Reviews from

The Streets of Giza

A glimpse into ancient Egypt

5 total reviews 
Comment from M_Esther
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a powerful poem. Every line holds deep meaning and emotion. You use strong images and well-chosen words to help me imagine the scene. The last two lines are my favorite. I'm glad this did well in the contest!

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    Thank you so much for the 6-star review! <3
    A little secret, the last two lines were my favorite as well!
    I'm so glad you enjoyed this poem - have a great weekend
    Best,
    Videl
Comment from tempeste
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ciao mystery poet, you now had 5 votes.

When I was at school, I was taught that the pyramids were built by slaves.

A few years ago I read that the pyramids instead were built by the Egyptian , the communities considered it a privilege .

Either way , it was clearly hard work and millions die on the construction site.


Despite some 5 thousand years have passed , and the giant steps mankind has made, to better life as a whole , there are still many people across the globe who don't live any better than those in Giza.

The topic was interesting!

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    I was taught the same thing! I didn't realize until I started researching for this poem that it wasn't the case! Sadly by the time I realized I already had an idea in my head, so I just decided to dedicate it to the portrayal seen in 'The Prince of Egypt.'
    Thank you so much for the kind review, and have a great weekend!
    Videl
reply by tempeste on 13-Apr-2024
    I like your topics and your poetry 🙂

    Keep safe ! 🍀
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi
With the artwork and the words, it seems obvious that this is about the Jews in slavery in Egypt. Three years old seems a little early to start working. It shows how horrible that time was. As any slavery is.
I don't know that a lot of the people here would have recognized the Hebrew, but it would seem to fit. Those single lines seem to be the slave's thoughts.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Enjoy the rest of your week.
Joan

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    Thank you so much for the kind review! It's funny, before I started writing this poem I was under the impression that the enslaved Jews were the ones who helped build the pyramids and other large statues, (most likely from growing up watching the Prince of Egypt and other such movies.)
    As I was researching for this though, I found out that, while they were enslaved, they weren't the ones who built those! Apparently slaves were not used to build the pyramids, it was all paid laborers!
    After finding this out, I just decided to dedicate it to the movie portrayal because I didn't want to scrap the piece! It was so interesting to learn all of this! My idea for the Hebrew was to have the lines and then the meanings underneath, so sad it didn't work out :(
    Have a great weekend!
    Videl
reply by dragonpoet on 12-Apr-2024
    You?re welcome, Videl
    The slaves were Hebrew Slavs erected a lot of gigantic states for the pharaohs and some city buildings is what I thought.
    Joan
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    You're probably right! I really need to do some more reading on it all! It's such an interesting subject :)
Comment from Mark Jackson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That is really good. The problem is I am reading all the entries for the free verse competition and they are all so good except one. I am afraid, I am going to have to vote for that one. Otherwise, I might not get a vote at all. Good luck in the competition. shame about the glyphs but on the positive I read English.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    Thank you so much for the kind words! I agree - but I loved all the entries, so I'm sure I liked yours as well :)
    Best,
    Videl
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this original and well-crafted free verse. An ekphrastic poem, perhaps, reflecting the image in the art form. You capture a sense of life in those ancient times, using your imagination to create the poverty, the heat, the slave labour of the child and the pain. This is a powerful and emotive verse that strikes at the core. An excellent summation too especially in the last line. Small edit: yoke instead of yolk (relating to an egg). Well done and good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
    Thank you so much for the review! (I would've never noticed the yolk/yoke mistake if you hadn't told me haha) It didn't start out that way, but you are right in thinking that it ended up an ekphrastic poem!
    I hope you have an amazing weekend,
    Best,
    Videl