Reviews from

No Swimming Allowed

A senryu of inaction

3 total reviews 
Comment from Saki the Artist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

GENIUS!!!
This poem really makes you do a double-take, as you realize that, yes, maybe the lifeguard is saying "I told you so," but also, maybe the lifeguard is merely indicating that the drowning person is simply following the rules too literally.

(Am I misinterpreting the pun? O.o It seems like I have a different interpretation that those ofthe other two reviewers. But that's totally the joke, right? The subtitle to the poem is "a senryu of inaction," after all.)

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
    Thank you so much for your incredibly kind review! And SIX stars! Wow!

    You're actually on the right track don't worry! I purposely wrote the poem ambiguously enough that there could be multiple takes. Like you said, it could be an I told you so, or a literal "no swimming" pun. But it can also be read as, "I can't help her. I'm not supposed to swim there," in the vein of the following of rules or orders at the cost of other people. It could also be read farther as in, why is the other person shifting responsibility to someone "in authority" when they have the means to provide aid themselves. Really it can be interpreted in a lot of ways! It was inspired by the trolley problem (an ethical debate that has always fascinated me. If you're unfamiliar with it the RadioLab episode 'The Bad Show' does a really good overview of it) and the supposed 'moral dilemmas' of nazi soldiers. How you interpret it I think is rather telling of your own personal experiences with authority and orders.

    Thank you so much for reading! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! And thank you again for the six stars!
reply by Saki the Artist on 28-Mar-2024
    Ah, okay, so it goes even a layer deeper. The lifeguard is also a rule follower to a fault. Very clever.

    I live in Austria, and there is much talk about Nazi politics and history here. I'm surprised I didn't catch the reference.

    I'm familiar with that podcast episode. Good stuff.
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This 5-7-5, No Swimming Allowed, has the proper formatting and seems to note that the person responsible for safety, is more an "I told you so." type of person.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
    Thank you
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very good cautionary about taking things too literally. The sign did say no swimming, but perhaps not no saving.

It is a fine senryu and just one small typo:

The lifguard (lifeguard)

Superb presentation too, and many thanks for sharing. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024
    Oh no the typo! I didn?t even catch it! Thank you so much!