Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Right in the Eye, ch 8"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
12 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
Well this is not good. I hope you figure out a way he doesn't have to stay in jail. I doubt if their would be a way to trace him with his real name after all these years. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Well this is not good. I hope you figure out a way he doesn't have to stay in jail. I doubt if their would be a way to trace him with his real name after all these years. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I think God has His hand on Slim's life.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I love your writing style, if I haven't told you before. Your language is authentic for what you've built your character to be.
He's in a bit of trouble right now for his involvement of the killing of Jackson, which no one really cares is dead because he was an abuser.
Now they've gone and run his prints, so we don't know what's going to happen to our extremely aged Slim.
Take care and enjoy your weekend,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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I love your writing style, if I haven't told you before. Your language is authentic for what you've built your character to be.
He's in a bit of trouble right now for his involvement of the killing of Jackson, which no one really cares is dead because he was an abuser.
Now they've gone and run his prints, so we don't know what's going to happen to our extremely aged Slim.
Take care and enjoy your weekend,
Rhonda
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you. Yes, Slim is in a pickle.
I appreciate your great review.
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He seems to fall into a whole pickle barrel real often, hehe. Nice, unique story,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
How did he get a Medicare card? Was that issued when he was in the institution?
I'm unsure what Slim will do; if they trace him back to the hospital, he'll be toast. Of course, I'm rootin' for a happy ending, but I don't think so . . .
Good chapter, Wayne.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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How did he get a Medicare card? Was that issued when he was in the institution?
I'm unsure what Slim will do; if they trace him back to the hospital, he'll be toast. Of course, I'm rootin' for a happy ending, but I don't think so . . .
Good chapter, Wayne.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I was hopin' no one would question the medicare card. But that was how the institution got paid. Maybe I'll just lose the card since he'll never use it anyway.
Not to despair, we are a ways from the ending. (smiley face here)
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter in my puzzle about Slim. I have a few pieces to complete the picture. That is what makes reading so wonderful: You, the writer, have to fill in the pieces. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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This is another excellent chapter in my puzzle about Slim. I have a few pieces to complete the picture. That is what makes reading so wonderful: You, the writer, have to fill in the pieces. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your very kind review.
Comment from lyenochka
Hang on? But you promised us Ben Paul a while ago! Lol. Well, I can see the potential for comedy not just because of Slim's real name but because of the very unusual situation he is in and how he can convince the detectives of the veracity of it all.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Hang on? But you promised us Ben Paul a while ago! Lol. Well, I can see the potential for comedy not just because of Slim's real name but because of the very unusual situation he is in and how he can convince the detectives of the veracity of it all.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you. (smiley face here)
Slim is concerned that he might be taken under the government's control.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a pivotal point in Slim's story. If they actually follow his story all the way back, it is going to be even more confusing to everyone. I do wonder why Marian didn't notice he didn't have tags on the van and help him get it registered.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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This is a pivotal point in Slim's story. If they actually follow his story all the way back, it is going to be even more confusing to everyone. I do wonder why Marian didn't notice he didn't have tags on the van and help him get it registered.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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He has no I.D.
Slim is in a pickle.
Thank you for your very nice review.,
Comment from Jim Wile
I knew that name would come back to haunt him one day.
This was an exciting chapter, and now it appears Slim has some real explaining to do. I wonder how he'll talk his way out of this one. Will the truth come out about his age? I guess we'll find out.
I wasn't quite clear on this paragraph: "Ralph was minding the motel when Jackson drove up. Ralph said he'd never before left out again after only a few minutes. Then he saw Jackson come back on foot, going around back to Marian's." Who is Ralph, and when did this happen? Maybe I missed a chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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I knew that name would come back to haunt him one day.
This was an exciting chapter, and now it appears Slim has some real explaining to do. I wonder how he'll talk his way out of this one. Will the truth come out about his age? I guess we'll find out.
I wasn't quite clear on this paragraph: "Ralph was minding the motel when Jackson drove up. Ralph said he'd never before left out again after only a few minutes. Then he saw Jackson come back on foot, going around back to Marian's." Who is Ralph, and when did this happen? Maybe I missed a chapter.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Ralph is Mary's part-time helper.
He was on duty when Slim first checked in when he arrived in Cerrillos. But I think I have a POV issue in this paragraph, since it's 1st person, Slim. Thank you.
Comment from jim vecchio
This was another great installment in your book and keeps the reader anticipating what follows. I am glad Jackson got what is coming to him. Wish you had spent more time on the struggle. I remember a GUNSMOKE TV show where was a badman that Matt befriended (Ben Johnson) that raped and hurt a defenseless woman. When Matt got to him in the end, he beat him within a fraction of an inch of his life, and the viewers were all rooting for him. Jackson needed to be beast severely! Thank you for a thought-provoking series!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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This was another great installment in your book and keeps the reader anticipating what follows. I am glad Jackson got what is coming to him. Wish you had spent more time on the struggle. I remember a GUNSMOKE TV show where was a badman that Matt befriended (Ben Johnson) that raped and hurt a defenseless woman. When Matt got to him in the end, he beat him within a fraction of an inch of his life, and the viewers were all rooting for him. Jackson needed to be beast severely! Thank you for a thought-provoking series!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your great review!
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I love your story!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I get tired of saying the same things over and over, and I'm sure you get tired of hearing them. But fiction is about characters, and you certainly know how to make them . . . characters. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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I get tired of saying the same things over and over, and I'm sure you get tired of hearing them. But fiction is about characters, and you certainly know how to make them . . . characters. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you. (No it is not tiring.)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing does a great job of showing us the moments surrounding Slim's encounter with Jackson and the aftermath of the altercation. The dialogue and inner thoughts are well written. They do a great job of showing us the complex emotions and motivations of everyone involves. I especially like how you show Slim's internal struggle between taking the blame and telling the truth. Great job! Another strong chapter!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Your writing does a great job of showing us the moments surrounding Slim's encounter with Jackson and the aftermath of the altercation. The dialogue and inner thoughts are well written. They do a great job of showing us the complex emotions and motivations of everyone involves. I especially like how you show Slim's internal struggle between taking the blame and telling the truth. Great job! Another strong chapter!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I appreciate your great review.
