Comment from tfawcus

Exceptional

I like the way you used the cat's reaction to spark the idea in Alan's mind. The detailed explanation is something that many readers might skim through, but you've covered that neatly with the summary paragraph starting, 'My invention then would require ...'
Another excellent chapter, Jim.

One thing I might omit--'I will unlatch it later.' It doesn't seem to add anything germane and is far enough away from the unlatching to cause the reader to pause. Me, anyway!

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024

Thanks for your great review and for the 6 stars too, Tony. I hadn't originally planned to make the cat the trigger for the invention. Originally, it was going to be Ginnie's various remarks, but someone gave me this idea, and I thought it was a good one. It fit into the theme of the story very well.

It's not usually the case, but with dyslexia anyway, what you hear is often more reliable than what you see with your lyin' eyes.

Comment from Mrs. KT

Exceptional

Hello, Jim!
I enjoyed reading your post this morning. Above all, I found it incredibly interesting to read of the OrCam MyEye device. I had never heard of it until I read your story.

I also smiled at the "dehumdingifier." Way to go Alan and Tommy! Great comeback!

Below, please find two little nits regarding verb tense. And please accept my apologies if I have erred in my perspective:

* I will (would) unlatch it later.
* Possible? I don't (didn't) know yet,

Thank you for sharing!
Much enjoyed,
diane

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024

Thanks very much, diane, for your great support of this story and for those 6 stars. I really appreciate it.

Thanks also for these corrections. I made the second one, but I'm just not sure about the first one. Although I'm using past tense for the majority of it, it's still happening now, and not as a reminiscence of the past. Therein lies the difference, I think.

Using proper tenses in a story can be a challenge. Most stories are told in past tense, which may seem odd, because at what point in time are you actually telling the story? This story is happening as Alan narrates it, but when exactly does the action take place? If it's happening right this very moment, shouldn't I use present tense? Many authors do, but I just don't like the sound of it (except in a recap) because I've gotten used to the way perhaps 90% of stories are written using past tense. It's a conventional way of telling a story as if the action just happened, and now he's telling about it. Therefore, if he hasn't yet but will unlatch Archie's door later, he uses future tense. If, however, I was telling this story from some future point in time as a reminiscence, then I already unlatched the door and I would have used the future past tense of "would."

There are a number of times I use present tense when something will persist or continue beyond this point in the story. This often pertains to descriptions of people, such as, "I saw Tommy's mother walk by. God, is she pretty." One of the things I watch out for when proofreading is to make sure I'm consistent with my tenses. But I occasionally miss a few.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

How interesting that what you were inventing for your story someone had invented something similar. It's what many of us dream of, inventing something the world realises it needs. Even though I'm not technicaloly minded I found this an interesting chapter, Jim. Well written,
heers,
valda

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024

Thank you so much, Valda. I'm delighted to hear that it was still interesting to you, even though it might have been a little bit technical.

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

All right... Allen the inventor is about to make a fortune!

Well, let's hope. His idea seems plausible, he just has to get all the parts (small parts for sure).

Your research and inventor driven mind have you good foundation for part 2.
Thanks
John

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Thanks, John. I did the easy part. The hard part comes when you then have to make it work. Fortunately, I'm leaving that up to Alan, because I could never do it.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

Alan is really fitting into Ginnie and Tommy's little family unit. Who would think a frightened cat would help someone think up such a helpful invention? But then an apple falling out of a tree gave one guy a very bright idea.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Well, you're right. Originally, I was going to have Ginnie be the trigger for the idea, but someone a while back suggested I make Archie the one, and I liked that idea. Gotta give him some purpose for being in the novel.

Comment from T B Botts

Excellent

Hello Jim,
this was some original writing buddy. I like how your mind thinks. I've thought of different things, although they probably already exist, I just don't own them. One thing that really bothers me is driving at night, and the side mirrors reflect the lights behind me. Why couldn't they make the side mirrors like polarized glasses, so they darken? It would keep a guy from being blinded by night. Anyway, I loved the story. Well done.
Blessings,
Tom

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Thanks, Tom.

