The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 8"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
13 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh man, you ramped up the intrigue and suspense in this chapter. You had me gnawing on my fingernails on this one!! A creepy graveyard with names on them of the people she had been talking to, then the mysterious 4th grave. Then the stranger with the warning!!! I'm glad I don't have to wait to read the next chapter, lol
Good stuff,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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Oh man, you ramped up the intrigue and suspense in this chapter. You had me gnawing on my fingernails on this one!! A creepy graveyard with names on them of the people she had been talking to, then the mysterious 4th grave. Then the stranger with the warning!!! I'm glad I don't have to wait to read the next chapter, lol
Good stuff,
Rhonda
Comment Written 13-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2024
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I love to see that you are feeling the suspense.... especially since I've struggled with this entire book wondering if I was doing it right. Thanks again!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I love the depth and complexity of this novel. The story is more complex than a few characters interacting with one another. You've included mystery, suspense, and ghosts. There's a lot to stimulate my imagination. Who is the new Familiar Stranger? And how does Lorrie always pop up aware of everything? I'm loving this.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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I love the depth and complexity of this novel. The story is more complex than a few characters interacting with one another. You've included mystery, suspense, and ghosts. There's a lot to stimulate my imagination. Who is the new Familiar Stranger? And how does Lorrie always pop up aware of everything? I'm loving this.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Oh, that makes me so happy to hear that you are caught up in the web of mystery and my ghosts. I worried about writing about them since I have little experience, but I am thrilled you are enjoying it. Ahhh...and our sweet Lorrie...she has her finger on everything, now doesn't she?
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
And who is this familiar.stranger, warn in her of danger when she moves around in the mansion, who is he, and just what is the danger she's talking about, Lorrie turns up, she turns to see the stranger's gone, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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And who is this familiar.stranger, warn in her of danger when she moves around in the mansion, who is he, and just what is the danger she's talking about, Lorrie turns up, she turns to see the stranger's gone, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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thanks Roy. Writing about ghosts is a new one for me and I never know whether I am getting it right or not. Glad you enjoyed!
Smiles, Carol
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The other Carol has the child?s deceased Nonni turning up, a great thing for, my wife and granddaughter had imaginary friends, you can mould it anyway you like. Just don?t make it a familiar spirits, we have the Holy Spirit
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No spirit will every replace any part of the trilogy, I promise.
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Of course
Comment from Wendy G
Carol, This is a creepy story, and it gave me goosebumps!!! The plot is dense, and Sandra is pretty much alone in her efforts to work out what is happening, and there seems to be some graves of people who are still alive, or are they really supernatural beings? Do we trust Lorrie? I wish Sandra had more security for her bedroom and that she had found a more secure place for the book. Well written.
Wendy
Edit?:The man turned to her and spoke in a low, gravelly voice. "I mean, you know harm, Sandra. ("I mean you no harm"?)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Carol, This is a creepy story, and it gave me goosebumps!!! The plot is dense, and Sandra is pretty much alone in her efforts to work out what is happening, and there seems to be some graves of people who are still alive, or are they really supernatural beings? Do we trust Lorrie? I wish Sandra had more security for her bedroom and that she had found a more secure place for the book. Well written.
Wendy
Edit?:The man turned to her and spoke in a low, gravelly voice. "I mean, you know harm, Sandra. ("I mean you no harm"?)
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Hey, if you got goosebumps, then maybe I am achieving what I thought I couldn't do. Thanks for the review and for the help.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Madeline is definitely a fly in the ointment. I hope she doesn't have murderous thoughts. The stranger in the carriage house is, I assume a ghost, and he is scary. Lorrie is so sweet, but could she also be dangerous? Very good chapter that brings up a lot of questions.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Madeline is definitely a fly in the ointment. I hope she doesn't have murderous thoughts. The stranger in the carriage house is, I assume a ghost, and he is scary. Lorrie is so sweet, but could she also be dangerous? Very good chapter that brings up a lot of questions.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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These ghosts have my head swirling around as I try to figure out what they are up to... and a note for you... I could never have Lorrie be anything but sweet. Thanks so much for the kind review and the awesome stars. I am thrilled.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
It's great to have another chapter! So much tension and mystery.
