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Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "A Battle of Wills"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
22 total reviews
Comment from Faith Williams
What a revelation by Hades! What reaction did he hope to achieve by revealing it? It almost seems like he purposefully pushed her away though it's not what he wants. Or as a god, is he just has no idea of human emotions?
Great sentence: 'The smell of rotting flesh and sulfur poured out of his mouth and bathed her face.'
Another great chapter, Rhonda. I look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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What a revelation by Hades! What reaction did he hope to achieve by revealing it? It almost seems like he purposefully pushed her away though it's not what he wants. Or as a god, is he just has no idea of human emotions?
Great sentence: 'The smell of rotting flesh and sulfur poured out of his mouth and bathed her face.'
Another great chapter, Rhonda. I look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Hi Faith, thank you so much for the six stars!! A Thursday gift, for sure!!
Hades was trying to shock Echo because she's too cocky. He's surprised by her lack of fear, which is what he usually does to control. He goes back and forth between allure and fear to try and find something to work. On the other hand, he isn't terribly worried about her feelings, but more so than he wants.
Thank you again,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is certainly a battle of wills. The thought of a man with his bad breath breathing on her for the rest of her life is certainly a good reason to fight to the death, it necessary. Very good story with realistic action.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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This is certainly a battle of wills. The thought of a man with his bad breath breathing on her for the rest of her life is certainly a good reason to fight to the death, it necessary. Very good story with realistic action.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Hi Carol,
Thank you for the sweet review. Bad breath is a definite turn-off, but sometimes evil forgets how evil they are, or smell, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from BethShelby
Good chapter. It revealing some thing unknown until now. That Hades set the fire that killed hr parents and she was declared to be someone who would one day marry one ten Gods of Mt. Olympus. Also that she gave off a special energy at birth that most people don't have. I'm enjoying your story.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Good chapter. It revealing some thing unknown until now. That Hades set the fire that killed hr parents and she was declared to be someone who would one day marry one ten Gods of Mt. Olympus. Also that she gave off a special energy at birth that most people don't have. I'm enjoying your story.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the review, Beth! I appreciate you time and for keeping up with the story. Yes, Hades revealed a lot, but he's trying to make her scared and dependent at the same time. He may find her a bit resistant on both accounts.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Frank Malley
"A Battle of Wills" puts mythical beings at odds with contemporary humans. It's a tried and true starting point for much that makes fantasy literature enjoyable. This writer knows her stuff, and I'm only reiterating a criticism I frequently make when I say she could make a more successful story thread with fewer words and by using other writing tactics. Of course, I've only read this chapter and my sense of the entirety is nonexistent. However, and nonetheless, pacing and sufficient dramatic action is essential to making a text attractive. I also think that this chapter's main character somehow needs to be more substantial than just being bold and sexy.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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"A Battle of Wills" puts mythical beings at odds with contemporary humans. It's a tried and true starting point for much that makes fantasy literature enjoyable. This writer knows her stuff, and I'm only reiterating a criticism I frequently make when I say she could make a more successful story thread with fewer words and by using other writing tactics. Of course, I've only read this chapter and my sense of the entirety is nonexistent. However, and nonetheless, pacing and sufficient dramatic action is essential to making a text attractive. I also think that this chapter's main character somehow needs to be more substantial than just being bold and sexy.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your review, Frank. You're right on me being wordy. It is something I work very hard on trimming back. I am absolutely dismal at flash fiction!!
Thank you for the comments on fleshing out the characters. That's fair
Take care,
Rhonda
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Dear Rhonda,
You're very gracious. I can be seen as unduly critical sometimes, but my effort is to be useful and to insert my best judgments. When one likes to write, it's really difficult to forsake a clever elocution or word choice. But tastes change, and I always - clearly not successfully - try to be aware of what makes a piece of writing more attractive to a contemporary reader.
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Point taken. I'm constantly trying to improve, which is a process, and learning to trim the fat on novels is a challenge to me, personally. Something I've improved on a lot if you'd ever read any of my earlier work. Always improve...
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It is merely a point. I often encounter published fantasy that is far inferior to your work. Who knows when an intelligent rewrite loses something vitally individual and central to a work?
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Frank, I couldn't agree more, and I am working on trimming the fat without taking away the meat, for sure. I appreciate you input!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Hades may be a god, but he's not very wise, revealing that he is the one who killed Echo's parent. Way to win a girl's heart. LOL
Of course, we already suspect this since the specters are Hades soldiers/henchmen, though Hades likely doesn't care what Echo thinks anyway.
