Love Honor and a Mail Order Bride
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Starry Night on a Broken Road"Indian girl vies for the heart of a homesteader
11 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Goodness, Luke really has got his hands full! And what about poor Aiyana? But he's obviously got a heart of gold so I'm hopeful he'll work it out.
Your faultlessly written chapter hooked me in from the start with the rather bleak atmosphere and the obvious tension and dangers that exist from Blackfoot and then from the law possibly catching up with Ruth. I'm enjoying this. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
  |
Goodness, Luke really has got his hands full! And what about poor Aiyana? But he's obviously got a heart of gold so I'm hopeful he'll work it out.
Your faultlessly written chapter hooked me in from the start with the rather bleak atmosphere and the obvious tension and dangers that exist from Blackfoot and then from the law possibly catching up with Ruth. I'm enjoying this. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
-
Thanks Debbie! Realizing that you were paying attention to the past writs and the present really made my day. Worth more than the stars, but humbly thankful.
Comment from estory
This is a story of compassion. I liked the details in the scene setting, the dialogue was crisp, the characters are well defined. We identify with the hard working, lonely prairie drifter, and also with the victim of the wife beater and her innocent child. The opening scene was a bit obscure, to me. It was nicely penned, this pensive moment of the Indian girl who seems to be dreaming of love herself, as well as escape from her people. But it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the chapter. Maybe it belongs to another chapter. I realize that I kind of walked into the middle of this without knowing what's in the previous chapters. But I liked the style and the character developement, the dialogue. There seems to be polish on this. estory
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
|
This is a story of compassion. I liked the details in the scene setting, the dialogue was crisp, the characters are well defined. We identify with the hard working, lonely prairie drifter, and also with the victim of the wife beater and her innocent child. The opening scene was a bit obscure, to me. It was nicely penned, this pensive moment of the Indian girl who seems to be dreaming of love herself, as well as escape from her people. But it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the chapter. Maybe it belongs to another chapter. I realize that I kind of walked into the middle of this without knowing what's in the previous chapters. But I liked the style and the character developement, the dialogue. There seems to be polish on this. estory
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2024
-
You highlighted some aspects I only hoped I could make the reader sense and feel. Appreciate so much what you expressed. It encourages me going forward. Thanks!
Comment from Sally Law
Dang! I have no sixes to my name! This is deserving and the best chapter yet.i especially liked this line--
Darkness swallowed Luke whole, as he rested his head on the saddle and watched stars fill the sky.
I have been swallowed whole by darkness. What a great description! Outstanding chapter that left me wanting more.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal :))
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
|
Dang! I have no sixes to my name! This is deserving and the best chapter yet.i especially liked this line--
Darkness swallowed Luke whole, as he rested his head on the saddle and watched stars fill the sky.
I have been swallowed whole by darkness. What a great description! Outstanding chapter that left me wanting more.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal :))
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
-
Thanks so much Sally. I get down on myself because I'm a terrible self-editor. I know you scored me for content, and I appreciate that so much. I'd write more, but I still work more than I wish. Blessings...
Comment from lyenochka
Poor Luke! Will troubles never keep seeking him out? For one lonely bachelor, he has suddenly become responsible for three females. One has Blackfeet Indians chasing her; another is woman who's a wanted criminal, and a little girl who is hoping for a father. I wonder if all of them can somehow make a home? Maybe Aiyana can marry him after all.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
|
Poor Luke! Will troubles never keep seeking him out? For one lonely bachelor, he has suddenly become responsible for three females. One has Blackfeet Indians chasing her; another is woman who's a wanted criminal, and a little girl who is hoping for a father. I wonder if all of them can somehow make a home? Maybe Aiyana can marry him after all.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
-
Thanks so much for your thumbs up. It means much coming from you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Truth is always stranger than fiction. Nobody could imagine some of this stuff. I can't wait to figure out how Luke is going to get himself out of this mess. He's in love with Aiyana, but now a child. Oh my!!! This is a good write.
of darkness in the cabin and Luke's dog Sugar, who slept with her in his (dog,)
As Luke placed Ruth's daughter into the wagon and then gave her mother help aboard, Anna blurted. "Are you my new father?" (blurted,)
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
|
Truth is always stranger than fiction. Nobody could imagine some of this stuff. I can't wait to figure out how Luke is going to get himself out of this mess. He's in love with Aiyana, but now a child. Oh my!!! This is a good write.
of darkness in the cabin and Luke's dog Sugar, who slept with her in his (dog,)
As Luke placed Ruth's daughter into the wagon and then gave her mother help aboard, Anna blurted. "Are you my new father?" (blurted,)
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
-
Thanks Barbara!
Comment from BethShelby
This is an interesting twist. I thought he was falling in love with the part Indian girl. This lady and her child needs help and he seem to have a kind heart. I wonder how they story will go from here. I haven't heard of a women kicking a man to death before but I'm glad you told about your firend marrying someone who didn't that.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
This is an interesting twist. I thought he was falling in love with the part Indian girl. This lady and her child needs help and he seem to have a kind heart. I wonder how they story will go from here. I haven't heard of a women kicking a man to death before but I'm glad you told about your firend marrying someone who didn't that.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Yes, he married this girl from England when he was stationed there in the Airforce. She had three little girls from her previous marriage, and then a daughter and son through his marriage to her. Not sure if his drunkenness contributed to how she managed it. Thanks!
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written story and I enjoyed listening to it very much. It moves A along well when it is read aloud. I wish you the very best for the week and I also wish you a very good day. Patricia .
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
This is a very well written story and I enjoyed listening to it very much. It moves A along well when it is read aloud. I wish you the very best for the week and I also wish you a very good day. Patricia .
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Thanks Pat!
Comment from royowen
What a fine story you're writing Stan, I can feel the sting of your own life in this narrative, but because you recognise the Father God is and you won't see a little fatherless child become orphaned, I have had the privilege of taking in youths who turned their lives around, and became good parents and productive citizens, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
What a fine story you're writing Stan, I can feel the sting of your own life in this narrative, but because you recognise the Father God is and you won't see a little fatherless child become orphaned, I have had the privilege of taking in youths who turned their lives around, and became good parents and productive citizens, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Amen and thanks. I want this to be seen how God's providence does shape lives for his glory. Thanks!
-
We can trust God
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Every fiction stems from truth in my experience. Your friend's wife is quite strong and she was fortunate; most women couldn't cause a death while defending themselves. More often a woman dies trying to defend herself. Your story is well written, with good descriptions and authentic dialogue. Best wishes.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
Every fiction stems from truth in my experience. Your friend's wife is quite strong and she was fortunate; most women couldn't cause a death while defending themselves. More often a woman dies trying to defend herself. Your story is well written, with good descriptions and authentic dialogue. Best wishes.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Appreciate your words. Thanks!
-
Your welcome.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Barry Penfold
A really good read. Certainly sets the readers anticipation for more. I like the backbones of the story and certainly is a real situation. I will look for more. Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
|
A really good read. Certainly sets the readers anticipation for more. I like the backbones of the story and certainly is a real situation. I will look for more. Thanks for sharing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
-
Thanks for your heartfelt words.