Saltwater Ghosts
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Holding Onto Secrets"Young girl with special abilities.
15 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
It is hard to comprehend that one bad parent will not be stopped by the parent who knows they are doing wrong to an innocent child because they don't want to be yelled at. Good writing, tough to read. Karen
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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It is hard to comprehend that one bad parent will not be stopped by the parent who knows they are doing wrong to an innocent child because they don't want to be yelled at. Good writing, tough to read. Karen
Comment Written 30-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024
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Not sure Lester's uncle really pays attention. Lol. And he isn't around them while they are at the post office. Thank you for touching this one out. Gretchen
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:-)
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
as always, another great chapter. I love the way you write, all the little details that make it so easy to imagine the scene before me. Cantaloupe sounds good right now. Actually, so does a tomato sandwich, and I just ate not long ago. I can't recall why Lester is in trouble with his aunt, unless she's just such an old bag she doesn't need an excuse to be mad. Anyway, well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Hello Gretchen,
as always, another great chapter. I love the way you write, all the little details that make it so easy to imagine the scene before me. Cantaloupe sounds good right now. Actually, so does a tomato sandwich, and I just ate not long ago. I can't recall why Lester is in trouble with his aunt, unless she's just such an old bag she doesn't need an excuse to be mad. Anyway, well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Tom, thank you so much. I'm so happy this story resonates and rings true. You do know the sea and the sounds and smells that go along with the setting. Let me know if anything sounds off. I really thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
I love how you sneak that little hint of attraction and emotion in and then play it off as just friends. There is not story that is complete without a touch of humor and a dash of feelings. And you do it so well always. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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I love how you sneak that little hint of attraction and emotion in and then play it off as just friends. There is not story that is complete without a touch of humor and a dash of feelings. And you do it so well always. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Ric. Heddy does care fir Lester. Cuts the loneliness a tad. Thank you for the awesome compliment. Gretchen
Comment from John Ciarmello
You're showing instead of telling the chapters always shine through, Gretchen.
Lester is being neglected and being used as a workhorse. I'm guessing there's a lot more in store for Lester.
Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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You're showing instead of telling the chapters always shine through, Gretchen.
Lester is being neglected and being used as a workhorse. I'm guessing there's a lot more in store for Lester.
Best, JohnC
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Poor Lester, you are right. He is in need of a break but probably won't get one. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent chapter. Heddy is very intuitive, and knows her brother won't be the same, after the traumas of war. Thank goodness for her Nonni, helping her to both prepare and cope with possible realities.Mrs Collette is both severe and unloving to Lester - and quite neglectful both of his physical needs and his emotional well-being. It wouldn't surprise me if dhe just "happens" to lose some important mail for Heddy's mother.
Well written, as always.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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An excellent chapter. Heddy is very intuitive, and knows her brother won't be the same, after the traumas of war. Thank goodness for her Nonni, helping her to both prepare and cope with possible realities.Mrs Collette is both severe and unloving to Lester - and quite neglectful both of his physical needs and his emotional well-being. It wouldn't surprise me if dhe just "happens" to lose some important mail for Heddy's mother.
Well written, as always.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Mrs. Collette reminds me of a woman I worked with. She just flat out didn't like one of her daughters. She was fine about the other two, but her youngest was treated like a burden. It broke my heart. I'll bet Mrs. Collette knows what's in the mail before anyone gets a chance to read their stuff. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Could it be that Mrs. Collete isn't giving them all their mail? She is so unpleasant and seems to be starving Lester. Lester is not having a great summer but he is still trying to please his awful aunt.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Could it be that Mrs. Collete isn't giving them all their mail? She is so unpleasant and seems to be starving Lester. Lester is not having a great summer but he is still trying to please his awful aunt.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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I don't think he's trying to please her. I think he's trying to fly under the radar. Lol. Thank you fir this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Heddy seems to have a sixth sense and somehow realises that her brother might be different when he comes home and she will not recognise him. War changes people.
