Sandra's Lover
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Katie Girl"A macabre crime thriller. Grotesque and detailed.
2 total reviews
Comment from Barry Penfold
What an intriguing story. A sad and horrific one for sure but it did have me interested from start to finish. Well done and thanks for sharing. Take care and have a most wonderful day.
Cheers,
Barry Penfold
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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What an intriguing story. A sad and horrific one for sure but it did have me interested from start to finish. Well done and thanks for sharing. Take care and have a most wonderful day.
Cheers,
Barry Penfold
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Barry,
Thank you for your review. I hope you read the entire book and were able to understand the reason for this part of the story. I tend to warn people as the story is quite dark. As always I value your feedback.
Eileen
Comment from Dr. Nad
I want to encourage you in your writing. This does feel like a first draft to me. I would encourage you to edit and re-edit before you hit publish. There are a number of places where the flow is herky-jerky. I would encourage you to help the reader whenever you can to be able to follow a narrative that is engaging and also believable.
"One night when the family was all together and they had spent the night pouring over what evidence they did have as a group, they tired and soon enough they were all asleep." This sounds awkward
"She thought for a minute about waking her parents but decided to venture forth anyway. " this is a little girl and I can't see her "venturing forth"
Keep writing and expressing your literary talents.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I want to encourage you in your writing. This does feel like a first draft to me. I would encourage you to edit and re-edit before you hit publish. There are a number of places where the flow is herky-jerky. I would encourage you to help the reader whenever you can to be able to follow a narrative that is engaging and also believable.
"One night when the family was all together and they had spent the night pouring over what evidence they did have as a group, they tired and soon enough they were all asleep." This sounds awkward
"She thought for a minute about waking her parents but decided to venture forth anyway. " this is a little girl and I can't see her "venturing forth"
Keep writing and expressing your literary talents.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Nad,
Thank you for your feedback. It is definitely a rough draft and your input is valued. I will look through it once again and 'fix' the flow errors. Please read the whole book if you can, I will be posting more chapters.
Eileen
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You are most welcome! I'm glad that you did not see this as a rebuke but rather as a helpful review.
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You are most welcome! I'm glad that you did not see this as a rebuke but rather as a helpful review.