A Night To Remember
A 100 word flash fiction for your entertainment12 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. You have all the required elements for a short story. Good luck with the contest.
She too had an Irish whiskey and sat down next to Joseph. (sat beside Joseph. & before she came into the tavern, she'd had too much Irish whiskey??)
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. You have all the required elements for a short story. Good luck with the contest.
She too had an Irish whiskey and sat down next to Joseph. (sat beside Joseph. & before she came into the tavern, she'd had too much Irish whiskey??)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the 5 star review and kind comments. Enjoy your sense of humor - J
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely written 100 word flash. I the lone man wasn't alone long. There is something about a cosy warm place on rainy night to make it a night to remember. I like the unexpected comment made by the shapely lady. The he pours gave it a nice. It sounds like she was poured into her outfit as well.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Nicely written 100 word flash. I the lone man wasn't alone long. There is something about a cosy warm place on rainy night to make it a night to remember. I like the unexpected comment made by the shapely lady. The he pours gave it a nice. It sounds like she was poured into her outfit as well.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thanks for the great review, It was fun to write.
Comment from jessizero
I did enjoy this short spoof, as you called it! You did a good job setting the scene and delivering the punchline in just one hundred words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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I did enjoy this short spoof, as you called it! You did a good job setting the scene and delivering the punchline in just one hundred words. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the excellent review - Jerry
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An intimate encounter here as these two escape the rain and enjoy a whiskey together, a fine flash fiction Jerome, good luck with the contest, I was entertained, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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An intimate encounter here as these two escape the rain and enjoy a whiskey together, a fine flash fiction Jerome, good luck with the contest, I was entertained, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Dolly - thanks for the "excellent" review. Coming from you, it means a lot - Jerry
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is a cute and fun story. Makes me wonder if they knew each other.
One suggestion:
She wore tight black slack and an even tighter green sweater.
(Slacks).
Just my two cents. Great read. Good luck!
D
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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This is a cute and fun story. Makes me wonder if they knew each other.
One suggestion:
She wore tight black slack and an even tighter green sweater.
(Slacks).
Just my two cents. Great read. Good luck!
D
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review and catching my error -J
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
I enjoyed this 100 word flash fiction. The ending was clever and unexpected. Good luck in the contest. Your rating has been adjusted since you made the correction.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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I enjoyed this 100 word flash fiction. The ending was clever and unexpected. Good luck in the contest. Your rating has been adjusted since you made the correction.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2024
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Thanks for your kind review and I will making the edits today - j
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have crafted a compelling 100 word story about a memorable rainy night enjoyed by two people. The final sentence with a creative play on words makes the story pop. Best wishes in the contest.
Edits:
he made his to the bar (made his 'way' to the bar)
tight black slack (black 'slacks')
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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You have crafted a compelling 100 word story about a memorable rainy night enjoyed by two people. The final sentence with a creative play on words makes the story pop. Best wishes in the contest.
Edits:
he made his to the bar (made his 'way' to the bar)
tight black slack (black 'slacks')
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that i need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that I need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, A Night to Remember, has the proper word count (almost). You are missing a word in one sentence, and you have a misspelled word in another. The punch line was funny, however.
Unnoticed(,) he made his (way) to the bar and ordered a Jameson Irish whiskey.
She wore tight black slack(s) and an even tighter green sweater.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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This one-hundred-word story, A Night to Remember, has the proper word count (almost). You are missing a word in one sentence, and you have a misspelled word in another. The punch line was funny, however.
Unnoticed(,) he made his (way) to the bar and ordered a Jameson Irish whiskey.
She wore tight black slack(s) and an even tighter green sweater.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that i need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that i need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that I need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.
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You're welcome x 3
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hahaha. Ba-doomp, boomp; CHINNNNNGGGG!
Cute tale with descriptions so perfect, I could envision every last nuance.
A couple teeny spags:
This one: Unnoticed he made his to the bar... needs a comma after 'unnoticed' AND, I believe the word 'way' is missing after 'his,' which could cause a problem with your word count.
And here:
She wore tight black slack and an even tighter green ... needs an 's' after 'slack.'
Everything else is letter-perfect.
Hope it does well for you in the contest! xo
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Hahaha. Ba-doomp, boomp; CHINNNNNGGGG!
Cute tale with descriptions so perfect, I could envision every last nuance.
A couple teeny spags:
This one: Unnoticed he made his to the bar... needs a comma after 'unnoticed' AND, I believe the word 'way' is missing after 'his,' which could cause a problem with your word count.
And here:
She wore tight black slack and an even tighter green ... needs an 's' after 'slack.'
Everything else is letter-perfect.
Hope it does well for you in the contest! xo
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that I need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.
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I re-read a story of mine five times and still miss glaring errors. I don't know what that's all about; I just know we ALL need an extra pair of eyes (or more) to perfect our work. I trust you'll have my back when it comes to that, too! xo
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Yes, I did enjoy this. There's something very inviting about coming into the warm from the rain outside to enjoy an Irish whiskey. And then to meet a stunning woman who's doing the same thing. This must be like dying and going to heaven:)) You crafted the story well, creating an immersive atmosphere for the reader and locking us into your seductive scene! Some small edits: Unnoticed(,) he made his (way) to the bar; She wore tight black slack(s); Aren't you glad that(,) when it rains, it pours! Nicely done, Jerome! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Yes, I did enjoy this. There's something very inviting about coming into the warm from the rain outside to enjoy an Irish whiskey. And then to meet a stunning woman who's doing the same thing. This must be like dying and going to heaven:)) You crafted the story well, creating an immersive atmosphere for the reader and locking us into your seductive scene! Some small edits: Unnoticed(,) he made his (way) to the bar; She wore tight black slack(s); Aren't you glad that(,) when it rains, it pours! Nicely done, Jerome! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the gracious review and editorial comments. I guess that I need to improve my proofreading skills. I will edit the story. Thanks again for your help.
