Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Right in the Eye, pt 6"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
12 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Boy howdee you do go on. He is walking proof that what he says is true. As hard as the math is. What is ,is, what is. So there!
You do a good yarn. I am caught up on your reviewing until you review more. Karen
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Boy howdee you do go on. He is walking proof that what he says is true. As hard as the math is. What is ,is, what is. So there!
You do a good yarn. I am caught up on your reviewing until you review more. Karen
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2024
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Hah! How ever can you keep score?
I've read many poems, but those short, little ones absolutely pucker my, well, anyway, I just can't get 150 characters to line up.
Best wishes.
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Right now I owe 99 reviews.And it gets worse. I am a writing fiend so I keep getting reviewed which adds more to the list. But everyone is nice and knows I will catch up. Because I do review one for one even If it takes mt a couple of weeks to do so right now, with all teh moving stuff, my mean body, and, well life! :-)
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Hmmm.
But you aren't sure whether I will catch up?
smiley face here
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Take your time:-)
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. It feels like your own Rumplestiltskin story that you have created for Slim. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. It feels like your own Rumplestiltskin story that you have created for Slim. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, now, if Mary believes Slim, she might be able to help him. And then again, Slim might be the one to help her of the mysterious abuser in her life. I like how you show the passage of time that Slim experienced as he notices the changes in the present time.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Well, now, if Mary believes Slim, she might be able to help him. And then again, Slim might be the one to help her of the mysterious abuser in her life. I like how you show the passage of time that Slim experienced as he notices the changes in the present time.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I hoped this plotline would work as we get to Ben Paul.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like that you dug into the reality of the situation a little better in this chapter.
I will have to learn to put my hair in a ponytail while cleaning my toilets:-)
"120" at the beginning of the paragraph near the end of the story should be written out.
Although we can surmise that Mary is related to LouAnne in some fashion, I don't think it should be in your author's notes until it's spelled out in the story. Gives it away.
Slim is clearly smitten, and Mary will believe him. That fat lip though - I think the "giver" of that is going to complicate things for poor Slim.
Good chapter, Wayne. Happy Easter:-)
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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I like that you dug into the reality of the situation a little better in this chapter.
I will have to learn to put my hair in a ponytail while cleaning my toilets:-)
"120" at the beginning of the paragraph near the end of the story should be written out.
Although we can surmise that Mary is related to LouAnne in some fashion, I don't think it should be in your author's notes until it's spelled out in the story. Gives it away.
Slim is clearly smitten, and Mary will believe him. That fat lip though - I think the "giver" of that is going to complicate things for poor Slim.
Good chapter, Wayne. Happy Easter:-)
xo
Pam
Comment Written 31-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2024
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Thank you. I'll make the fixes.
And Happy Easter to you, as well!
Comment from Wendy G
Poor Slim, it would be so hard to start again, and try to relate to people but know they would have no understanding of his situation. Suzanne is at least a very caring person, and is looking after him well. It will be interesting to watch him finding his way to real peace ....
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Poor Slim, it would be so hard to start again, and try to relate to people but know they would have no understanding of his situation. Suzanne is at least a very caring person, and is looking after him well. It will be interesting to watch him finding his way to real peace ....
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Thank you.
Suzanne helped him leave Denver. Mary owns the motel and has taken an interest in him in Cerrillos.
Thank you for accepting this story line. Change is coming. We still have to find Ben Paul.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always fun when you start filling in the pieces of your characters, chunk by chunk. I guess I could call it the meat of the matter. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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It's always fun when you start filling in the pieces of your characters, chunk by chunk. I guess I could call it the meat of the matter. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Thank you. I appreciate your very kind review.
Comment from Jim Wile
Slim is such an interesting character with a real dilemma--how to have people take you seriously when you are 120 years old and don't look your age. I love stories like this. It's reminiscent of a couple of movies I've seen like The Age of Adeline and The Man From Earth. What a fascinating story so far.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Slim is such an interesting character with a real dilemma--how to have people take you seriously when you are 120 years old and don't look your age. I love stories like this. It's reminiscent of a couple of movies I've seen like The Age of Adeline and The Man From Earth. What a fascinating story so far.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Thank you!
I'm still tryin' to get to Ben Paul.
Comment from jim vecchio
This was both timely and untimely. The latter because tomorrow is the day I get to spend six strs. Timely because Saturday is "Cowboy Day" and I always watch B and/or A westerns with my Cowboy hat on, of course. I'm getting addicted to Slim's story and hope you'll be camping out there for a long while.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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This was both timely and untimely. The latter because tomorrow is the day I get to spend six strs. Timely because Saturday is "Cowboy Day" and I always watch B and/or A westerns with my Cowboy hat on, of course. I'm getting addicted to Slim's story and hope you'll be camping out there for a long while.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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It'll be a bit. I'm still tryin' to get to Ben Paul.
thank you for your very nice review.
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Thank you for getting me in the western mood. I watched four back-to-back oldies from the forties.
Comment from Derek10644
Wow very well put together. That is one amazing poem you just wrote. I hope to see a lot more poetry from you because you have talent. I hope you have a good day and good good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Wow very well put together. That is one amazing poem you just wrote. I hope to see a lot more poetry from you because you have talent. I hope you have a good day and good good luck.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Uh... thanks?
I double-checked and still failed to see that I wrote a poem.
But thanks, anyway.
Comment from tfawcus
You have penned some sparkling dialogue for this tale, Wayne. A pleasure to read. I was smitten by some of your imagery, Her voice was pleasant, not like Suzanne's whose voice could freeze hot coffee. being a good example. A great chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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You have penned some sparkling dialogue for this tale, Wayne. A pleasure to read. I was smitten by some of your imagery, Her voice was pleasant, not like Suzanne's whose voice could freeze hot coffee. being a good example. A great chapter.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.