I know what you mean, and I like your idea for the mirror. I've thought of inventing a machine you could stick your foot in, and it would clip your toenails for you to the perfect shape and length. Then you wouldn't have to bend over your big belly and apply all your might to get 'em clipped, 'cause it's getting tougher these days. This would save trips to the podiatrist or the nail salon to do it for you. Ideas are a dime a dozen; the tough part is actually making 'em happen!

reply by T B Botts on 23-Mar-2024

Wouldn't it be nice to be paid handsomely for all the grand ideas that we come up with? I thought of taco pants for people who eat tacos so they wouldn't ruin their clothes. Taco pants would be like rain gear with a trough around the belly area to catch all the stuff that drips out of your taco when eating. Inevitably, salsa or meat juice drips on your pants, and it looks like you peed yourself. Which maybe you did, but why compound the problem? With taco pants, no problem, just go hose them off and put them away until the next time you have a Mexican meal.
I understand perfectly the dilemma of trying to bend over and trim my nails. Perhaps a pair of long handled clippers would work. You could just sit on the bed and get to work. Perhaps there would be little magnifying glasses down near the clippers so you didn't cut the nail too short. You know Jim, between the two of us, we could probably come up with some novel ideas. We'd just have to patent them to keep anyone from stealing them. Great minds think alike!

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Yeah, I'm sure we'd make millions!

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

Each chapter clarifies the meaning of the title of your novel. This chapter, using the example of Archie being afraid of people he knew but didn't recognize, was perfect. Reading the technical description of Alan's perspective invention slowed me down a bit as I tried to grasp and visualize each detail. As the story progresses, I don't want to be left behind, especially since Part 2 of your novel is engrossing.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Thanks, Lorraine. If you took the time to understand that much, that's all you'll really need to know about the invention. It gets a little more technical in a few paragraphs a little later, but that is not meant to really understand them better so much as to show two geeks talking about them and establishing their bona-fides that they know what they are talking about.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Now I understand why you chose this title - what dyslexics see and what others see! Great idea to come up with that invention. My first reading about dyslexia was that some people were simply helped by using a sheet of colored plastic over a page. It was the black text against a white background that was hard to read. But Alan's new invention sounds rather fancy. I liked how to brought everything together from the "rose-colored glasses" comment to Archie being spooked by looks.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Thanks, Helen. Was it you who a while ago suggested that Archie be the one who really triggers the idea? Someone suggested that to me, and I thought that was a good idea. It was not my original intention to do that, but I liked it when I heard it.

reply by lyenochka on 25-Mar-2024

I am not sure but I could have suggested it as you know I was very happy that you added a cat to your list of characters!

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024

Absolutely! People bugged me that there was no cat in my last novel (as there had been in my previous ones.) Couldn't let another one go without a cat in it!

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

What a marvelous happenstance. Or, more likely, someone briefly brought it up, or you read a blurb. or you whizzed past it in your trolling. We see things we don't notice all the time, but our brain stores the info. :-) Karen

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Yeah, I don't really remember how I thought that up. I just remember that many months ago, I suggested this story idea to my wife as we were sitting at breakfast at a restaurant one day, and I described it to her then.

I think a lot of great ideas come about through serendipity. The post-it note was a total accident because the inventor was trying to develop a really strong glue. Dimples on a golf ball came about because they noticed that scuffed up balls tended to fly the farthest and straightest. My novel Saving Mr. Calvin describes that bit of serendipity.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Jim, I like the the way you explore new venues to help with dislexia. A lot has been done over the years to help with this. It's quite amazing. I liked this chapter. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2024

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2024

Thanks, Ulla. This device is actually in use today, not only by dyslexics, but also the blind. It costs a mere $3,500 dollars.