My First Memory
Can you recall your first memory?8 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
I think you got the requirements (line and syllable counts) right for this contest. This sounds like a great first memory. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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I think you got the requirements (line and syllable counts) right for this contest. This sounds like a great first memory. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much, jessizero, for your review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is cute! An ekphrastic verse capturing that one little child in the painting, representing the joys and determination of childhood. Nicely done! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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This is cute! An ekphrastic verse capturing that one little child in the painting, representing the joys and determination of childhood. Nicely done! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much, Debbie, for your wonderful review.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Love the written vision as well as the chosen artwork... Funny how those memories seem to come back at the strangest of times, yeah? Great entry and good luck in the contest!! ;)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Love the written vision as well as the chosen artwork... Funny how those memories seem to come back at the strangest of times, yeah? Great entry and good luck in the contest!! ;)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, Y.M. Roger, for your enthusiastic response to my Naani.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Quite an illusion presented of an excited youngster, who can only toddle, in this case "round a pond," as a water fountain spurts, "trying to touch sailboat" that is just beyond their reach.
While trying to touch a sailboat reads better, the way that phrase is written leaves it in a child's voice, which befits the poem better.
4 lines, and 23 syllables, so meets the basic format of a naani poem.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Quite an illusion presented of an excited youngster, who can only toddle, in this case "round a pond," as a water fountain spurts, "trying to touch sailboat" that is just beyond their reach.
While trying to touch a sailboat reads better, the way that phrase is written leaves it in a child's voice, which befits the poem better.
4 lines, and 23 syllables, so meets the basic format of a naani poem.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Brett, for sharing my poem and the good suggestion.
Comment from Douglas Goff
These Naani are interesting. I do enjoy how they flow.
My first memory? Not sure because I remember many things from a young age, but an unsure of their chronological order. One poignant memory is my daddy driving away in his car with all his stuff packed in, us three kids sitting in a row on the steps watching him go.
Not so much as a look back as he headed off to his new life with his secretary.
Sad
D
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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These Naani are interesting. I do enjoy how they flow.
My first memory? Not sure because I remember many things from a young age, but an unsure of their chronological order. One poignant memory is my daddy driving away in his car with all his stuff packed in, us three kids sitting in a row on the steps watching him go.
Not so much as a look back as he headed off to his new life with his secretary.
Sad
D
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Doug, for sharing my poem and your first memory. What a sad one that must have been for you.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Naani Poem writing prompt. Cute poem and the artwork goes well with the presentation. I am wondering if that is something you actually remember or something you made up for the poem because my memories sure don't go that far back. lol Nicely done.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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An excellent entry for the Naani Poem writing prompt. Cute poem and the artwork goes well with the presentation. I am wondering if that is something you actually remember or something you made up for the poem because my memories sure don't go that far back. lol Nicely done.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Ah, Marilyn, you ask tough questions. The picture inspired the poem. Many thanks for sharing and praising my Naani.
Comment from JanPerry
Trying to touch (a) sailboat it is. It's short and sweet. I know U have a syllable count but it still has to make sense. "A tad too far beyond" is an advanced sentence for a toddler. I gave it a four star poem.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Trying to touch (a) sailboat it is. It's short and sweet. I know U have a syllable count but it still has to make sense. "A tad too far beyond" is an advanced sentence for a toddler. I gave it a four star poem.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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I appreciate your review and comments, Jan, but you misinterpreted my intent. The Speaker is OLDER and looking back to the first memory he recalls, that of being a toddler.
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Okay
Comment from shelley kaye
the first memory i can remember is at a preschool and riding those big wheel bikes - not wanting to get off lol!
great naani about a toddler toddling around
good imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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the first memory i can remember is at a preschool and riding those big wheel bikes - not wanting to get off lol!
great naani about a toddler toddling around
good imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, Shelley. I am glad this poem brought back your own first memory.