If I remember right, Persephone was kidnapped and forced to marry Hades.
It doesn't bodes well for Echo.
It's interesting to see how you weave the modern world with the ancient mythology of the Greek gods, so that they now coexist in the modern word.
It seems Theo must become one of the Twelve for the prophecy to become true. But then, maybe the Prophecy is not true or is misconstrued.
The confrontation between Echo and Hades is very well done. A battle of wills or spirits. And a little dark humor too.
Marvelous chapter, my friend.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hello Rhonda,
Hades may be a god, but he's not very wise, revealing that he is the one who killed Echo's parent. Way to win a girl's heart. LOL
Of course, we already suspect this since the specters are Hades soldiers/henchmen, though Hades likely doesn't care what Echo thinks anyway.
If I remember right, Persephone was kidnapped and forced to marry Hades.
It doesn't bodes well for Echo.
It's interesting to see how you weave the modern world with the ancient mythology of the Greek gods, so that they now coexist in the modern word.
It seems Theo must become one of the Twelve for the prophecy to become true. But then, maybe the Prophecy is not true or is misconstrued.
The confrontation between Echo and Hades is very well done. A battle of wills or spirits. And a little dark humor too.
Marvelous chapter, my friend.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi Robert,
Thank you for the six stars. They are much appreciated I assure you!! As always, you manage to hit at the heart of what I'm trying to say and where I'm trying to go!!
Hades is an idiot, but he's trying to get Echo off balance so he can control her. So far, she's in the lead. However, he does have her a bit at her at a bit of a disadvantage, but she has powerful friends.
Theo has a strong spirit signature, too, and is in line for a promotion. On the other hand, Hades might be manipulating that prophesy for his own benefit.
I'm glad you caught the dark humor. Next chapter will follow another character. Enough with Echo and Hades for the moment.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh yes, heating up a treat, Rhonda! The dialogue between these two is excellent in its credibility, defining the characters of both and the battle that seems irreconcilable at this stage. You were spot-on to introduce Hades gradually to us, luring the reader into his seductive web. Echo, we now know, is strong enough to resist him and that augurs well for the future, whatever that might involve. Well done, Rhonda. No errors noted and an exceptional read, helpfully reminding us of details from the past to add coherence to the plot. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Oh yes, heating up a treat, Rhonda! The dialogue between these two is excellent in its credibility, defining the characters of both and the battle that seems irreconcilable at this stage. You were spot-on to introduce Hades gradually to us, luring the reader into his seductive web. Echo, we now know, is strong enough to resist him and that augurs well for the future, whatever that might involve. Well done, Rhonda. No errors noted and an exceptional read, helpfully reminding us of details from the past to add coherence to the plot. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Debbie, thank you for the six stars and for the beautiful comments. You gave me a very big smile!!
All the things you mentioned are things I worked on in the chapter, so I'm glad they stood out. This chapter I actually had more time, believe it or not, to iron out before I posted it. Last time I just tossed it out there and hoped for the best, lol.
I'm glad it helped to remind of the past chapters. I know it's really hard to keep up on a site where we read so many people's work.
I really do appreciate you,
Rhonda
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You're welcome, Rhonda. I could tell that this one flowed and came together beautifully, allowing for the complexities of your plot to shine through. Such a challenging story so well done for this exceptional chapter!
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Thank you so much!! Your reviews are good enough to be posts, lol! You're the best!
Comment from nomi338
Poor fool that Hades is. He may have studied human women, but obviously not carefully enough. There is no hatred and stuborn force of will than that which exists within the heart and soul of a woman trapped into a relationship that she abhors. I am sure that to his horror and regret Hades will come to recognize this fact after it is too late for him and his intentions.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Poor fool that Hades is. He may have studied human women, but obviously not carefully enough. There is no hatred and stuborn force of will than that which exists within the heart and soul of a woman trapped into a relationship that she abhors. I am sure that to his horror and regret Hades will come to recognize this fact after it is too late for him and his intentions.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi,
You're right about Hades. He thinks force will get him what he wants, but it's that force that always keeps women at bay. A gentler approach might get him what he wants!!
Thanks for reading and reviewing,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
This is a really good chapter, Rhonda. It flowed smoothly from beginning to end. There was a lot of emotion expressed by these two characters. I like how you brought in the dream that Echo had had, and it seemed to be brought out in this encounter. I see it as a battle of wills, and Echo doesn't back down. However, I am guessing that Hades isn't someone you challenge.