Communication happens so quickly these days and news travels at lightening speed, it must have been frustrating waiting for letters back then. Another fine chapter Gretchen, always a pleasure to read, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Heddy seems to have a sixth sense and somehow realises that her brother might be different when he comes home and she will not recognise him. War changes people.
Communication happens so quickly these days and news travels at lightening speed, it must have been frustrating waiting for letters back then. Another fine chapter Gretchen, always a pleasure to read, love Dolly x
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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I had a pen pal in the Gulf War. We didn't have cell phones then, at least I didn't. We would write and it would be a couple of weeks between letters. That was tough enough. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I love the images of the dreaming Some others might be able to identify with this also. But now we're getting into some major mystery The reader is leaning forward. This is a wonderful descriptive paragraph so much so that we are almost getting mayonnaise on our face: "He quickly jumps from the porch to where I'm standing. The bread looks soggy but that doesn't stop him. He eats it faster than I've ever seen anyone eat. There's mayonnaise on the corners of his mouth and he just wipes his forearm across it. good work
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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I love the images of the dreaming Some others might be able to identify with this also. But now we're getting into some major mystery The reader is leaning forward. This is a wonderful descriptive paragraph so much so that we are almost getting mayonnaise on our face: "He quickly jumps from the porch to where I'm standing. The bread looks soggy but that doesn't stop him. He eats it faster than I've ever seen anyone eat. There's mayonnaise on the corners of his mouth and he just wipes his forearm across it. good work
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Liz. Somehow Artie, Willis and Lester's lives will collide. Not sure how yet. Stay tuned. Gretchen
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I will indeed
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Gretchen,
Another fine chapter that is filled with the kind of details that just make me smile.
For example, the scenario with the melon: "That's understandable." She continues to cut the pale orange fruit into small cubes. She picks a piece up and offers it to me then pops one in her mouth. "Mmm. This is the best one yet."
Love the detail.
And in this passage as well: "The bread looks soggy but that doesn't stop him. He eats it faster than I've ever seen anyone eat. There's mayonnaise on the corners of his mouth and he just wipes his forearm across it."
It's those little details that make your writing stand out to me.
Two small edits needed:
*Its(It's) the only time you can go on adventure(s?) without having to leave the coziness of your own bed.
*Who knows, Heddy, he might just need a few days to breath (breathe) in this good salty air, and he'll be good as new."
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Hello, Gretchen,
Another fine chapter that is filled with the kind of details that just make me smile.
For example, the scenario with the melon: "That's understandable." She continues to cut the pale orange fruit into small cubes. She picks a piece up and offers it to me then pops one in her mouth. "Mmm. This is the best one yet."
Love the detail.
And in this passage as well: "The bread looks soggy but that doesn't stop him. He eats it faster than I've ever seen anyone eat. There's mayonnaise on the corners of his mouth and he just wipes his forearm across it."
It's those little details that make your writing stand out to me.
Two small edits needed:
*Its(It's) the only time you can go on adventure(s?) without having to leave the coziness of your own bed.
*Who knows, Heddy, he might just need a few days to breath (breathe) in this good salty air, and he'll be good as new."
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Diane. I appreciate the nice review and the edits. It's and its are going to be the death of me. Lol. Again, thank you. Gretchen
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh poor Heddy! She really is lonely and retreating into her dream world. This excellent chapter skilfully captures her sadness and anxiety regarding her brother and, also, her need for companionship right now. Small edit:he might just need a few days to breath(e) in this good, salty air.
Thank you for sharing, Gretchen. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Oh poor Heddy! She really is lonely and retreating into her dream world. This excellent chapter skilfully captures her sadness and anxiety regarding her brother and, also, her need for companionship right now. Small edit:he might just need a few days to breath(e) in this good, salty air.
Thank you for sharing, Gretchen. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 26-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Debbie. I'm so happy you are still with me on this. Also, thank you for the edit. Gretchen