Some fun grammar for you:-)
1.Despite its small size, Sandra
(Misplaced modifier. You just called Sandra an it and small sized. The closest noun to the phrase gets ownership)
She felt as if someone was watching her.
(Subjunctive tense: as if someone were watching...)
It's just another old cemetery, and it seems very well-kept,
(No hyphen. The well-kept cemetery is well kept.)
Great job!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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It's great to have another chapter! So much tension and mystery.
Some fun grammar for you:-)
1.Despite its small size, Sandra
(Misplaced modifier. You just called Sandra an it and small sized. The closest noun to the phrase gets ownership)
She felt as if someone was watching her.
(Subjunctive tense: as if someone were watching...)
It's just another old cemetery, and it seems very well-kept,
(No hyphen. The well-kept cemetery is well kept.)
Great job!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
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Good morning, my friend. Thanks for reading and reviewing and of course, for the kind suggestions. I always appreciate your help.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
See? Maybe this was a whole new thing and you wondered how it would go, but woman? You have hit your stride and then some! (The only thing I've guessed right so far is that Sandra would stumble on a graveyard!
This is progressing at a steady but unhurried pace. I can't WAIT until she realizes she's dealing with g-g-g-ghosts!
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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See? Maybe this was a whole new thing and you wondered how it would go, but woman? You have hit your stride and then some! (The only thing I've guessed right so far is that Sandra would stumble on a graveyard!
This is progressing at a steady but unhurried pace. I can't WAIT until she realizes she's dealing with g-g-g-ghosts!
Karenina
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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She's about to be there! Thanks for always being there to encourage me and to bear with me when I struggle. It's got some interesting twists if it goes right...that's a big if.
Smiles, Carol
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It's NEVER "a big if" with you, Carol. You always finesse it just right!
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thank you but I never know for sure!
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, an intriguing story story indeed, and I wonder where it will all lead. She has indeed wandered a little too far for her own safety. Now we'll see what will happen to her next. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Hi Carol, an intriguing story story indeed, and I wonder where it will all lead. She has indeed wandered a little too far for her own safety. Now we'll see what will happen to her next. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Thanks Ulla. I feel blessed for the great reviews I am getting with the story and never expected sixes because I was worried I couldn't write a ghost story. I truly appreciate your support and encouragement.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I don't think I've ever believed in or worried about ghosts, but I'm guessing that it might be about time to start rethinking things a bit. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Well, I don't think I've ever believed in or worried about ghosts, but I'm guessing that it might be about time to start rethinking things a bit. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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I don't believe in ghosts such as Halloween types, but I do believe angels or spirits are with us. When my mom was dying, I have a picture of a woman standing outside her hospital room that everyone swears is my daughter....She was a nurse and I believe she came to take my mom home. Just my way of thinking I guess.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm wondering since Sandra knows Madeline knows about the book, when Sandra went downstairs why'd she leave the book in her room. I would have taken it to keep it safe. Maybe I'm over thinking. I enjoyed reading.
Madeline coughed, "Tea and toast? (coughed.)
The man turned to her and spoke in a low, gravelly voice. "I mean, (voice,)
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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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I'm wondering since Sandra knows Madeline knows about the book, when Sandra went downstairs why'd she leave the book in her room. I would have taken it to keep it safe. Maybe I'm over thinking. I enjoyed reading.
Madeline coughed, "Tea and toast? (coughed.)
The man turned to her and spoke in a low, gravelly voice. "I mean, (voice,)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
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Corrected and appreciated.
Sandra probably should have taken the book with her, but she's overwhelmed and also new at this reporter thing. I left it there because in her rush...she didn't think it through.
(Besides.... how can I have Madeline return to steal it if it's gone? LOL)
thanks so much for the review and assistance as always.
Smiles, Carol
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Good point.