Words from the sideline
All supporters of sport have something to say.15 total reviews
Comment from Sharon Elwell
It's a fun challenge you set for yourself! I could understand the whole story of the game with those few snippets of dialogue. As a grandma who has put in plenty of bleacher time, it made sense to me. Clever writing!
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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It's a fun challenge you set for yourself! I could understand the whole story of the game with those few snippets of dialogue. As a grandma who has put in plenty of bleacher time, it made sense to me. Clever writing!
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Sharon,
Thanks so much for your review. I am glad you liked it. I took a bit of a different approach and overall it has gone well. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from jmdg1954
Good commentary using dialogue only and 50 words of the talk and banter happening at a sports event.
With my three kids, I've been through, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer and bowling and each has its own distinguished dialogues.
Most of the times it was fun , though on a few occasions it became heated, at the fault of the parents.
Thank you for sharing.
John
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
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Good commentary using dialogue only and 50 words of the talk and banter happening at a sports event.
With my three kids, I've been through, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer and bowling and each has its own distinguished dialogues.
Most of the times it was fun , though on a few occasions it became heated, at the fault of the parents.
Thank you for sharing.
John
Comment Written 02-May-2024
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
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John,
Thanks for your review. I thought I would do something a little different. Yes, if there is any trouble it is usually the parents. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Mark Jackson
This one-sided dialogue accurately portrays the close minutes of a football match. The one-sided nature of the writing boost the excitement level quite a task in just 50 words.
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
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This one-sided dialogue accurately portrays the close minutes of a football match. The one-sided nature of the writing boost the excitement level quite a task in just 50 words.
Comment Written 02-May-2024
reply by the author on 02-May-2024
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Mark,
Thanks for your review. I thought I would try something different. Glad you enjoyed it. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I like the idea of just using dialogue and then to have it spoken disjointedly by random supporters. It cleverly captures the atmosphere of a football game and is neatly contained in that very challenging word count. Well done and good luck in the contest, Barry. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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I like the idea of just using dialogue and then to have it spoken disjointedly by random supporters. It cleverly captures the atmosphere of a football game and is neatly contained in that very challenging word count. Well done and good luck in the contest, Barry. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thanks Debbie. A little different but I am glad you enjoyed it. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Cheers
Barry
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I was a 6-8 grade girls' coach for basketball , so I used a lot of these words, a lot of these phrases. But I also loved watching my former students in high school when I was a nun. I got to see my favorite boy playing on their high school team. Oh man had they gotten good.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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I was a 6-8 grade girls' coach for basketball , so I used a lot of these words, a lot of these phrases. But I also loved watching my former students in high school when I was a nun. I got to see my favorite boy playing on their high school team. Oh man had they gotten good.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Liz,
Thanks for the review and I am so glad you enjoyed it. Yes, you would have seen a lot of games from the sideline. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing. My rear end having blessed many bleachers, and I watched my four sons play football. Your dialogue was very peaceful compared to most of it. LOL I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you for sharing. My rear end having blessed many bleachers, and I watched my four sons play football. Your dialogue was very peaceful compared to most of it. LOL I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thanks Barbara for your review. A little bit of a different approach. Glad you enjoyed it and I am sure you heard a lost stronger words during the games you attended. So have I.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Douglas Goff
I totally relate. I have had six kids in various sports and have heard it all, including some nasty stuff.
Interesting fifty worded and I think it is great that you went dialogue only. Kept one intrigued.
D
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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I totally relate. I have had six kids in various sports and have heard it all, including some nasty stuff.
Interesting fifty worded and I think it is great that you went dialogue only. Kept one intrigued.
D
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Doug,
Thanks for your review. Glad you liked it and yes with six kids I am sure you have heard plenty.
Take care and have a great day.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.
Comment from GoWiSt
"All supporters of sport have something to say." Uh, as we naturally should.
I'm guessing the reference to 'off side' signals that this was a football/soccer game?
And 'bugger' is an English/Australian expression?
Hope you had fun at the game and that your grandson's team won. Good 50-word, dialogue-only flash fiction. I can so relate.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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"All supporters of sport have something to say." Uh, as we naturally should.
I'm guessing the reference to 'off side' signals that this was a football/soccer game?
And 'bugger' is an English/Australian expression?
Hope you had fun at the game and that your grandson's team won. Good 50-word, dialogue-only flash fiction. I can so relate.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the review. Unfortunately, they lost on that day but have since recorded a win. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This was interesting, different, and fun. I feel like you took me behind the scenes to listen in on the players and coach, out of sight of the public. I especially liked the encouraging final statement, "Good game everyone."
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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This was interesting, different, and fun. I feel like you took me behind the scenes to listen in on the players and coach, out of sight of the public. I especially liked the encouraging final statement, "Good game everyone."
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed the read. A little different for sure but I tend to like different. As mentioned I could have made it longer but the tendency to insert a more graphic depiction of the language sometimes used was very strong.
Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was very creative. These snippets of dialogue provide a snapshot of a sports event. Despite the ups and downs, the final sentiment of "Good game everyone" is perfect! It shows us the spirit of sportsmanship. Love that.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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I thought this was very creative. These snippets of dialogue provide a snapshot of a sports event. Despite the ups and downs, the final sentiment of "Good game everyone" is perfect! It shows us the spirit of sportsmanship. Love that.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Michael,
Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed it. It is a bit different but hey it seems to work ok. Also glad you got the idea behind it all.
Cheers
Barry Penfold.