Trees Tremble
Haiku14 total reviews
Comment from GoWiSt
"Trees Tremble" Good alliteration and personification.
Nice complementary picture art choice.
Nicely met the line and sylable count of a haiku poem--with something about nature as its topic.
Good imagery, which puts me right in the scene.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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"Trees Tremble" Good alliteration and personification.
Nice complementary picture art choice.
Nicely met the line and sylable count of a haiku poem--with something about nature as its topic.
Good imagery, which puts me right in the scene.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much..
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Sanku,
Thank you for participating in the haiku club event. You wrote a great entry with a good syllable count and connection between lines. A beautiful presentation and imagery.
suggestion....
trees tremble 3
as winds gently pass between them~ 8
soon there will be snow 5
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Sanku,
Thank you for participating in the haiku club event. You wrote a great entry with a good syllable count and connection between lines. A beautiful presentation and imagery.
suggestion....
trees tremble 3
as winds gently pass between them~ 8
soon there will be snow 5
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much for the review and suggestions. I loved 'soon there will be snow' -so much better than my line..I will take off the articles too..
Comment from Mark Jackson
I am offering this as advice and I am not doing so to say that your work is wrong. What I do when I finish a Haiku is think about every word and ask what is it adding. I will often try to replace words like 'the' or 'them' with an adjective. Incidentally, I love the first line: The trees tremble there 'The' is adding to the alliteration and earning its place. That says so much more. great wor.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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I am offering this as advice and I am not doing so to say that your work is wrong. What I do when I finish a Haiku is think about every word and ask what is it adding. I will often try to replace words like 'the' or 'them' with an adjective. Incidentally, I love the first line: The trees tremble there 'The' is adding to the alliteration and earning its place. That says so much more. great wor.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2024
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Thank you for taking time to for giving the suggestions. I have made some changes .Gypsy also gave suggestions. Thanks again.
Comment from jaded831
I can feel the chilling wind, and the anticipation of snow. Your words painted a picture and created an emotion. I don't know if the picture does anything for your words except make the presentation more attractive.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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I can feel the chilling wind, and the anticipation of snow. Your words painted a picture and created an emotion. I don't know if the picture does anything for your words except make the presentation more attractive.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by...I am particularly happy about what you wrote...
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I just loved this. The title draws us right in. What a statement! Then as we pull up your work, the artistry of the picture astounds us. You manage to tell us the entire story in so few words. Nicely done. Karen
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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I just loved this. The title draws us right in. What a statement! Then as we pull up your work, the artistry of the picture astounds us. You manage to tell us the entire story in so few words. Nicely done. Karen
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much Karen .I am so glad you liked it enough to give me a golden stars.. I am sorry for the delay in replying...
Comment from zanya
Yes this well constructed Haiku invites us to experience the onset of winter season as 'trees tremble' with the coming of winter winds and the prospect of snow falling.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Yes this well constructed Haiku invites us to experience the onset of winter season as 'trees tremble' with the coming of winter winds and the prospect of snow falling.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from lyenochka
Even though the winds are gentle, the trees have a premonition of the cold winter season to come. Great use of alliteration and personification in your haiku!
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Even though the winds are gentle, the trees have a premonition of the cold winter season to come. Great use of alliteration and personification in your haiku!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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YES .You got my meaning exactly Thank you for dropping by.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Love the imagery of the leafless tree shivering or trembling when a chilly gust of wind comes along. Haiku is written to make you see and feel. You hit the nail on the head with this one. Wonderful poem. Gretchen
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Love the imagery of the leafless tree shivering or trembling when a chilly gust of wind comes along. Haiku is written to make you see and feel. You hit the nail on the head with this one. Wonderful poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much .
Comment from Brenda Strauser
What a beautiful poem. I enjoyed reading it. The picture is also beautiful, it is so colorful. I like the words: the trees temple as . Great job on this poem.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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What a beautiful poem. I enjoyed reading it. The picture is also beautiful, it is so colorful. I like the words: the trees temple as . Great job on this poem.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I'm wondering after reading this. Are you from Australia? I can never remember where my friends are from. I did enjoy reading.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I'm wondering after reading this. Are you from Australia? I can never remember where my friends are from. I did enjoy reading.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2024
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No NO I am in INdia where it is blisteringly hot as well as humid. Haiku had to mention a season .I chose 'winter'..Thanks for dropping by.