It is interesting to learn that Hades started the fire that took her parents from her. He becomes more overbearing as the chapter goes one, and is confident that he will break her will so that she will beg to be with him. I think that goodness triumphs over evil, and that Theo and his parents have more to do with things than Hades will admit. He is a good representation of the modern day bully. He knows that Echo has an attraction to him, but she is strong willed, too, and shows it at the end of the chapter.
I look forward to the next episode. You are doing a great job with this.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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This is a really good chapter, Rhonda. It flowed smoothly from beginning to end. There was a lot of emotion expressed by these two characters. I like how you brought in the dream that Echo had had, and it seemed to be brought out in this encounter. I see it as a battle of wills, and Echo doesn't back down. However, I am guessing that Hades isn't someone you challenge.
It is interesting to learn that Hades started the fire that took her parents from her. He becomes more overbearing as the chapter goes one, and is confident that he will break her will so that she will beg to be with him. I think that goodness triumphs over evil, and that Theo and his parents have more to do with things than Hades will admit. He is a good representation of the modern day bully. He knows that Echo has an attraction to him, but she is strong willed, too, and shows it at the end of the chapter.
I look forward to the next episode. You are doing a great job with this.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi Pam,
Thank you for the six stars and the excellent review!
It was a battle of wills and I'm not sure either won, not yet anyway. For him, Hades is playing nice. Like you said, he's not one you want to challenge. She knows that, and will find that out even more later.
The part you said about Theo's parents is something I just brought up in this chapter. Echo has always thought of them as being in the background, sort of bystanders, but Hades has to admit they are protecting her.
You're right about Hades representing bullies. He very much shows hedonistic and narcissistic tendencies. Hades is used to using his good looks and charismatic nature to win people over. This is often the case with crazy leaders.
Thank you ever so much,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. Thanks for sharing in your reply. I guess Hades isn't far removed from some people today who use their looks "to gain an advantage," at least that's what they think😊😊
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That's exactly what I'm trying to do with this work. Mix together the myth with the reality. The Greek/Roman gods were very human-like. I'm trying to relate them to us, while hold on a bit to legend. In the end, I'm going to re-write their legend...just a little.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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Thanks for sharing, Rhonda. I like what you're doing and it is working well. I can understand making some changes here and there since it is a novel. Kudos to you for tackling it!
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, so now we have more of the background of why Echo was brought there and why Hades wants her - not really love but to use her. That does sound like something the evil one would do - just as he murdered her parents for his desire to get her sooner. Echo is already showing her "perseverance." And who is to say that Theo won't be proclaims among the Twelve soon? Great job with this chapter!
In case you didn't fix this typo yet:
Echo fought the impulse to wretch (retch)
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Ah, so now we have more of the background of why Echo was brought there and why Hades wants her - not really love but to use her. That does sound like something the evil one would do - just as he murdered her parents for his desire to get her sooner. Echo is already showing her "perseverance." And who is to say that Theo won't be proclaims among the Twelve soon? Great job with this chapter!
In case you didn't fix this typo yet:
Echo fought the impulse to wretch (retch)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Hi Helen,
Thank you for the six stars and for your much valued comments! I think of you often when I?m writing these chapters because of your knowledge of the Lord, and of Greek language and culture. Thank you for bringing both to the table.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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Been thinking of you and your family with your mother-in-law's homegoing. 💖💞🙏🙏
Great job with your story - I'm seeing more metaphorical ways to read the story - more of how Death and the evil one vies for the human soul.
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It's hard to catch things when you have to read chapters so distanced like we do on this site, but it is what it is. I'm glad you got to see the allegory piece in this book. In the ends, I'm going to draw it all together in a summary chapter. Tolkien was so good and so subtle with his. I don't even stand in his shadow, but I look up to him as a writer. CS Lewis is another I read for inspiration.
I appreciate you,
Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
This is an intriguing chapter...especially interesting is the conversation between Echo and Hades. You have a wonderful imagination and the ability to fit everything together in such an excellent way. Love it!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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This is an intriguing chapter...especially interesting is the conversation between Echo and Hades. You have a wonderful imagination and the ability to fit everything together in such an excellent way. Love it!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2024
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Hi Lily,
Thank you so much for the six stars, my friend!! I appreciate your comments on what you liked about it.
Hugs,
Rhonda