his concern about his virginity (at 81) and that each would keep to their own side of the bed. With the pain he would have been in, he probably didn't need to worry too much! Lol.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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How amazing. He too was in tune with God who honoured him for praying first - and that young woman's life was saved, I did chuckle at his concern about his virginity (at 81) and that each would keep to their own side of the bed. With the pain he would have been in, he probably didn't need to worry too much! Lol.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Thank you.
I'm sure thebed sounded (and looked) very inviting - and safe.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is dramatic and amusing as Ben figures his virginity is safe. Fortunately, God gave him a message as he had done Ben's father and Ben Paul was able to save the girl. Was she a prisoner? I await the next chapter to find out.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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This is dramatic and amusing as Ben figures his virginity is safe. Fortunately, God gave him a message as he had done Ben's father and Ben Paul was able to save the girl. Was she a prisoner? I await the next chapter to find out.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Thank you! Yes. The girl will be a focus for a moment.
And thank you immensely for the six stars!
Comment from jim vecchio
Getting betterer and betterer! The part about the tapped line was totally believable, and I believe turn of the century vaudevillians did similar things to set up hot plates in boarding houses. I have to chuckle at Oroville's name. I once worked at a newspaper with a "lovable drunk". He called himself and everyone else "Orville" because he said it was easier than remembering a lot of names. Can't help thinking of him when I read a similar name.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Getting betterer and betterer! The part about the tapped line was totally believable, and I believe turn of the century vaudevillians did similar things to set up hot plates in boarding houses. I have to chuckle at Oroville's name. I once worked at a newspaper with a "lovable drunk". He called himself and everyone else "Orville" because he said it was easier than remembering a lot of names. Can't help thinking of him when I read a similar name.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Thank you immensely for the six shiny stars!
I had a cousin and a very good friend named Oroville (pronounced Orvill).
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Please forgive my tardiness. I keep losing the Internet. Our wife is terrible. That name brings back memories!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is another strong chapter. I love the depth of character development and the imagery you employed throughout the story. Your ability to bring each character to life, from Ben Persons with his unwavering bravery to Sylvia with her compassionate nature, truly made the story and each character come alive.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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This is another strong chapter. I love the depth of character development and the imagery you employed throughout the story. Your ability to bring each character to life, from Ben Persons with his unwavering bravery to Sylvia with her compassionate nature, truly made the story and each character come alive.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I appreciated your very nice review.
Comment from Mark Jackson
This is a captivating and emotionally resonant tale of love, loss, and the enduring resilience of the human spirit. Through its compelling characters and heartfelt storytelling, you invite us on a journey of redemption and renewal, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, there is light to be found in the embrace of love and community. Thank you.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
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This is a captivating and emotionally resonant tale of love, loss, and the enduring resilience of the human spirit. Through its compelling characters and heartfelt storytelling, you invite us on a journey of redemption and renewal, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, there is light to be found in the embrace of love and community. Thank you.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I appreciate your very kind review.
